Today is the day she moves out my heart is filled with both relief and anger and hatred. I feel hurt and abandoned and alone but that is the safest place I know because being alone is where no one can hurt me emotionally. She says that I no longer can be trusted whatsoever and you know what she's the one not to be trusted she is a two face and a liar and never would have been right for me to begin with. After today is over I can finally move on with the peace of mind that this chapter of my life is over and a new one will come about. I am just foolish enough to believe that I could have ever loved her so unconditionally and without regard it pains me to see the true side of her. This relationship was not without purpose and it's purpose was to show me that you can't trust anyone and that you can't give out love unconditionally. I took care of her for almost a year provided for her gave her comfort and gifts beyond measure just so I can see her smile but it wasn't good enough. I think the worst part is that I believed for one second that we could have gone the distance but look who is the idiot now.
Time to gather my pieces and put them all together again the hardest part of this all is going to be when I have to see her for some family events. She is my bestfriends cousin and with it comes a whole mess of problems but I love him like a brother and I just hope that everything will be good. Maybe I can finally let go of everything and move on but the I don't want to be the same person I was before I want to be a new hardened person and when I look back I want to see a person who is better off now then ever before. Thanks for letting me rant and I have a race today and hopefully the challenges in the race will push me forward to becoming a new man.