i broke no contact and said i wanted to get back together have i ruined it?

my ex girlfriend broke up with me 2 and a half weeks ago it was mutual because of arguments we was arguing for about 2 weeks.I agreed to the break up because i thought it was best but now i want her back i rang her yesterday and today saying how i would change and i want to get back together and my plan on working through the arguments and how i see things differently . she was not interested have i ruined my chance in getting her back. I have decided i am going no contact from the start not for her for me i need the time to heal i know i have made a huge mistake in contacting her twice by ringing and she now has all the power.I just want to know if there is still a chance?.Last time we spoke she said "if we do get back together in would not be soon and its more likely we will not than we do but she does not know what the future holds so who knows" i think i sounded desperate on the phone and i know that is a big put off.

Years....not weeks...of NC are in order.

why do you say that?

Because people don't change in weeks.

Because she told you...maybe at some point in the future.

That isnt months...that is years down the road.

I thought you were doing NC to heal?

i am. i am just one of those people that try and know what will happen i know that is impossible but everyone wonders what will happen in the future and thanks for your quick response and honest reply

You can't fight for a relationship if the other person isnt interested.

yeah I know its just hard when you love them and they do not potentially feel the same way.

A person is not an item I guess...like mhowe said, if the other person is simply not interested, its nearly impossible. If its a person you don't know, persistence might work, but they know you really well, so there isn't really much that can change their mind.

Then again I'm not an expert, just sharing my point of view. Its over and you're gonna have to deal with it. And its probably going to suck...just prepare yourself and you'll be OK in a while. Don't worry and just grit through it and keep going and doing the things you would normally do.

Lots of help here if you have more trouble than you were expecting. Some people take it worse than others but its important to never give up and keep as positive an attitude as possible.

Hi spider, when you go online there are all these very formulaic rules on how long to wait before contacting, usually say 30 days if you want the GF back. As far as I'm concerned, IMO, what you did was fine. You are not over her and you expressed your desire to change things so she would be happy. It didn't work but the upside is you made the attempt, it also sucks to have regrets over not trying. Now you can move on with the satisfaction you tried to patch things up but it didn't work. Sorry your in a rough patch it'll get better!

You didn't do anything wrong, in fact this way you won't be sitting around wondering "what if I said something?" Now you've said something and got it out of your system, even though the result wasn't what you had hoped for.

However, at this point, there's nothing you can do if the other party isn't interested in reconciliation. You just need to sit back and work on yourself and start to do things for yourself. No guarantees in life.

Spidey...Going no contact to get someone back is not going to work. Yes it has for some people in the past, but the difference here is that the girl does not want to get back. She has already said no to you. And you are fooling yourself into thinking that if you go another few weeks of no contact she will miss you and want you back..

Its not going to happen...

No Contact is a tool that one uses to heal ones self. Its not meant as a chip you use to play a game. BTW, you didnt give her the power, she had it all along and she has not pulled the trigger in saying Oh baby I missed you... This is probably the easiest way I can explain to you what is the current situation okay.

She is no longer interested in you.....

That means she doesnt care about what promises were made, what you two said about the future, or anything else regarding a future with you.. You must disregard everything concerning that.

Now.... There is no way for you to "win" her back.. that is not going to happen here. What has to be done is that you must go out and do things to make you happy for you.