Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2

    Unhappy I'm in love with her but have no clue what to do!!!

    I have been in love with a girl in my year for more then two years now. I have always loved talking to her and we have amazing chemistry together. A couple of years a go we started texting with a lot of flirtation, and she went through a period where she was always cuddling me and always touching me and giving me majorly flirty looks. It was very obvious she had feelings for me yet i never wanted to believe it because it seemed too good to be true as i am also a girl and the chances of a girl that you like liking you back is very minimal.
    Anyway basically we went to a party and it was clear something would happen between us, and it did, we kissed. But things never developed with us.
    We've spoken about it since and she said she wanted to be with me but she was too scared, which is understandable. And that she's never liked any other girl apart from me.
    The completely frustrating thing is we have had the same dynamics in our relationship for years...when we walk past each other or are in the same room we always make an intense eye contact where it feels like she's looking right inside me, when we dont speak to each other for ages and then speak its never awkward and we just get on like a house on fire, and we are so unbelievably similar it kills me that we've never had a chance to try out being together.

    But my dilemma is she has a boyfriend of over a year who she basically chose over me and she has even told me last year that if i was a boy she would have chosen me instead. Also for the last seven months I have been in a relationship with another girl, but we're not together anymore.
    Whilst being with my girlfriend the subject girl always asked questions about being with a girl and was really interested in it. A couple of weeks a go i slept at this girls house after she got rejected from a night club...and obviously the night included deep drunken chats about our past and we talked about how its so hard to be friends because feelings get in the way and i felt comfortable telling her I used to be in love with her, and we snuggled all night and spent most of the next day together...
    But essentially i have come to the realisation that I'm in love with her still and need to at least try being with her before we all part to go to university....it seems obvious that i should just tell her my feelings but the thing is she never texts me first, she seems always reluctant to want to meet up with me so we never do, and she says she wants to break up with her boyfriend but i just cant see her doing it!!!
    I'm so involved in the whole thing I cant tell if her feelings have ever been as strong as mine, do you think she loved/loves me?
    I really need advice on what to do next...its driving me mad!!

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    San Francisco
    Age
    38
    Posts
    9,050
    Gender
    Male
    I think she's just playing around and having fun and definitely doesn't love you, otherwise she would notice the destructive effect this playing around has had on you and stop that for your sake.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member becomingkate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    49
    Posts
    2,398
    Gender
    Female
    But essentially i have come to the realisation that I'm in love with her still and need to at least try being with her before we all part to go to university....
    Be with her as in sleep with her, or be with her as in date her? What are you looking for with this girl?
    And all these days I spend away
    I'll make up for this I swear
    I need your love to hold me up
    When it's all too much to bear

    And when the night falls in around me
    And I don't think I'll make it through
    I'll use your light to guide the way
    'Cause all I think about is you

    -3 Doors Down

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2
    I've always been her 'bit on the side' and I hate it, i want to be her everything...so have her as my girlfriend...

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member Anne Odaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Nairobi, Kenya
    Posts
    35
    Gender
    Female
    I think she loves the attention from both you and her boyfriend. She doesn't love you. I think you should move one, you'll find someone when you are in university.

Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
If you pretend to be in love with someone and act as if you find them attractive, or otherwise imitate the behaviors associated with being in love, ...
On the Way to the Wedding: Transforming the Love Relationship
by Linda Schierse Leonard
Ever since I can remember I've longed for a soulmate. I was never particularly interested in marriage itself since my parents' marriage was so ...
Creating Love: A New Way of Understanding Our Most Important Relationships
by John Bradshaw
Fifty years ago we entered a new, as yet nameless era. The judges at the Nuremberg trials dealt patriarchy a mortal blow when they ruled that ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Expert Advice

Online
CallChat
$3/minute
Caring professional willing to listen and help whether you're having relationship issues with parents/children/or other loved ones. Contact me now!
Online
CallChat
$1.75/minute
25+ YEARS EXPERIENCE. Intervention specialist and counselor who helps couples and families live well and love better.
Online
Chat
$2.99/minute
Unhappy? Confused? Depressed? Jealous? Angry at your partner? Tired of being misunderstood? Whatever your relationship issues I can help you address them!
Online
CallChat
$4.99/minute
ALL forms of relationship issues addressed. Marriage, Divorce, LGBT, BDSM, Alternative Lifestyle, Online Dating and Relationships, Co-Dependence, Sex Addiction
Online
CallChat
$2.85/minute
Are you feeling stuck, trapped in the same patterns that repeat over & over? Are you feeling angry, alone, unappreciated & unheard? I can help you.