Do NOT beg after being dumped

It seems common sense NOT to beg after you have just been dumped by someone, but more often than not, people still beg...and often, in the most emotional, dramatic way. Everyone has a way of grieving and sadness can push you towards behaviour that is uncharacteristic of your normal self. Many won't even consider begging but when dumped, you find them in a crumpled mess, begging for their exes back.

Please DO NOT beg after you have been dumped.......especially if you want any sort of future chances to get back with them. Why?

1. PRIDE AND DIGNITY : The only thing keeping you intact are your pride and dignity. Once dumped, you experience a great sense of rejection and loss. It's like being tossed in the garbage. You feel so worthless but do not forget that you are NOT because you still have your pride and dignity to brush yourself off, walk off with head straight up and start healing. HOWEVER, when you beg, with tears streaming down your eyes, snot clogging up your sinus, heaving and saying things that you wouldn't even dare say, in front of your ex, you are only throwing away your pride and dignity. Nothing is worse than seeing someone without diginity.

2. DUMPER'S GUILT PUSHES THEM TO DO MEAN THINGS : More often than not, dumpers feel extremely guilty for dumping you. So when they see you crying and begging, that sense of guilt worsens. They may feel defensive of their actions which in turn lead them to push you away more. It's human instinct to push something or someone away that is making them feel uncomfortable or bad. Emotional begging pushes them away more. It may seem pathetic that dumpees should ever consider the dumpers' emotions when they are the ones hurting, but many dumpees are willing to do this.

3. THE DUMPER WILL BE EVEN MORE TURNED OFF WITH THE BEGGING : Most of the times, the dumper has already been plotting / scheming a break up scene WAY before you even heard the words " I want to break up ". Break ups are never sudden. There are always reasons that fester for months and months and it only takes the dumper that one straw to finally break the relationship. So, in other words, they have fallen out of love a long time ago. With tearful begging, total lack of dignity and pride and emotional outcries, the dumper will only find you a bigger turn off than you already are.

So, once more, DO NOT BEG. Move on with no contact. Do all the crying and lamentations with people who REALLY support you ( close friends, family ).

When people are hurting deeply, they do things they wouldn't normally do when they're not.

People beg when they're scared. When someone they love has just told them that they do not love them anymore it's as if their heart is being ripped right out of their throat.

When someone is being dumped, the last thing they should be thinking about is the dumper's feelings. Their world is falling apart. Whether the dumpers feels more guilt, or turned off or sees the dumpee as weak. .......frankly speaking that's the dumper's headache.

If the dumper feels put off or offended that the dumpee is acting abnormal because the dumpee's world has just been shattered. Then the dumper wasn't even worth it any way.

Crying, begging,pleading are all actions caused by pain and no dumpee should feel guilty for doing so. Everyone has a right to be weak.

The dumper will do what the dumper will do.... no matter how the dumpee reacts to the break-up.

If the dumper feels put off or offended that the dumpee is acting abnormal because the dumpee's world has just been shattered. Then the dumper wasn't even worth it any way.

 

Exactly. So that's why do not even give them that inkling that you love them so much ( to the point that it's pathetic )....because they are not even worth it.

People will react however they react when they are hurt and it's all normal. I cried, begged, heaved, shook, everything. But I'm not ashamed of it - I have a heart, he broke it, and it hurt.

I am doing much much better now however (NC is full swing!) and I'm putting my life back together and honestly couldn't give two hoots what he thinks of me - it can't be any less than what I think of him.

I am actually glad that I showed and released all those emotions as I think it got it out of my system much faster and I don't have any what ifs

In principle I agree, to a point. Even if you could be level headed you could be seen to not give a monkeys if you acted with total noncholance. I do think most of us would like to be able to go back and alter our reactions to what is life changing news.

You never know how you will react , you can try and be prepared but until that split second you just don't know, especially if you didn't see it coming. Most things are easier with hindsight...