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When a woman touches you on the shoulder...


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I've been googling this topic and I've been reading mixed thoughts, from men and from women, so I thought hey why not just make my own thread and hear some more thoughts.

 

What does it mean when a woman touches you a man on the shoulder? Is it just a friendly gesture or something more? Would you touch any of your guy friends on the shoulders or only the ones you may be interested in or attracted to?

 

While I'm on the subject, what about when a woman squeezes your arm (bicep) nonchalantly?

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Depends! When I was younger (late teens to mid 20s) I was pretty reserved and would only touch guys on the arm or bicep or whatever if I was interested in them romantically. I was stiff as a board with guys I didn't want to give the "wrong impression" to. As I got older and more comfortable in my skin, I would pretty much touch guys on the arm just to develop a connection, whether romantic or otherwise. It's no fun talking to someone without a bit of a connection after all. Heck I even touch girls on the arm for the same reason!

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Depends on the person. I'm very tactile and tend to touch anyone who looks as though they won't feel I'm invading their personal space. Yes, I'm interested in them as people but it doesn't necessarily mean anything more than that.

 

With someone who's more reserved, it would be far more significant if THEY touched you - so there are no hard and fast rules here!

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Any touch like that is an invitation to further closeness. Some people are more reserved than others, and some people are more flirty than others (without it meaning anything)...

 

but it's a green light to further interaction.

 

Personally? Squeezing a bicep to me is some serious blatant flirting. A touch on the shoulder? Can be anything from a casual "hi" to something more. It's in the overall body language.

 

I wouldn't touch someone on the shoulder if I didn't want to at least talk to them.

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I am moderately touchy.

 

A touch on the arm is pretty meaningless. It is kinda like I am listening or I emphasis. I wouldn't touch you, unless I like you on some level, but that doesn't have to be romantic.

 

Blatant flirting for me? Long touch anywhere on the arm (think like 3 seconds), forearm stroke, and the big guns: a knee touch or stroke!

 

Bicep or arm squeeze? This one is totally mixed for me. A few parts flirting, a few parts trying to get your attention.

 

Generally speaking, more touches or longer touches are a good sign of attraction.

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I'm very touchy and for me, a touch on the shoulder would more of a friendly gesture. It all depends on the way it's done though. If its a long touch , well, it's more of a flirting gesture.

Bicep or arm.. Any touch on these would be considered as a definite romantic touch.

I even touch my girlfriends on the shoulder..

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It depends on their eyes, if they touch you on the arm and shoulders and there’s something in there yes, then it could mean something else. If they have this certain look in their eyes. I do it, I’m pretty comfortable with touching people on the arms or shoulders, so it doesn't really mean anything, unless they or I have something else in our eyes. Which I don't unless it’s with my girlfriend.

Hmm, it could be flirty, again it depends. If you needed comfort or you were upset and she squeezed your bicep then it is more of a reassuring thing, but other than that I'd say it was a flirt.

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I've been googling this topic and I've been reading mixed thoughts, from men and from women, so I thought hey why not just make my own thread and hear some more thoughts.

 

What does it mean when a woman touches you a man on the shoulder? Is it just a friendly gesture or something more? Would you touch any of your guy friends on the shoulders or only the ones you may be interested in or attracted to?

 

While I'm on the subject, what about when a woman squeezes your arm (bicep) nonchalantly?

 

I'm not sure what it means. But unless you're my gf you will know you've crossed a line. I don't like being touched. I think it takes real gall and a lack of social grace to touch someone you are not involved with.

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I'm not sure what it means. But unless you're my gf you will know you've crossed a line. I don't like being touched. I think it takes real gall and a lack of social grace to touch someone you are not involved with.

 

I would disagree. It's not like they're reaching for my groin or copping a feel.

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I'm not sure what it means. But unless you're my gf you will know you've crossed a line. I don't like being touched. I think it takes real gall and a lack of social grace to touch someone you are not involved with.

 

Many people don't like to be touched; it shows in their body language and all sorts of other ways. The social grace comes in when you can sense who's "Hands Off" and who isn't. Sometimes it's appropriate to touch others. It doesn't mean it's with sexual intent.

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it really depends. i think i put off an aloof, "don't touch me" vibe because i don't get touched alot but it happens. Sometimes, it seems like flirting...you can just feel it. Other times, it's just a very emotive person.

 

Nobody should make huge assumptions based on little gestures, but if the touch seems to be really out of place for either the relationship you have w/ the person, or with how the other person normally acts, it could mean something. It's all about deviations from baseline behavior.

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it really depends. i think i put off an aloof, "don't touch me" vibe because i don't get touched alot but it happens. Sometimes, it seems like flirting...you can just feel it. Other times, it's just a very emotive person.

 

Nobody should make huge assumptions based on little gestures, but if the touch seems to be really out of place for either the relationship you have w/ the person, or with how the other person normally acts, it could mean something. It's all about deviations from baseline behavior.

 

Great point. Touching (in a neutral zone) when taken alone isn't indicative of anything. Some people are more communicative via touch than others.

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Means nothing, just a touch on the arm. Here in the US, and in most places, it would just be considered part of having a casual conversation.

 

Seriously? I have never had a casual conversation with a woman, and had her touch me in any way.

 

I've always thought it was a sign they were into you. And it was suppose to be one of the easy signs, since alot of us have no clue what signs are what.

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Seriously? I have never had a casual conversation with a woman, and had her touch me in any way.

 

I've always thought it was a sign they were into you. And it was suppose to be one of the easy signs, since alot of us have no clue what signs are what.

 

It certainly can be an indicator or interest but it can also be a sign of comfort. For example, I have a friend who's sister is very touchy and will often put her hand on my shoulder or touch my arm even though she and I aren't close friends. Moreover, she's married and she'll do it right in front of her husband. Thus, it's certainly not an indicator of interest but rather just a product of her natural personality and her comfort level with me.

 

Another example, I have a female friend in whom im very interested. She has a bf, though. She will often playfully touch occasionally, especially when drunk. One time, which actually surprised me, we were having brunch w/ a few people and she reached over to pick a feather or something off of my face. She's just comfortable with me.

 

The point is, it CAN be a sign of interest but that doesn't mean it is a sign of interest. If it's the only sign, she's prob not interested but if there's some touching, she's not naturally touchy-feely w/ everyone, acts interested in your life, wants to get together, etc., she may be interested.

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Seriously? I have never had a casual conversation with a woman, and had her touch me in any way.

 

I've always thought it was a sign they were into you. And it was suppose to be one of the easy signs, since alot of us have no clue what signs are what.

 

My "I'm interested" touches move from something static to something a little more dynamic, like a stroke on the arm. Or a squeeze. Pretty much anyone, male or female, who isn't creepy will get some sort of touch.

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I just thought it was a pretty good sign, otherwise, why go out of the way to touch someone?

 

I don't touch people during conversations. Espically women, since I don't want anyone to freak out and slap me, or have me arrested because the ugly guy touched them.

 

It sounds like to me, to be so cliche, touch isn't one of your love languages.

 

Look out for the long touches those are definitely signals.

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