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  1. #1
    Member Jayson4all's Avatar
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    How to increase your chances of getting back with your ex girlfriend (NC) .

    Hey People i would like to share something with you all.

    In an ideal world, your ex girlfriend will call you. She'll be missing you, wanting you back, and phoning you to tell you what a huge mistake she made by breaking up. For any guy who's been dumped, this is your biggest fantasy. Unfortunately though, it's not going to go down that way... unless you take steps toward making it happen.

    Yes, it's true - there are definite ways to make your ex call you. Even if things look hopelessly lost right now, you screwed up big in past conversations, or she's not even taking your calls... somewhere out there is a magical combination of things you can do and plays you can make that will make your ex want to call you up. Or even better, need to call you.

    Getting Your Ex girlfriend To Call You So what's the magic formula for getting your ex to pick up the phone? Well, it'll be a little different for each situation, but a few things will always be the same: Need. Loneliness. Curiosity. These are the emotions you must instill into your ex in order to get her dialing your numbers. And the tricky part? You have to do it without her knowing that you did it. Which means you have to make some very subtle magic happen behind the scenes. To get your ex girlfriend interested enough to want to contact you again, you'll have to gingerly place those feelings in her mind without doing anything directly. Because as soon as you come off as trying to get her back with you, your cover is blown.

    Time & Space... and Why It's So Important to Reconciliation Breaking up is a tremendously difficult thing for most people, because the person who got dumped won't always be thinking rationally. It's easy to want to call your ex all the time, speak your mind, tell her what you're feeling and why it's important to keeping your relationship alive. The trouble is, when you do something like that you're not really taking your ex's feelings into consideration. You're being selfish in a way: by opening the floodgates of your heart and soul, you're literally drowning her with stuff she probably doesn't want to hear right now. Because in the days and weeks after breaking up with you, your ex just wants some space.

    90% of men won't give their girlfriends that space, and that's why they'll fail. They'll be thinking and acting on the fly, and because of that, these women get even more annoyed. As the men push for answers and try to convince their ex's to reverse the break up, they're shoving their girlfriends that much further away. And what's worse, these women don't miss their ex boyfriends one bit. Instead of sitting alone thinking about their decision, worrying if they made the right one, and missing the guys they broke up with... they're fending off unwanted calls and emails of their own.

    Putting Your Ex In The Mood To Hear From You Creating an environment in which your ex girlfriend misses and thinks about you is crucial to winning her back. This is as easy as leaving her completely alone. She wanted a break up? No problem. She wants some space? Time apart? Give her more than she needs. The simple fact is this: most girls who break up with you want you to go away... but not completely away. They still want to see what you're doing, know that you miss and want them and still be "around" in case they change their minds. This is the most comfortable form of break up: one that's one-sided.
    When you know you can get your ex back at any time, you've got no incentive to fix your break up.

    For this very important reason, you need to take that comfortable feeling away from your ex girlfriend as quickly as possible. The one sure way to do that is to not call her, email her, or text-message your ex. don't answer her calls and don't respond to any emails or messages she leaves you. Drop out of sight, out of mind, and out of your girlfriend's life completely.Once you've done this, results will happen rather quickly. Your ex will first wonder where you went,and then wonder what happened to you. She'll ask herself why you've disappeared so suddenly, and she'll question why you don't seem interested in pursuing her anymore.Girls love to be chased - even after they dump you.

    When you don't make that effort to go after them, they question how much you really needed them in the first place (which shakes their confidence) and whether or not you've moved on with your life (which rattles their comfort zone).
    No girl wants to break up with a guy and see him immediately go out and start having fun without her, possibly even start dating someone else right away. But when she doesn't hear from you, this is what she'll think. And fear. And worry about.
    As time goes on and she still hasn't heard from you, your ex will get extremely curious. She'll start thinking of an excuse to contact you, under some pretense that's designed solely to figure out what you're up to. This is when your phone call will come.

    What To Say To Your Ex Girlfriend When She Calls You
    There are a few easy ground rules for the ex girlfriend phone call. The first one: don't be nervous. A simple trick to combat nervousness is to grab something to eat while talking to her.

    Chewing on something while speaking to your ex will always make you seem somewhat distracted, which is always good. You want to immediately give your ex the feeling that she interrupted you doing something by making that phone call.
    You also want to keep that first call very short - three minutes is probably too long. Find out what she wants, make a little small talk, and then make an excuse to go. This adds insecure feelings she might have about you getting on with ur life and dnt care
    Below is a great example of how to talk to your ex when she calls:-

    "Hey, how's it going? What's up?"
    At this point your ex girlfriend will have to tell you why she called. The excuse could be anything - but it doesn't really matter. Let her make it, and follow up with a little small talk,Ask how she is her family etc
    When your ex asks questions about what you've been doing, be extremely vague. And then end the call with something like:
    "Listen, sorry to cut you short but I've gotta run. It was great to hear from you again. If you want to talk some more, give me a call next week or something - but this week's pretty shot for me. Cool?"

    By ending the call yourself, you've maintained total control of the conversation. By being vague, she's wondering what you're doing... and moreover, why it's more important than her. Your ex did not expect you to rush her off the phone, she would be having in mind that you would love to talk to her for HOURS !
    The end of the call is good too, because you've given her the option to contact you again. Notice that you didn't offer to call her - you told her to call you. This puts you in a position of power for the next call... and she'll definitely make that call. Also, you told her to get back to you after next week - which will have her wondering what the hell you're going to be busy with all week long. . . especially since you didn't tell her.

    Your approach to your ex girlfriend's phone call should have a nonchalant, care-free attitude to it. You should act as if she interrupted you, but not like she's bothering you. Like you're happy to hear from her, but not overwhelmed with joy. And when you tell her to get back to you next week, it's not like you're counting on it. It should sound almost as if you don't care whether or not she calls back. Which will, of course, get your ex to call you back. Beyond that initial phone call, your goal will be to make your ex more and more interested in you. Over time, curiosity turns to longing - especially when she thinks she might be losing you for good.
    Eventually this will have your ex questioning her decision to break up with you. That's when your girlfriend will want you back - and best of all she'll come back to you thinking the whole thing was her idea...
    THANKS FOR READING! SORRY ITS LONG!

    For all you people who have made the mistake of contacting and then no contact. stick to this! All you are doing by contacting then not contacting and then over and over, is your making more space and time between your exes! go NC asap!

    AND FOR GOD SAKE! FOLLOW THIS LIKE ITS A LOVE BIBLE OR SOMETHING..YOU ONLY LET YOURSELF DOWN AND REGRET IT IF NOT! GOODLUCK

  2. #2
    Good advice...but one problem...I would like to re-connect with someone I was seeing (she was the one that initally showed interest in me, but it was my fault for the break-up) and i have tried the no contact thing (gave her time and space) and she didn't take the time to message me at all.

    Now its been a couple of months....I have tried the suttle approach as well. Posts on FB doing things with my friends that she wanted to do with me, liking a couple of her posts (but again without messaging her...still trying to keep my distance). Changing my profile pics- hoping she would see me in a different light and wanting to reconnect with the person she originally was interested in. And still nothing!!

    While I agree with your take on women still like to be chased even after they have dumped you, in my case, doesn't seem to work at all. Of course, I do realize the real possiblity that she has lost total interest in me or has met someone else. In that case, Im trying my best to move on and meet new people. But would still like to connect with her.

    If you believe that your approach will work (in my case it hasn't). What else would you do....

  3. #3
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    Hey Jason can you please message n talk to me I need serious help

  4. #4
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    No contact can also help her realize she doesn't miss you enough to reset your relationship.
    But it's true that pursuing her and showering her with your love (and needyness) will turn her away.

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  6. #5
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    I agree NC should happen at some point. Both people need to step back and give each other space, time to sort some things out. Then some sort of LC needs to happen, best if it is from the dumper. If there is no communication at all, then I don't see there being a chance of RC. Lots of variables involved.
    “If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.” - Doug Horton

  7. #6
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    Although it's not an absolute method, I believe he brings up good points.

    I really like how you (Jayson4all) gives us something to work with, in the event our ex contacts us down the line of NC (if she does)

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    I can tell you from experience this is the right way to do things . it's hard to believe in and follow at first , but as time passes you realize it's something that comes out naturally anyway when you actually do move on and become indifferent . so why not avoid making the mistake of staying in contact with her and letting her know you love her from the start?

    Years ago , I broke up with my first girlfriend , and she probably got some good advice because when I came back to check on her a couple of months later , she seemed somewhat happy and back to herself and I had no idea what she's feeling about me . she wasn't the clingy girl I used to know and when we talked casualy without even mentioning the break up , my feelings kinda came back . so I suggested we should get back together , and she said no . and this coming out from a girl I thought will love me forever no matter what I do , was when I realized I lost her and the gates to hell opened.

    And you have no idea what kind of stupid things I did to try and get her back . talking to her , begging for a second chance , telling her I love her , saying i will change , arguing , being jelaous ... at some point I even went all the way to her home with chocolate and a stuffed animal , and that didn't end well at all . so I thought - oh well I did what I could so at least I got a clousure and it's over..right? wrong .

    A while after that she started contacting me and giving me mixed signals , and I was stupid enough to let ehr emotionally affect me everytime by being too excited for every crumb or angry at every little thing she did to annoy me and worst of all - I was depressed. and each time she got an ego boost and was gone again . if I dealt with things in a more non-caring and calm additude I could totally balance things up , but it wasn't until 1\2 a year later after having no contact with her whatsoever , and I actually moved on after a very long time that it took me to get over her . that she contacted me out of nowhere and this time with a silly excuse but I really didn't care anymore (I had a crush on someone else by that time) infact I thought it'd be funny to act like I have no idea who she is . she kept contacting me once in a while and we started to casually talk until eventually she became a bit flirty and suggested meeting up but I just said it's kinda too late and no thanks .

    So this is life for you , one time your up , one time your down , and there is alot to learn from people who have gone through the same thing , or at least , from your own mistakes .

  9. #8
    Member Jayson4all's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Berglynt View Post
    I agree NC should happen at some point. Both people need to step back and give each other space, time to sort some things out. Then some sort of LC needs to happen, best if it is from the dumper. If there is no communication at all, then I don't see there being a chance of RC. Lots of variables involved.
    Exactly, thats my point, if there should be any contact , it should be from the Dumper !!! If you contact the dumper urself, ur are on the chances of going back to square one all over again.

  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoulSilver View Post
    I can tell you from experience this is the right way to do things . it's hard to believe in and follow at first , but as time passes you realize it's something that comes out naturally anyway when you actually do move on and become indifferent . so why not avoid making the mistake of staying in contact with her and letting her know you love her from the start?

    Years ago , I broke up with my first girlfriend , and she probably got some good advice because when I came back to check on her a couple of months later , she seemed somewhat happy and back to herself and I had no idea what she's feeling about me . she wasn't the clingy girl I used to know and when we talked casualy without even mentioning the break up , my feelings kinda came back . so I suggested we should get back together , and she said no . and this coming out from a girl I thought will love me forever no matter what I do , was when I realized I lost her and the gates to hell opened.

    And you have no idea what kind of stupid things I did to try and get her back . talking to her , begging for a second chance , telling her I love her , saying i will change , arguing , being jelaous ... at some point I even went all the way to her home with chocolate and a stuffed animal , and that didn't end well at all . so I thought - oh well I did what I could so at least I got a clousure and it's over..right? wrong .

    A while after that she started contacting me and giving me mixed signals , and I was stupid enough to let ehr emotionally affect me everytime by being too excited for every crumb or angry at every little thing she did to annoy me and worst of all - I was depressed. and each time she got an ego boost and was gone again . if I dealt with things in a more non-caring and calm additude I could totally balance things up , but it wasn't until 1\2 a year later after having no contact with her whatsoever , and I actually moved on after a very long time that it took me to get over her . that she contacted me out of nowhere and this time with a silly excuse but I really didn't care anymore (I had a crush on someone else by that time) infact I thought it'd be funny to act like I have no idea who she is . she kept contacting me once in a while and we started to casually talk until eventually she became a bit flirty and suggested meeting up but I just said it's kinda too late and no thanks .

    So this is life for you , one time your up , one time your down , and there is alot to learn from people who have gone through the same thing , or at least , from your own mistakes .
    Good to know that ur over her and u have a crush on someone else dude. Most girls dont realise what they habe until its gone and too late.

  11. #10
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    I need to knwo what you all think about this post ... Comment below

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