EX GF called and caught me off guard!!

Take it easy on me guys.

Ex GF called me earlier on my phone I thought it's one of my clients but to my shock it's my EX GF.. She uses a different number so she knows that I would answer.. If i know that it's her I wouldn't have answer it.

I've been in no contact for almost 2 months now and Ignoring all her text.

I'll make it short as possible guys so you won't be bored..

So here how's the conversation goes.

Her: Hey how are you?

Me: Doing ok what do you want?

Her: Oh sorry to bother you I just thought that we could at least be friends. I misunderstood I won't call you again.

Me: Sorry we can't be friends right now I need time and space to heal and I hope you could understand that. Maybe in the future but not now.

Her: I expected it. I understand! I hope when you are ready we could at least talk. I will always be here waiting for your call or text when you are ready to talk.

Me: It's not that I'm not ready to talk to you. It's just that I can't be your friend. I want you something else in my life not just a friend. ( GUYS I F*CK UP HERE SO BAD!)

Her: I understand!

Me: I thought so! So if you can't commit to us then it's the best for us to move on!

Her: let me understand that moving on to you is not talking to each other?

Me: As I said we both need time and space to move on and why do you want to talk to me if you don't want anything to do with me?

Her: Arghh! Nevermind I'm just calling to ask how you were that's all!! and all of this happen! I didn't want this to happen

Me: Let me ask you something. Do you really just want to be friends? ( I F*CK UP MORE SO BAD)

Her: We are talking about this again?? I thought we already talk about this when we broke up.. Why do you need to bring up all this??

Me: I am not asking to get back together! I am asking if the intention of your call is just to be friends. (BECOME MORE F*CK UP)

Her: I already told you this earlier so many times!

Me: Then ok. (IT'S LIKE I STUIPIDLY AGREED TO BECAME A DOORMAT FRIENDZONE)

Her: She started talking about stuff, catching up etc etc..

Me: Hey I need to go to bed! Have work tom! I'll text you tom! goodnight! (I F*CK UP MORE NOT GONNA TEXT HER THOUGH)

Her: Goodnight sleep tight! Bye!

So guys I feel terrible and all my progress for 2 months of No Contact is now useless! I hate myself on how I handled the situation it's like She got mind control on me.

What's wrong with this woman calling me with a different number so I would answer? She obviously got what she wanted..

EGO BOOST! 1000% BOOST!

F*ck guys! I need some love.. Dunno what to do at this point

Dont be hard on yourself!! You seem cool/normal..while she seems like a crazy ex from a comedy movie.haha..she should be embarrassed..just keep ignoring her. She will get the point eventually..

Thank you! How do I start ignoring her again when it looks like I already agreed to be friends with her?

Do I just do it without saying anything?

Dont be hard on yourself!! You seem cool/normal..while she seems like a crazy ex from a comedy movie.haha..she should be embarrassed..just keep ignoring her. She will get the point eventually..

yeah, just do it w/out saying anything. I'd just look at this as a little snag and go NC again. Don't beat yourself up, you were caught off guard, ambushed. The important thing is you still have your head on straight and aren't writing about your hopes of reuniting w/ her. If you still have the number she used last night you can put her name to it so you're not caught off guard again (if she uses that number).

Well. Dont worry about that too much..That conversation seems confusing. Just ignore her text/calls...if she sends tons of them maybe send one text saying " i was thrown off guard when you called me. And the conversation was confusing. I really mean it when i say i cant be friends/ talk anymore".....if she wants to keep talking ignore her..it will probably be repeat of the phone conversation you just had. You dont need to explain yourself further..

Thank you guys.. I just felt really bad. as if like my 2 months progress is gone and probably because I found out that she doesn't want to commit too..

Sigh

Well. Dont worry about that too much..That conversation seems confusing. Just ignore her text/calls...if she sends tons of them maybe send one text saying " i was thrown off guard when you called me. And the conversation was confusing. I really mean it when i say i cant be friends/ talk anymore".....if she wants to keep talking ignore her..it will probably be repeat of the phone conversation you just had. You dont need to explain yourself further..

Its just a bump in the road. You have made progress--your holding your ground--Even if she said she wanted a relationship, it would be some wishy washy bs at this point..and just as annoying.

Be sure to stand by your decision to not text her.

In fact, do not contact her at all. That includes answering her phone calls.

Your Ex was wrong to call you like that and expect you to want to talk to her in a friendly manner.

She is mad that you have been ignoring her and wants to relieve some of the guilt that she is most likely feeling for breaking things off with you. I can tell that it was really starting to bother her that you haven't been giving in to her texts.

And don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing better than most and she completely caught you off guard. I do not like how she got annoyed with you wanting to clarify what her true intentions were....You have every right to want to know why she insists on trying to remain in contact with you. She broke the relationship and if she cared for you, she wouldn't spend so much time giving you breadcrumbs and let you heal from her decision.

Your ex is a trip though...This was my favorite line

Her: let me understand that moving on to you is not talking to each other?

Yes, because you can move on by being in constant contact with her, right??

Look, just keep at what you've been doing. Not responding to her texts. If she has to call you from different numbers to keep in touch with you, then that shows that she is the weak one and you are in total control.

She is seeing that you are not a doormat and she may not like it now...but she will gain some respect for you for it.

Keep at it!

i just wish.. i could have that day when my ex calls me.. Anyway thats not the topic here.

All i would say is please dont curse yourself. I believe you did the right thing. I mean, there's nothing perfect in this world. By doing this she might thing of you even more but thats just how humans react. So please dont spend this time thinking about her.

You should have just a single path to follow and that is... NO REPLY to her not because its a strategy but because its what she deserves. She broke up with you and now she deserves all the shut up calls. She deserves the silent treatment

She was being tricky and caught you off gurard- not your fault.

Sorry if it's set you back at all.

I agree with Firefly^^.... Stand by your decision- NO contact. It can be hard.. but as long as you keep up with your plans and have now informed her.. again, that you cannot be 'friends'.

She'll come to realize this when you do NOT reply to her anymore.

The true FACT of this all, is that WE are 'trying' to recover from OUR loss! It is VERY hard to deal with. And them, acting like this.. like you said, 'ego boost'. Is not helping us any! It hurts- it's frustrating.

I told my ex same thing.. I cannot be a 'friend' with you at this time. I need to 'heal' and move on now.

He's had another in my place for 8 mos.. hurts like ****. So, he can NOT have me around AND her- fps!

He sent 2 msg's my way in the last few weeks. 2 weeks ago, saying miss you lots. and one last Thurs, saying How are you.. really miss you. ( I never replied).

BUT, IF he really does miss me this much? He'd back away from her! But.. well, you know.. *sigh*- he hasn't

Yes, just keep going.. it's been 2 months- not that long yet. BUT keep going UP, for YOU.

One day at a time.. yes, it can be very hard.. stick with us.. we understand.

tc

Hi-sorry to hear this dude

She is testing you.

Why did you say you would text her? What's happened since?

Cheers

The call just happened yesterday mate. Maybe she is expecting a text from me today cause I said I'll text her. Will see today if she message.. I will ignore it though.

Hi-sorry to hear this dude

 

She is testing you.

 

Why did you say you would text her? What's happened since?

 

Cheers

I was reading this thinking to myself that you responded like anyone probably would in this situation. I think you handled it well in my opinion.

Thank you guys.. I just felt really bad. as if like my 2 months progress is gone and probably because I found out that she doesn't want to commit too..

 

 

Sigh

 

 

wait... so if i'm reading this right, you basically feel bad because you found out she doesn't want to commit TOO... meaning you'd have felt better if she wanted to commit but you didn't just so you can get an ego boost and turn her down? That's kinda cruel on your part. If you want nothing to do with her just let it be. I know she was wrong to have ambushed you, but your hopes of her wanting to get back with you just so you can turn her down is kind of a wrong mindset too. If you wanna get over her, then get over her... who cares if she wanted you back or not cuz either way it doesn't change the fact that you don't want her... so stick to that and don't worry so much about anything else... don't let something as stupid as whether or not she wants you back or not affect you at all...

No you got it wrong.. She been contacting me few times since we broke up and I'm ignoring all her text.. She acts like she is concerned to me and everything..

I got a bit of course disappointed and felt bad when I found out that all her contacts is not to commit and to just bugged me and be friends And I am not turning her down if she wants to give us another chance again. As I have my mistakes in the relationship too..

As of right now at least I know she doesn't have anything to offer and just be friends.. I am actually in peace and starting to move on the past 2 months as I am not contacting her anymore and doing well with No contact.

That conversation just set me back big time..

other than agreeing to being her friend, i wouldnt stress. I wouldnt say you did anything horrible. She obviously isnt interested in being your lover. NC screw up or not, at least you know now it's totally over and can really commit to moving on.

She's using you for either an ego stroke or a possible Plan B option..... more likely, she's feeling lonely and bored because she's between boyfriends and nobody's giving her that special attention..... so, she calls YOU just for the rush of being in contact with someone who wants to be with her!

Uggghhh.

My advice, honestly, is to just change your cell number. That's really the easiest way -- much easier than having to ignore her insipid breadcrumbs or surprise calls. And be sure you've blocked her on all social media sites -- and that her email address is blocked on your email as well! This *sounds* drastic, but frankly it's super simple to do and eliminates all this drama and grief!

STOP making yourself so accessible to her.

You handled that phone call as well as anyone could -- don't beat yourself up over it! But don't give her the opportunity to continue to USE YOU for ego strokes this way, it isn't right. She's being selfish, whether she's aware of it or not.

And don't feel guilty or mean about cutting her off -- as much as she SAYS she wants to be friends.... you can bet that *special friendship* will end forever the day she meets her new boyfriend!