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Short Men at a Disadvantage in Romance


iwishiknew

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It sucks being short! Height does matter a lot!! This is one reason why I never had a date or a gf yet because of my short height. In the video Rob & Stu are the shortest guys and they do not get picked by the ladies because of their short height. Even when they said he is an actor, doctor, millionaire still the ladies did not pick him because of his height. The guy seems out going, confident, good looking but lack of height he does not get picked. This is the same problem I have. I'm only 5'2, probably 5'1 without shoes and I have always been turned down because of my height. I'm outgoing, nice, caring, fun loving but because I'm short I'm rejected, turned down and not given a chance at all. Being short has pretty much runied my chances in dating and getting a gf.

 

 

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I'm only 5'2, probably 5'1 without shoes and I have always been turned down because of my height.

Are you sure about that? I used to think that I was always rejected because I was fat. But now that I'm in pretty good shape, it keeps happening. So it turns out it must be something else...

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Unfortunately it's true, it doesn't matter how nice you are or how much money you have. What you do for a living. Short men do have it rough. They often get disqualified before the conversation even begins.

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Not for me. All my cousins are taller than me, and they never had half the women i have. I am 5'6''. Many of the women i dated never literally looked down on me, some were shorter, some my exact height, some taller. When they crack short jokes, i dont care, i just make a joke out of it. My height did bother me, it still does to a poin,t as i refuse to take off my boots to walk around the house when a women is over because i believe i lose a few inches in height.

 

I have always been my gfs shortest man. My current gfs last two bfs were over 6 feet tall, one was 6' 4'' or something. In my experience, short height makes you look weak, and weak men lack masculinity to some women. Nothing about me is weak, i walk tall, head up, and if i am in a social environment i make sure i am heard and never talked over by other men, some say i can be intimidating. I might not have the vertical strength, but i wont dare let myself look any smaller in other situations.

 

And yes, the only thing i agree with 20/20 is that a taller women might not like a shorter man. All those women looked taller than 5'6'', which made them far taller than some of the dudes they put in their experiment.

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Well I wouldn't be alive right now if all short men were rejected by all women.

 

You are right - some women want a tall man and won't date a shorter man. Recently at my workplace, some of the women were talking about height and one mentioned how she doesn't like short men. Like 5'7. I burst out laughing. 5'7 is short now? Well she is almost 6 feet tall!

 

Meanwhile most of the men in my family are shorties - 5' - 5'9 - and there is no lack of women and babies around. So yeah. Plus you'd have to explain to me why so many of my Filipino friends are rolling in the ladies. lol.

 

Don't let it stop you. This is about as much of a problem as my having a small butt. Yeah, I have been outright rejected based on not having a big enough rear. For some men, it is just THAT important. But so what. Meanwhile there are more than enough men out there who like me exactly as I am.

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Nearly all your posts are about how you can't get a girlfriend. Same thing over and over. Please feel pity for me. Please feel sorry for me. How about a change of pace? How about starting a thread about how you put into practice advice you received on this forum.

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One of the most impressive guys I know when it comes to getting women is a guy who's 5'4". Really charming guy, knows how to really talk to people and get them to laugh. Most of the women he meets are either his height or taller. Now I know you're probably thinking okay well he's 5'4" so his chances are a bit better than yours, but that's not the point because handsome guys who are 5'10" would probably strike out with these girls with the amount of charm they have vs. his. It's a skill to admire in a man and one every man should hone. I should also mention he owns his own business and is athletic as well.

 

While height may matter to some degree, you can work on some of your redeeming qualities. I'm short too and I've worked on just about everything I can work on, either physical or mental, and still continually learning and getting better as a person. I can't work on my height, so I just won't worry over that. Life's not fair, short men are at a disadvantage, but you just have to deal with it.

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Everyone has a disadvantage in something since no one is perfect. You just can't focus on your flaws. It'll come accross in your interactions. If you go into a situation thinking, well she's going to reject me because of my height, then you going in not feeling confident and girls will pick up on that. If you focus on what you do have to offer, you'll go into social situations feeling more confident and attract more people.

 

Seriously though, every single one of us has characteristics about us that we do not like and we could all claim that it prevents us from finding someone. Yet people manage to get together anyway. Stop focusing on the negatives, especially ones you can't change, because it will get you nowhere.

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Eh... height means nothing to some women. Like me. My BF is almost 3 inches shorter than me. He is as tall as he is, and I couldn't care less.

 

Case in point: I am 5'8", and my father is shorter than me. Didn't stop him from becoming president and CEO of the largest satellite/telecommunications company in Canada, or stop him from being appointed head of the Canadian Space Agency. He married my mom, a beautiful woman, and never had troubles getting the girls in his youth. The big difference is... he carries himself like he was 7 feet tall. He is proud of who he is, and knows he is a good, smart, hardworking person. Women (and men) can sense that, and treat him accordingly.

 

No matter how tall you are, how short you are... 99% of it is how you perceive and carry YOURSELF. There are women out there for whom height is a non-issue. Personally, I prefer shorter men. Dunno why, I just do. I am not the only woman on the planet who does, either. There's plenty!

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I preferred men who were shorter than average (not when I was in my teens/early 20s but after that). My husband is shorter than average. He dated women who were taller than him and was fine with it. I prefer to be shorter than the man but I'm 5"2 so that wasn't difficult to find.

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Nothing about me is weak, i walk tall, head up, and if i am in a social environment i make sure i am heard and never talked over by other men, some say i can be intimidating. I might not have the vertical strength, but i wont dare let myself look any smaller in other situations.

 

That is great. And probably how I should act. But, the sad truth is, alot of people look at a short man acting like you act, and consider them to have a complex.

 

If tall men do it, it's considered a good thing. But if a guy who's pretty short does it, they act like it's a problem.

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I agree with the others that it is about the way you carry yourself and your mentality. One of the guys I was most attracted to in my life was 5'7, around an inch taller than me, and he had immense confidence. He also happened to be very good looking, very social, and had a great sense of style. There are other factors, both internal and external, that can "make up for" perceived flaws (in this case, height) ...although, evidently I am not the only girl out there who isn't turned off by short men. Quite the opposite actually.

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I agree with the others that it is about the way you carry yourself and your mentality. One of the guys I was most attracted to in my life was 5'7, around an inch taller than me, and he had immense confidence. He also happened to be very good looking, very social, and had a great sense of style. There are other factors, both internal and external, that can "make up for" perceived flaws (in this case, height) ...although, evidently I am not the only girl out there who isn't turned off by short men. Quite the opposite actually.

 

5'7" is basically average height. I don't think there is any denying that being short is a disadvantage. Most women are reluctant to date someone shorter than them. If you're 5'2", you already are already out of the game with over half the female population. That being said, you can't change your height; your only chance to improve your dating prospects is change the things you can control.

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Don't go to the bar to pick up women. Try volunteering for a cause that attracts a lot of women to it. If its a cause that you believe in, volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters. If you had a grandma/mother/sister who survived breast cancer, that's a good cause. Dog or cat rescue is a good cause for that (they always need volunteers to help organize auctions, galas, or even be someone who volunteers to take dogs or cats to adoption events). Women love it when a guy cares about something and they have a chance to see how funny, nice, and great he is in a non threatening way.

 

Half the short men I know are with women either their height (within an inch) or taller than them, btw. My sister is 6' and her husband is 5'8". She doesn't care. She is used to being taller than everyone anyway.

 

Also, believe or at least act like you are someone who has a lot going for him and is passionate about something.

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That is great. And probably how I should act. But, the sad truth is, alot of people look at a short man acting like you act, and consider them to have a complex.

 

If tall men do it, it's considered a good thing. But if a guy who's pretty short does it, they act like it's a problem.

 

Its just the way i was raised. I dont do anything "forced". I dont have a goodguy image, so no one really thinks i am trying to compensate for anything. I feel a lot bigger than i am, only time i see myself as short is when someone takes a picture and i realize my friends are 4+ inches and up taller than me. I would rule someone as short-man complex if he displays weak traits, but then bursts into some false persona- that to me is compensation, that to me is complex, and i am sure it will be obvious for many.

 

But, in my experience i have never really heard or experienced the short man complex.

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Its just the way i was raised. I dont do anything "forced". I dont have a goodguy image, so no one really thinks i am trying to compensate for anything. I feel a lot bigger than i am, only time i see myself as short is when someone takes a picture and i realize my friends are 4+ inches and up taller than me. I would rule someone as short-man complex if he displays weak traits, but then bursts into some false persona- that to me is compensation, that to me is complex, and i am sure it will be obvious for many.

 

But, in my experience i have never really heard or experienced the short man complex.

 

Weak traits? You mean someone suddenly acting outgoing, while normally being shy?

 

I see a complex as the short guy that is all buff that wants to start something all the time.

 

I myself don't have that complex since i've never had anyone make fun of me for being short....Been made fun of for other stuff, but never that.

 

Just to add about the OP. He has said several times that he has a bone disorder. So this is probably not just about being short.

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Weak traits? You mean someone suddenly acting outgoing, while normally being shy?

 

I see a complex as the short guy that is all buff that wants to start something all the time.

 

I myself don't have that complex since i've never had anyone make fun of me for being short....Been made fun of for other stuff, but never that.

 

Just to add about the OP. He has said several times that he has a bone disorder. So this is probably not just about being short.

 

If someone picks fights all the time, then he has mental problems, more so than a complex imo. But i do get your drift.

 

Weak traits/behavior:

Keeping your head down

Looking away when someone is talking to you

shoulders forward

talking really low or letting people talk over you

being too pacifist, or to a more extreme... being a push-over

lacking social skills

and so on...

 

Dont let yourself drown yourself in social situations, or look physically weak. This stands out, especially for me, since i notice body gestures easy (women are also known to pay attention to this more than men). I always see that guy in the corner squeezed in with his friends who cant get a word in, very dramatic difference from the funny social guy that everyone puts their eyes on when he says something. Even if people still wont get over your height (for whatever reason), other things can hurt your chances further.

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Keeping your head down

 

I've done that since I started walking.

 

Looking away when someone is talking to you

 

I'm not big on direct eye contact. It generally makes me start smiling like an idiot.

 

shoulders forward

 

I slouch.

 

talking really low or letting people talk over you[/QUOTe]

 

I always talk low.

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