Hello everyone, i'm new to this forum but i found it and i decided to make a thread and hopefully i get some responses..
So the story is that I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years, and throughout the whole relationship he always accused me of cheating. I know i shouldnt have kept dating him from the beginning or moved in with him, but he was my first serious relationship and i was dumb and believed that he would change for me. I loved him from the beginning and i love him to this day, but he has just accused me of cheating so much and so often its ridiculous. He thinks that when i go to work i sometimes have people cover my shift, and then ill go out with guys. He is possessive and super jealous. He never lets me hang out with any (girl) co-workers. If i did want to hang out with them, he'd refuse to take me to their house, and always make it a huge deal(i didnt have my own car, so he'd use that to control me too). He tells me im being shady/full of sh*t when im being completely honest with him.
I am young and lets say he is 25+ . I would assume a guy this age should be stable and mature, and he always tells me how much he loves me, that i mean the world to him, but then he will treat me like the bottom of his shoe.
It has been this way for a long time now and im getting tired of it, i used to think that he would change, and i had faith in him. But now i dont believe he will change but i love him a lot its stupid. I am a good girl, i dont have any friends i just go to work and back. We both play video games so i didnt hang out with people much. And he still accused me a lot.
Now, i left once to visit my family (had to go out of state) when i bought my ticket it was to break up, but mentalities changed and i love him so much i ended up returning after 6 days. Things didnt really change, they might have for maybe a week or so but not definitely. Again, I left him just recently and when i bought the ticket, it was to break up once again. Now here I am, i am not with him right now I am with my family but we still talk/text. I am confused, I wanted to leave him when i bought the ticket, when he mistreated me i would right them down on my phone so i could remember the cruel things he accused/told me. That i most certainly dont deserve. Isn't he supposed to treat me right if he loves me as much as he says he does? So now im out here, away from him and i miss him. I always miss him when im away from him, but i dont want to be mistreated again.
I just need advice and i need your personal experience if u had one similiar, and hopefully you felt better when u really broke it off. Cuz im young and hes my first love im just scared i wont find someone who i will love or who will treat me right. I'd feel stupid if i gave in to my sadness, go back to him and he just treats me worse, and he doesn't change.
(and thats only the beginning)
Please help, friends.