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Thread: Why do women like a man who takes charge?

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    Why do women like a man who takes charge?

    Ok, I'm just playing devil's advocate here as a means to discussion, but I'm curious to hear people's answers on this. I know women will cite their reasons; it exudes confidence, confidence is attractive, etc.. But what I'm wondering, perhaps wrongly or rightly, does it also have anything-in however big or small a way-to do with being able to blame the man if something goes wrong? I'm interested to hear the replies. Ok, discuss.




     


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    Platinum Member Victoria66's Avatar
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    No, it has nothing to do with the man being "to blame" if something goes wrong. It has more to do with the fact that he is reliable.You know you do not have to be responsible for everything. That someone has your back.
    Sept 23/2014 Asperger's diagnosis for my son. " in a box not a bottle"

    If you judge people you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

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    Platinum Member shooting star's Avatar
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    agree with lady vic ...nothing to do with blame ...

    I can only speak for myself ..obviously ...but I am just perfectly happy been the little woman ..my alfie is the
    first man who took "charge" with love and care and not control and abuse ..so I have spent a lifetime been the provider,
    the organiser , the gaffer ....and you know what ....I was quite happy to sit back and let him take the reigns ..
    Look for the gifts in everything, especially when you are facing what appears to be a negative situation. Everything that we attract causes us to grow, which means that ultimately everything is for our own good.

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    Platinum Member Victoria66's Avatar
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    Yes, to me "take charge"= I care about you. When my husband learned to take charge over the last little while I was THRILLED. It mean't I was no longer a one woman show.Being everything and doing everything is exhausting. I did that long enough. Now he can take over and do it for a while. Now I feel he has my back.
    Sept 23/2014 Asperger's diagnosis for my son. " in a box not a bottle"

    If you judge people you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

    Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me and I will give you rest

    As for Me and My House We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

    Life only goes around once but never again~~Fred Stobaugh

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    I feel wary whenever I see statements along the lines of "Men like..." or "Women want..." because it's a nonsense to assume that any sweeping statement can apply to an entire gender.

    In ALL my relationships, I don't want either to control, or be controlled. This holds true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. I feel very uncomfortable around men who either want to be in charge - telling me what to do, how to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing on my own, all the rest... OR guys who want to sit back and be looked after in a way which is completely inappropriate for an adult.
    Never wrestle with a pig. If you do, you'll both get filthy; the difference is that the pig will enjoy it!

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    Platinum Member tvnerdgirl's Avatar
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    I don't want to be "controlled", or "control" anybody (both have problems in different ways) but it is nice to know that you have someone who can take charge of a situation when things get to be difficult. Now, I am perfectly capable of handling myself...I can live alone and take care of myself and my husband knows this. He knows that if I get hit on in a bar I can handle it without having him intervene or when something difficult takes place I can take care of it. But it's nice sometimes to know that he supports me, and that he would stand up for me if I needed him to. Nothing about wanting to have someone to blame.

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    Platinum Member Victoria66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nutbrownhare View Post
    I feel wary whenever I see statements along the lines of "Men like..." or "Women want..." because it's a nonsense to assume that any sweeping statement can apply to an entire gender.

    In ALL my relationships, I don't want either to control, or be controlled. This holds true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. I feel very uncomfortable around men who either want to be in charge - telling me what to do, how to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing on my own, all the rest... OR guys who want to sit back and be looked after in a way which is completely inappropriate for an adult.
    Oh for me "take charge" has nothing to do with tell me what to do. Let me explain. This summer I decided where to go for the holiday. He made all the money for it and called all the hotels, he looked for everything, he drove....etc. In previous years I planned where but I also came up with the money, I called all the hotels. I was the emergency man etc. I was the "go to person" for everything. After 23 years of living like that I am exhausted. I was MORE THAN thrilled he took the reigns and wants to participate rather than just be along for the ride.

    That is more what I meant.

    I guess it depends on what "take charge" means to each person.
    Sept 23/2014 Asperger's diagnosis for my son. " in a box not a bottle"

    If you judge people you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

    Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me and I will give you rest

    As for Me and My House We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

    Life only goes around once but never again~~Fred Stobaugh

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    Platinum Member HeatherB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jul-els View Post
    Ok, I'm just playing devil's advocate here as a means to discussion, but I'm curious to hear people's answers on this. I know women will cite their reasons; it exudes confidence, confidence is attractive, etc.. But what I'm wondering, perhaps wrongly or rightly, does it also have anything-in however big or small a way-to do with being able to blame the man if something goes wrong? I'm interested to hear the replies. Ok, discuss.
    So I can point at him and go "He did it!" if something goes wrong? haha No. I like a guy who can step up when circumstances warrant it. It means he's brave.

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    I'll limit this to one specific scenario--dating.

    From my own experience, you set yourself well apart from other men by taking control of making plans for a date. A lot of men are very meek and wishy washy when it comes to this and are too focused on approval-seeking behavior. "Well, uh, what would you like to do? What day works best for you? What time will you be ready to go out?" All of this means you're making the woman work just to set a date, instead of simply saying "I'll pick you up Friday at 7:00--have an appetite!"
    Victims are people who have their choices taken away from them, not people who give them away freely.

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    Platinum Member Victoria66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by camus154 View Post
    I'll limit this to one specific scenario--dating.

    From my own experience, you set yourself well apart from other men by taking control of making plans for a date. A lot of men are very meek and wishy washy when it comes to this and are too focused on approval-seeking behavior. "Well, uh, what would you like to do? What day works best for you? What time will you be ready to go out?" All of this means you're making the woman work just to set a date, instead of simply saying "I'll pick you up Friday at 7:00--have an appetite!"
    There we go! I want a man who is using his own brain, not renting mine.
    Sept 23/2014 Asperger's diagnosis for my son. " in a box not a bottle"

    If you judge people you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

    Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me and I will give you rest

    As for Me and My House We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

    Life only goes around once but never again~~Fred Stobaugh

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