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  1. #1

    boyfriend doesn't want to be intimate anymore

    Hi, I've never posted on a forum before so be nice :')
    I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now (known him for a year). We have had a bit of an 'explosive' relationship with plenty of ups and downs but we've always came through it stronger in the end. We used to have a really good sex life, as in we used to have sex about 3 times a day ( I know I'm so lucky). but over the last few days I've tried to initiate sex and tried to kiss and cuddle him and he just doesn't want to do it. It's not just the fact he doesn't want to have sex, he doesn't want to do anything, doesn't want to kiss or cuddle or anything. I've tried talking to him about it and he says he just 'wants to be left alone'. Usually he's all over me and I can tell that he's attracted to me but just lately its like he doesn't even want me there. Lately (the last few months) he's been asking for anal a lot and I thought it was just him being a boy and since he hasn't wanted sex with me the last few days I thought maybe if I offered him anal it might change his mind but he didn't even want that. I just don't know whats going on, he says he is still attracted to me and he still loves me and still wants to be with me but I just don't understand why he doesn't want to touch me :'( it seems like he's completely gone off me, any ideas guys? I really need advice on what to do because I'm so confused.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member sara-pezzini's Avatar
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    could he be depressed? is there something going on in his life or at his work that causes him stress? is he on meds?
    Well, I won't give up on us , God knows i'm tough enough
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  3. #3
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    It does sound like he's having an emotional problem, but it's impossible to guess what it might be precisely at this distance. While it could be that he's unhappy with you for some reason, and won't talk about it, it could be that he's unhappy about something completely unrelated to you and he's reacting by withdrawing. Only he knows precisely what's going on.

    If he wants to be left alone, your best course may be to leave him alone for a while, even if it has nothing to do with you. Trying to pry it out of him is only going to make him defensive, he needs to be ready to talk to you about it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Jd1983's Avatar
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    Has anything happened lately that is causing him to feel this way?

    There is no reason that he would completely stop being intimate with you, perhaps you should ask him what's going on?

    Maybe he's depressed about something and just needs to talk to someone?

  5. #5
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    Could he be having an affair?
    "Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears" - Marcus Aurelius

    "I know what is best for me. Why do I want you instead?" - unknown

  6. #6
    Platinum Member metrogirl's Avatar
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    I don't know very many men that would turn down sex unless there were big issues in the relationship and he's just not feeling you now. You said it was a rocky relationship, can you explain further?
    I shared my spare on Feb 4th. Ask me about living kidney donation.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Trinity11's Avatar
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    Are you easily available to him? If so, pull back, don't offer your company, sex or affection. Make him miss and desire you again. As well as having other things going on in his life, unlike us girls who like the idea of sex on tap, some guys don't feel the same way. I had a guy who showed similar signs to yours and in the end thats all it was. He wanted to feel that he couldnt always have me any time he wanted.
    What love life?

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Jennifer89's Avatar
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    That's a lot of sex, maybe he just needs a break. I know with my ex we would have sex every day for weeks, then suddenly he's just go off on his own for a few days. There were pretty much always family issues going on though, so maybe that was why, but he would always tell me he just needed a break. As women (those of us who love sex), we could have sex all day, but man need some recovery time, and often, the man are doing more work (unless your on top) and it just takes a lot of energy, you know? I know it's impossible not to wonder what's wrong, but it has only been a few days, so just relax and let it be what it is, if it continues for a while longer, then you need to become concerned.

    He could just be having a hard time at work and not be in the mood, it's not always a big deal when a guy doesn't want to have sex. On the plus side, if your use to getting it three times a day, when you take a break for even just a week, the sex is mind blowing when you get back to it. So you do have that to look forward to!

  9. #9
    Platinum Member ~2 sided coin~'s Avatar
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    It might be that he just needs a break for a few days to recharge his battery.

    For me personally, sex takes a lot out of me. When I finally get that opportunity to release and I'm good, I'm pretty much useless for a little while. For guys, our refractory period is not the same as a woman's.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity11 View Post
    Are you easily available to him? If so, pull back, don't offer your company, sex or affection. Make him miss and desire you again.
    This is game playing. Don't do it. If he's already upset with you for some reason, withdrawing affection is a good way to ensure you break up.

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