Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    12

    Pegging - please share your experiences.

    Hi Everyone,

    I have recently become aware that my boyfriend might want to try Pegging, he hasn't said this to me, but he always talks about being completely dominated and has hinted at butt plugs. I had never heard of Pegging before so it is completely new to me, but I am very open minded and would like to hear some of other peoples experiences with this. My main questions are as follows, but any other views would be welcomed! I'd like to know experiences from both a male and female perspective.

    • Did you see your partner in a different light afterwards?
    • Did you regret doing it?
    • Has it changed your relationship in a good or bad way?
    • Was it what you expected?
    • Would you say that Pegging overruled 'normal' sex or was it something you'd do once in a while?

  2. #2
    Super Moderator agent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    England
    Age
    31
    Posts
    8,169
    Gender
    Female
    It was part of our regular sex lfie, we both enjoyed it. I don't know why it should make me see my partner differently.
    By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. - Confucius

    You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too.- Anais Nin

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    12
    Thank you for your reply, I don't think that it will make me see him differently, I'm just new to this and would like to know peoples experiences so I feel more prepared when we decide to experiment.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member lavenderdove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    12,237
    This would depend on how you feel about being in the dominant role and using sex toys. Some people are turned off by it, and some do it regularly and some for variety.

    You could try it and see whether you like it or not...

    I think it becomes a problem if you are the type of person who is intimidated by anything other than vanilla sex, or you have strong gender based roles where you are uncomfortable in the dominant role, or you perceive anything about anal sex as being dirty or wrong.

    And if he only wants that rather than regular sex, that is about him being selfish and not wanting to also please you so I doubt he would go there, and if he does, you can veto it or decide he's too selfish a person in the BR to be a good BF.

    btw, re: do you see your partner in a different light, someone who is into vanilla sex might because it takes them outside their comfort zone. But my own experience with a lot of men is that they want to try EVERYTHING at least once and if they could find a way to stimulate themselves in every orifice at the same time they'd do it! So it's not about them as a 'person' but about them chasing more sensation and variety because they crave it and are raised watching porn and seeing magazines in ways that most women aren't. So they want to try everything because they've been looking at porn for as long as they could get their hands on it and porn is all about doing different things.

    He might try it and find it unpleasant and not want to do it because many people find anal sex hurts (and not in a good way) while others find it very pleasurable. It is not uncommon for people to try anal sex and not get more than an tiny bit in before they are wanting to stop and deciding the sensation it is NOT what they had in mind.
    Last edited by lavenderdove; 04-14-2013 at 08:27 AM.

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    12
    Thank you for your reply lavenderdove.

    I've never really been in a dominant role before, I'd like to do it I think it is maybe the confidence I'm lacking at the moment but I guess that comes with experience.
    I've tried anal before in a previous relationship and loved it so I'm definitely not opposed to it, I also have sex toys myself, I have just never been in the situation where the guy would like this tried on him. I want to pleasure him and I don't feel pressured, I think I would just like to know others experiences before I go ahead with it.

    The reason I came about Pegging was from a previous post I wrote on here which explained that my BF has often spoke about being dominated and I found that he had watched shemale videos. I'm just a little reserved incase I let him down in respect to what he is after.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Age
    49
    Posts
    2,419
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by confusedgf View Post
    I'm just a little reserved incase I let him down in respect to what he is after.

    That would seem to suggest that you do feel pressured to do it, and that you are doing it to please him but it is not necessarily something that you are into. Now its no big deal to do little things to please our partners but I would think that this is a pretty major role reversal. I can't see how any of those questions that you are asking that us answering them for you helps you in your situation. Yes if you want this relationship to work then you have to meet your partner's needs somewhere, and the same is of course true for him. He has to meet you somewhere too. The way things stand now he is not happy with the way your sex life is now and his needs aren't being met, and that can be problematic especially as these things have a way of escalating, he is likely going to want to do more and more. Chances are pretty high that ultimately he is going to want to do it with someone who is actually really into dominance and submission. If you run into compatibility problems right in the beginning that may be something to consider when you allow things to get serious later on.

  7. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    12
    Thank you for your reply lukeb.

    I don't feel pressured, if it was something I didn't want to do then I wouldn't do it. He doesn't know that I have the incline that he wants to do this. He has never brought the specific subject of Pegging up, its something I've looked into myself.

    I have never done anything like this before which is why I feel reserved and quite unconfident with it. I think it would help me to hear other peoples experiences, especially those who were new to this kind of thing before they did it.

    I know what you mean about the fact that it could escalate, my question about whether the pegging overruled 'normal' sex was aimed at this. I am confident in saying that he is satisfied with our sex life at the moment, I think the pegging is a fantasy. I have fantasies myself but it does not mean that I do not like the sex we have and he does satisfy me. I like to think I'm open minded, it's just confidence in things that stop me, but I'm like this in different aspects of my life too.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member lavenderdove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    12,237
    Well, that is hard to say because it is based on him as a person.

    I've known some men who unfortunately REALLY wanted oral sex constantly rather than vaginal sex, and preferred it and didn't feel 'satisfied' unless they got it. And plenty who like both. So you won't know whether he'd want to replace intercourse with pegging until you try it and see what he says. You can make it very clear before you even start that you see it as an occassional thing (once a month? only on birthdays?) and you do not want it to replace intercourse as that is very important to you and your own satisfaction.

    Personally if i am with someone who only wants it one way and it is not the way i want it most of the time, i consider them incompatible with me. I've been very annoyed with guys who try to turn every sexual encounter into a blow job for themselves and who only like to 'finish' with that and never with intercourse because intercourse for me is something i want in almost every encounter (for at least part of the encounter).

    If he ends up only wanting pegging and nothing else, then you have a bigger problem in that he is being selfish and not interested in pleasing you. That relationship will never work or only work if you're willing to subvert your own needs to his.

  9. #9
    Super Moderator SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    UK
    Age
    24
    Posts
    11,749
    Gender
    Female
    Personally me and my partner are into vanilla sex so I'd be pretty shocked if he asked me to do it and I would not be willing to. I'd worry what other kind of experimentation it might lead to in the bedroom and when my comfort level would be reached.

    BUT if you are open to the idea and willing to experiment then give it a go. If you are both consenting adults willing to experiment and both into the idea I can't see why you'd think any different of eachother or him.

  10. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    12
    Thank you for your replies.

    I think I would be comfortable doing it, I just think of what comes after. I read somewhere that a girl did it to her boyfriend and in turn lost the thought of him being masculine which I really like about my guy. I think that's the main worry if anything.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
One of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life are failed relationships. Making a relationship work is one of the most important life ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
It has been universally acknowledged that having a long distance relationship is not such a good idea, especially if there is no known end-date to ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Some people say that when we deeply love or care about someone we automatically open the door to betrayal. I am not sure whether such statement holds ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Expert Advice

Online
Call
$3/minute
Caring professional willing to talk about all types of sexual issues. Serious, open discussions with the ages of 18 and older.
Online
CallChat
$1.75/minute
25+ YEARS EXPERIENCE. Repair and restore the joy of your relationship by alleviating sexual dissatisfaction, dysfunction and a wide variety of sexual challenges.
Online
Call
$2.67/minute
Licensed MSW LCSW, Trained and mentored by Internationally known Sex Expert. 30 yrs experience. Open, safe and non-judgmental.
Online
Call
$2.1/minute
There are wide variety of sexual related issues. Ask, talk about anything;I'm very open and have helped people with large range of concerns from sexual techniques to emotional
Online
Chat
$2.25/minute
Licensed psychotherapist with professional training in human sexuality and sex therapy. Let me help you enjoy your sex life and resolves all concerns regarding sex.