Hello everyone. Relationship advice requested.
So me and my only serious ex-girlfriend were together for a year after a three year friendship but she ended it in November 2011 and said it was because there was so much going on in her life, I didn't really care since I already knew she was tired of me because I myself tried to change her in ways she couldn't, which pressured her and I see much of the breakup as my own fault and have learned from my mistakes and know that I will not do the same in future relationships with any girls.
I was messed up when she left, it felt as if I had lost a part of me, obviously, since I still loved her when she did.
Anyway, about a week ago while I was at work I got a text message from her apologizing and asking me if I was mad at her and she also asked if I wanted to speak to her once I got home, I agreed and said I wasn't mad at her. I am disappointed, but I didn't say that, I'm guessing she understands since I wrote that to her in an e-mail shortly after we broke up that I felt no anger, I was only disappointed.
We've since then been speaking casually and she has added me on facebook. The first thing I notice when I head over to her facebook page is that she still saved a message from me on her page saying something along the lines of "I love you now and forever." where she replied the same.
In recent conversations, she's been saying things like: "Too bad you weren't here or we could've done this or that."
I've, at rare occasions, been mixing some naughty sentences in our conversations to keep myself out of the friend zone and her feedback has been positive rather than trying to avoid the subject.
Everything just feels so weird right now after no contact for an entire year, I don't want to say something that will ruin my chances with her as I know I have fixed my issues when it comes to relationships and I wouldn't be pushing her away if we ended up being together again.
Worth adding is that she at one occasion said something along the lines of: "I'm not interested in having a boyfriend." But quickly added: "...but that may change..." which gave me mixed feelings, does she mean I have to earn her trust for her to get together with me again or does she just play this game right now to make sure I don't end up in a relationship before her?
If she decided to wake up all the feelings again just as I recovered from the breakup just to be friends with me she can get out of my life, I'm not going to torture myself hanging around for long if we just end up being friends - I'm not staying in the friend zone as that will be too much for me to handle. Either she choose me or she'll lose me in other words, which I'm obviously not going to say to her face as that will pressure her into making a decision she might not be ready for.
I don't feel like a total stranger when I'm talking to her, I actually feel quite comfortable with it after all and she made me laugh multiple times, but I still have this weird feeling in my stomach, I'm guessing it's disappointment.
Any advice on what to do? We haven't spoken over the phone yet, just text.
Thank you for your time.