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  1. #1
    Bronze Member
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    Oct 2012
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    232

    Met this girl....she was pushing to hang out, we did...now what?

    I am going to make this as simplified as possible and have to give you a little background on my story before I proceed.

    My ex broke up with me in mid October because she no longer had feelings for me after we had been together for over a year. I haven't talked to her since the break up (a few messages have been exchanged but that's it). I am really starting to move on and actually doing quite well. I think it helps that I haven't seen her at all (she's a senior in college, I'm 2 hours away because I just graduated).

    Anyways, I met this cool girl about 3 weeks ago downtown at a bar. I asked her to dance, we did for awhile and then a few of her friends walked away from my friends (she was with a group of 4, I was with a group of 4 but I did all the talking to put us in a situation to dance together). So I stopped dancing with her to be with my friends but told her I'd be back later in the night. 2 hours later, I ran into her again and danced with her the rest of the night. I asked her for her number and texted her when I got back home. She genuinely seemed interested and was happy I asked for her number (I've gotten a lot of girls numbers before and I can usually tell within the first couple of days if a girl is not feeling the conversation). We texted back and forth pretty much everyday for the next week and she was really pushing to hang out so we did. She lives about 40 minutes from me but drove all the way down to my town. We went out bowling, came back to my place, watched a movie and just enjoyed eachothers company. We ended up making out a little bit and I found a little bit about her past that night. She told me her ex broke up with her in mid October (right around the same time as mine, coincidentally) after they had been together for 3 years or so (If I remember correctly). Not sure if these are red flags.

    She has a few more years of college and is a nursing student so she's got a good head on her shoulders. I'm not interested in a relationship right now but I would definitely like to hang out with her some more. She told me she had a lot of fun with me and suggested that maybe some time I come down and visit her at school. I'm just really confused as to what she wants because the whole week after we initially met she was super flirty and happy and even after we met up again she told me she was going to miss me. She went back to school 2 days after we met up and now it seems like whenever I text her, she isn't as flirty. She isn't bored per se, but she definitely responds with less enthusiasm. To give you an example of what I've been dealing with, I shot her a good morning text and I got a response 2 days later. She told me she was really busy with school (haha) which I kind of believe because she was telling me how stressful being a nursing major is. But then again, I was a math and physics double major and I always had time to respond to texts. I want to make it clear that she always responds to my texts though - one way or another. I've always been the one to kill the conversation (I'm sorry at a certain point I run out of things to say when all I get is a "Yeah haha" for a response).

    I don't know what to make of this whole situation. It obviously wouldn't kill me to learn that she is no longer interested in me but I'd definitely like to hang out with her some more. She's a really cool girl and a really good girl. Hard to find these days.

    As always, I appreciate the input.

  2. #2
    Silver Member
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    Jan 2012
    Location
    Californication
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    32
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    Please...do not use text message responses as an indicator of interest or deciet. Text messages are like email, you don't respond to every email you get as soon as you get it, do you?

    If you want/need an immediate response. Call her. I and many of the people I socialize with, see text messaging as a method to send one-ff questions or communication. But if you want to have a conversation...CALL!



    Ask her what she is looking for right now. That's a grown-up thing to do. You develop a line of communication that isn't just talking about one another or making jokes. You are talking about beliefs, wants and needs.

    Now also you said "I'm not interested in a relationship right now but I would definitely like to hang out with her some more". So you better damn well tell her this. Otherwsie why are you worried about her interest in you? Do you want to be her boyfriend? Do you just want to date, non-exclusively? Do you just want to be friends? Do you just want to have sex? Then talk to her about it. Ask her what she wants or is looking for now.

  3. #3
    Member dreamz's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
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    29
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    Quote Originally Posted by CatchersRye View Post
    Please...do not use text message responses as an indicator of interest or deciet. Text messages are like email, you don't respond to every email you get as soon as you get it, do you?

    If you want/need an immediate response. Call her. I and many of the people I socialize with, see text messaging as a method to send one-ff questions or communication. But if you want to have a conversation...CALL!



    Ask her what she is looking for right now. That's a grown-up thing to do. You develop a line of communication that isn't just talking about one another or making jokes. You are talking about beliefs, wants and needs.

    Now also you said "I'm not interested in a relationship right now but I would definitely like to hang out with her some more". So you better damn well tell her this. Otherwsie why are you worried about her interest in you? Do you want to be her boyfriend? Do you just want to date, non-exclusively? Do you just want to be friends? Do you just want to have sex? Then talk to her about it. Ask her what she wants or is looking for now.
    Thats some good advice. You definitely should call her and see if shes still as interested and flirty.
    Also be clear about not wanting a relationship and see how it goes.
    "There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. "

    "Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. "
    Robert Frost

  4. #4
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    232
    Holden Caufield, I appreciate your input. It's funny because she just texted me about 15 minutes ago. I'll text her back and ask if we can talk on the phone sometime this weekend when she's free because it's easier to see if she's feeling the vibe or not.

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