Overheard my girlfriend telling her friends she cheated on me.
Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship and have been for together for over a year.
One night I fell asleep while we were on FaceTime (webcam) and I ended up waking up around 5am.. I put my headphones in - as FaceTime was still running - and it could hear her talking to her friends over Skype on some kind of group chat. I tried getting back to sleep but I couldn't, so I just laid in bed listening to what she was saying to her friends (she thought I was still asleep). After a while of listening to what she had to say she started slagging me off to her friends saying things like "I'm going to have to go in like 8 minutes because my girlfriend wakes up and she has to keep me in check. Urgh its <mod edit> pissing me off though! I have to like fake sleep for a while until she leaves for college then get back up again..otherwise she gets all cranky, it's like she has to let loose or something". Then she went on to say that she couldn't be bothered to deal with me when she got home from school etc. then after a while she said "Carmen came round earlier... She got really close to me, then I got close to her and I just couldn't help myself... I <mod edit> her." She was also going on to her friends about how she would "<mod edit> anyone who if they were hot" standing outside her bedroom door.
After time went by I told her than I heard everything in the past 2 hours or so... And she just denied it all. She said that everything she said was a lie just to make her friend jealous.. Because supposedly some girl (Carmen) told my girlfriend to tell her best friend all of that, to make her jealous.
I just don't know what to believe anymore.. It just seems unbelievable. I need help.. I don't know what to do. Please help :'/
Last edited by HeartGoesOn; 10-12-2013 at 12:39 AM.
Reason: Language-Please review the posting guidelines.
I don't know if she's telling me the truth or not.. That's the problem, she's saying she didn't cheat, it was just do make her friend jealous.. she's just saying she did, even though didn't. Even though I heard it all.
Let's say that she isn't cheating on you and that's just how some people talk to their friends, why the need to talk bad about you?
Now you'll never truly know what the real deal is because she'll be more cautious about her actions after that slip up. I personally believe that she cheated and she'll continue to if she believes you're a doormat/gullible.
Regardless of what GF did or not with one girl, you've discovered without a doubt that she's disloyal to you.
So the question becomes...why would you want someone like that in your life?
Could your choice of GF be a reflection of how little you think of your Self?
If that's possible, I'd tell GF that you want some time to yourself and not to contact you. Then I'd challenge myself to pursue as much self help AND counseling as possible to work on learning and practicing the skill of self respect.
I call it a skill, because it's not natural to everyone, and it can be learned. Some of the smartest, most admirable people you've ever met have needed to learn how to love and respect themselves.
You may not believe this now, but you'll be in much better company without that GF. When you can grow to appreciate this, you'll thank your Self.
Head high, and better days ahead.
Try backing off. It seems to be a well kept secret how many wonders occur and problems straighten out when we do nothing but leave someone alone.
What a horrible thing to overhear. The lack of respect is staggering. Sweetie, you know that you can no longer trust this chick. For the sake of your dignity you can't pretend it was just a simple misunderstanding. It's not. She was cruel. A lot of the things she was were downright spiteful.
This is the person she is.
As truley awful as it was to overhear this conversation, there is no going back. Sweetie, you didn't deserve that barrage of vindictive abuse, do you? Who does? If you take her back you are effectively saying, "It's okay. You behaviour is okay and acceptable to me. I see your terms and I accept them."
Your relationship will never recover from that. I can imagine that this is a horrible, horrible and painful shock, but denying that it happened and shutting out the words, doesn't help you. Honestly, you can face this. You have the ability to stand up for yourself and say NO.
You can do it.
There are simply no excuses. Her actions were inexcusable.