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Pegging - please share your experiences.


confusedgf

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Hi Everyone,

 

I have recently become aware that my boyfriend might want to try Pegging, he hasn't said this to me, but he always talks about being completely dominated and has hinted at butt plugs. I had never heard of Pegging before so it is completely new to me, but I am very open minded and would like to hear some of other peoples experiences with this. My main questions are as follows, but any other views would be welcomed! I'd like to know experiences from both a male and female perspective.

 

  • Did you see your partner in a different light afterwards?
  • Did you regret doing it?
  • Has it changed your relationship in a good or bad way?
  • Was it what you expected?
  • Would you say that Pegging overruled 'normal' sex or was it something you'd do once in a while?

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This would depend on how you feel about being in the dominant role and using sex toys. Some people are turned off by it, and some do it regularly and some for variety.

 

You could try it and see whether you like it or not...

 

I think it becomes a problem if you are the type of person who is intimidated by anything other than vanilla sex, or you have strong gender based roles where you are uncomfortable in the dominant role, or you perceive anything about anal sex as being dirty or wrong.

 

And if he only wants that rather than regular sex, that is about him being selfish and not wanting to also please you so I doubt he would go there, and if he does, you can veto it or decide he's too selfish a person in the BR to be a good BF.

 

btw, re: do you see your partner in a different light, someone who is into vanilla sex might because it takes them outside their comfort zone. But my own experience with a lot of men is that they want to try EVERYTHING at least once and if they could find a way to stimulate themselves in every orifice at the same time they'd do it! So it's not about them as a 'person' but about them chasing more sensation and variety because they crave it and are raised watching porn and seeing magazines in ways that most women aren't. So they want to try everything because they've been looking at porn for as long as they could get their hands on it and porn is all about doing different things.

 

He might try it and find it unpleasant and not want to do it because many people find anal sex hurts (and not in a good way) while others find it very pleasurable. It is not uncommon for people to try anal sex and not get more than an tiny bit in before they are wanting to stop and deciding the sensation it is NOT what they had in mind.

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Thank you for your reply lavenderdove.

 

I've never really been in a dominant role before, I'd like to do it I think it is maybe the confidence I'm lacking at the moment but I guess that comes with experience.

I've tried anal before in a previous relationship and loved it so I'm definitely not opposed to it, I also have sex toys myself, I have just never been in the situation where the guy would like this tried on him. I want to pleasure him and I don't feel pressured, I think I would just like to know others experiences before I go ahead with it.

 

The reason I came about Pegging was from a previous post I wrote on here which explained that my BF has often spoke about being dominated and I found that he had watched shemale videos. I'm just a little reserved incase I let him down in respect to what he is after.

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I'm just a little reserved incase I let him down in respect to what he is after.

 

 

That would seem to suggest that you do feel pressured to do it, and that you are doing it to please him but it is not necessarily something that you are into. Now its no big deal to do little things to please our partners but I would think that this is a pretty major role reversal. I can't see how any of those questions that you are asking that us answering them for you helps you in your situation. Yes if you want this relationship to work then you have to meet your partner's needs somewhere, and the same is of course true for him. He has to meet you somewhere too. The way things stand now he is not happy with the way your sex life is now and his needs aren't being met, and that can be problematic especially as these things have a way of escalating, he is likely going to want to do more and more. Chances are pretty high that ultimately he is going to want to do it with someone who is actually really into dominance and submission. If you run into compatibility problems right in the beginning that may be something to consider when you allow things to get serious later on.

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Thank you for your reply lukeb.

 

I don't feel pressured, if it was something I didn't want to do then I wouldn't do it. He doesn't know that I have the incline that he wants to do this. He has never brought the specific subject of Pegging up, its something I've looked into myself.

 

I have never done anything like this before which is why I feel reserved and quite unconfident with it. I think it would help me to hear other peoples experiences, especially those who were new to this kind of thing before they did it.

 

I know what you mean about the fact that it could escalate, my question about whether the pegging overruled 'normal' sex was aimed at this. I am confident in saying that he is satisfied with our sex life at the moment, I think the pegging is a fantasy. I have fantasies myself but it does not mean that I do not like the sex we have and he does satisfy me. I like to think I'm open minded, it's just confidence in things that stop me, but I'm like this in different aspects of my life too.

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Well, that is hard to say because it is based on him as a person.

 

I've known some men who unfortunately REALLY wanted oral sex constantly rather than vaginal sex, and preferred it and didn't feel 'satisfied' unless they got it. And plenty who like both. So you won't know whether he'd want to replace intercourse with pegging until you try it and see what he says. You can make it very clear before you even start that you see it as an occassional thing (once a month? only on birthdays?) and you do not want it to replace intercourse as that is very important to you and your own satisfaction.

 

Personally if i am with someone who only wants it one way and it is not the way i want it most of the time, i consider them incompatible with me. I've been very annoyed with guys who try to turn every sexual encounter into a blow job for themselves and who only like to 'finish' with that and never with intercourse because intercourse for me is something i want in almost every encounter (for at least part of the encounter).

 

If he ends up only wanting pegging and nothing else, then you have a bigger problem in that he is being selfish and not interested in pleasing you. That relationship will never work or only work if you're willing to subvert your own needs to his.

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Personally me and my partner are into vanilla sex so I'd be pretty shocked if he asked me to do it and I would not be willing to. I'd worry what other kind of experimentation it might lead to in the bedroom and when my comfort level would be reached.

 

BUT if you are open to the idea and willing to experiment then give it a go. If you are both consenting adults willing to experiment and both into the idea I can't see why you'd think any different of eachother or him.

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Thank you for your replies.

 

I think I would be comfortable doing it, I just think of what comes after. I read somewhere that a girl did it to her boyfriend and in turn lost the thought of him being masculine which I really like about my guy. I think that's the main worry if anything.

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Yes, that can happen... so you do have to think carefully of it. It's like threesomes... i've know people who have broken up over them because once they have a threesome, sex no longer feels special and intimate for the person and they feel betrayed and depressed watching their partner really get into another person right in front of them. The trust and the intimacy are gone.

 

Pegging isn't so much about trust and intimacy as it is about 'roles' in the bedroom. Some women can even accept a cross dressing husband who only likes sex if he's wearing makeup, high heels and a woman's lingerie. That wouldn't work for me at all because i tend to like manly men. But a plug wouldn't bother me because that is more about stimulating erogenous zones inside his rectum. But i don't think the personally i'd be comfortable with pegging. I'd feel pretty stupid and out of place doing that, but that is just me! I wouldn't think less of my partner if he enjoyed it, but i would feel like that is not in my own comfort zone to act like a man doing it doggie style to another man. Just wouldn't work for me, but nothing 'bad' about it.

 

I think your BF's fascination with shemales does indicate he gets off on crossing gender roles. So if you are comfortable with that then fine, but think about it before you do if you think it is going to change how you view him and the relationship. Perhaps he really needs a shemale! Or perhaps he is just curious...

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This is all very true, I guess it all comes down to communicating what exactly we both want from it.

 

I'm glad I came to this forum, its given me a better understanding on the subject of Pegging and what it really means.

 

I think there is always going to be apprehension with things like this, but I think it's important to try things at least once!

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Some women feel the same uneasiness about any variation outside of vanilla sex. Vanilla sex is role playing as well, he is the manly man and she is the accommodating wife.

 

There are so many misconceptions about sexual behavior and fantasies. A cross-dresser when not indulging in that fantasy could very well be a completely manly man. Someone is not defined by their fantasy or pleasures.

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Thank you for your reply PaintWithLight.

 

I completely agree that people aren't defined by their fantasies. I have fantasies myself. I don't think there is anything wrong with what he wants to try, I think I just dont know how I would react in the situation, there are some things that you can't control. I think that having some prior knowledge would prepare me and make me feel more comfortable which is why I posted the thread.

 

Something else I should mention is that we are about to graduate university, he recently asked me to be his girlfriend and said that he wanted me to be in his life wherever we end up (we could end up being in a Long Distance Relationship). I just worry that if we do this Pegging, he will not be able to satisfy himself in the same way when we live apart without someone else helping him out... But I guess that's a whole different issue.

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