Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 33
  1. #1
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    3,204

    Why do women like a man who takes charge?

    Ok, I'm just playing devil's advocate here as a means to discussion, but I'm curious to hear people's answers on this. I know women will cite their reasons; it exudes confidence, confidence is attractive, etc.. But what I'm wondering, perhaps wrongly or rightly, does it also have anything-in however big or small a way-to do with being able to blame the man if something goes wrong? I'm interested to hear the replies. Ok, discuss.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Victoria66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    47
    Posts
    23,074
    Gender
    Female
    No, it has nothing to do with the man being "to blame" if something goes wrong. It has more to do with the fact that he is reliable.You know you do not have to be responsible for everything. That someone has your back.
    ADHD= Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension. For my son .

    If you judge people you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

    Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me and I will give you rest

    As for Me and My House We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

    Life only goes around once but never again~~Fred Stobaugh

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    london
    Age
    47
    Posts
    6,856
    Gender
    Female
    agree with lady vic ...nothing to do with blame ...

    I can only speak for myself ..obviously ...but I am just perfectly happy been the little woman ..my alfie is the
    first man who took "charge" with love and care and not control and abuse ..so I have spent a lifetime been the provider,
    the organiser , the gaffer ....and you know what ....I was quite happy to sit back and let him take the reigns ..

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Victoria66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    47
    Posts
    23,074
    Gender
    Female
    Yes, to me "take charge"= I care about you. When my husband learned to take charge over the last little while I was THRILLED. It mean't I was no longer a one woman show.Being everything and doing everything is exhausting. I did that long enough. Now he can take over and do it for a while. Now I feel he has my back.
    ADHD= Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension. For my son .

    If you judge people you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

    Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me and I will give you rest

    As for Me and My House We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

    Life only goes around once but never again~~Fred Stobaugh

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    5,297
    I feel wary whenever I see statements along the lines of "Men like..." or "Women want..." because it's a nonsense to assume that any sweeping statement can apply to an entire gender.

    In ALL my relationships, I don't want either to control, or be controlled. This holds true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. I feel very uncomfortable around men who either want to be in charge - telling me what to do, how to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing on my own, all the rest... OR guys who want to sit back and be looked after in a way which is completely inappropriate for an adult.
    Never wrestle with a pig. If you do, you'll both get filthy; the difference is that the pig will enjoy it!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member tvnerdgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,437
    Gender
    Female
    I don't want to be "controlled", or "control" anybody (both have problems in different ways) but it is nice to know that you have someone who can take charge of a situation when things get to be difficult. Now, I am perfectly capable of handling myself...I can live alone and take care of myself and my husband knows this. He knows that if I get hit on in a bar I can handle it without having him intervene or when something difficult takes place I can take care of it. But it's nice sometimes to know that he supports me, and that he would stand up for me if I needed him to. Nothing about wanting to have someone to blame.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Victoria66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    47
    Posts
    23,074
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by nutbrownhare View Post
    I feel wary whenever I see statements along the lines of "Men like..." or "Women want..." because it's a nonsense to assume that any sweeping statement can apply to an entire gender.

    In ALL my relationships, I don't want either to control, or be controlled. This holds true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. I feel very uncomfortable around men who either want to be in charge - telling me what to do, how to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing on my own, all the rest... OR guys who want to sit back and be looked after in a way which is completely inappropriate for an adult.
    Oh for me "take charge" has nothing to do with tell me what to do. Let me explain. This summer I decided where to go for the holiday. He made all the money for it and called all the hotels, he looked for everything, he drove....etc. In previous years I planned where but I also came up with the money, I called all the hotels. I was the emergency man etc. I was the "go to person" for everything. After 23 years of living like that I am exhausted. I was MORE THAN thrilled he took the reigns and wants to participate rather than just be along for the ride.

    That is more what I meant.

    I guess it depends on what "take charge" means to each person.
    ADHD= Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension. For my son .

    If you judge people you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

    Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me and I will give you rest

    As for Me and My House We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

    Life only goes around once but never again~~Fred Stobaugh

  9. #8
    Platinum Member HeatherB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    1,413
    Quote Originally Posted by jul-els View Post
    Ok, I'm just playing devil's advocate here as a means to discussion, but I'm curious to hear people's answers on this. I know women will cite their reasons; it exudes confidence, confidence is attractive, etc.. But what I'm wondering, perhaps wrongly or rightly, does it also have anything-in however big or small a way-to do with being able to blame the man if something goes wrong? I'm interested to hear the replies. Ok, discuss.
    So I can point at him and go "He did it!" if something goes wrong? haha No. I like a guy who can step up when circumstances warrant it. It means he's brave.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    5,491
    Gender
    Male
    I'll limit this to one specific scenario--dating.

    From my own experience, you set yourself well apart from other men by taking control of making plans for a date. A lot of men are very meek and wishy washy when it comes to this and are too focused on approval-seeking behavior. "Well, uh, what would you like to do? What day works best for you? What time will you be ready to go out?" All of this means you're making the woman work just to set a date, instead of simply saying "I'll pick you up Friday at 7:00--have an appetite!"
    Victims are people who have their choices taken away from them, not people who give them away freely.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Victoria66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    47
    Posts
    23,074
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by camus154 View Post
    I'll limit this to one specific scenario--dating.

    From my own experience, you set yourself well apart from other men by taking control of making plans for a date. A lot of men are very meek and wishy washy when it comes to this and are too focused on approval-seeking behavior. "Well, uh, what would you like to do? What day works best for you? What time will you be ready to go out?" All of this means you're making the woman work just to set a date, instead of simply saying "I'll pick you up Friday at 7:00--have an appetite!"
    There we go! I want a man who is using his own brain, not renting mine.
    ADHD= Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension. For my son .

    If you judge people you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

    Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me and I will give you rest

    As for Me and My House We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

    Life only goes around once but never again~~Fred Stobaugh

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
The journal Social Psychology and Personality Science has published a new study according to which individuals who consume organic foods have ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Ben Barry, a modeling agency CEO, has recently conducted a survey in order to find out what kinds of models inspire women to buy their clothes. He ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Eating diet high in trans fats is associated with irritability and aggression, say researchers from the University of California, San Diego School of ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Expert Advice

Online
Call
$3/minute
Caring professional with experience in Personality and Emotional Disorders. Please contact me; I'm here for you!
Online
CallChat
$4.99/minute
I can help you gain tools and skills that will help your relationships with family, friends, co-workers, room mates. I will help you succeed overcoming these obstacles.
Online
Chat
$2.99/minute
Restless? Unhappy? Tired? Confused? Feel like you're not performing at the level you should? Let me help you address your issues in a solution focused way within minutes!
Online
Call
$1.75/minute
25+ YEARS EXPERIENCE helping those who have been labeled with a disorder to help them overcome the limits of their labels. "generously affordable"
Online
CallChat
$2.85/minute
Do you feel trapped in ongoing, unhealthy cycles? Having trouble functioning day to day? Long to feel better emotionally and about yourself? I can help you.