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  1. #1
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    Girls/guys that dont initiate contact but reply?

    Now im sure im not the only guy to have this, and im not talking about the girls that dont start texting, convos or IM and reply with bland "ok, yes, no, cya" answers or no answers(because we all know that means one things, im not interested!). Im talking about the ones where you sit scratching your head if she likes you or not. Im sure theres guys out there that dont start convos with girls aswell, so this can go for both sexes.

    Came to mind recently when talking to this girl and she never initiates ANYTHING but yet she replies? Always very talkative and interested in me, asking questions, flirty etc
    She takes awhile to reply few hours sometimes a day, doesnt bother me as im very similar with this, as im busy and tend to like to reply when I have time to sit and think about what im saying rather than a rushed response.
    I suppose it could be down to either her being shy, playing hard to get, dont want to be awkward or old fashion? The guy has to do the chasing and initiating?
    I was the one that made the first move with her to take it beyond a talk in a bar to dancing with her, from a dance to kissing, was the one to get her number and contact her first, and the one to organise a date/dates. Some of which she hasnt been able to make but always suggests another time or date or has a very valid reason with it.
    So from the word go ive been the one to make things happen, or take control.

    So I ask this question, girls or guys why dont you start the contact by text, call, IM etc are you shy, playing hard to get, dont want to embarrass yourself, worried you will look clingy??
    This is actually the first girl ive met like this, im used to girls that typically, they like you, they will start talking to you. Im just very persistent and when I see something I like its very hard for me to stop going after it.
    Dont some girls see that it may be a double edge to this, as some guys may just leave you as they think your un interested or is this a way to weed out those players haha

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Sportster2005's Avatar
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    Generally if a woman is interested she will initiate contact and be engaged. The level of engagement is usually directly proportional to interest. If she seems to be not interested, chances are she's not interested. Not rocket science. You are correct when you state when they like you they will talk to you. The opposite is true. If they don't like you they won't talk to you. If they are giving you little attention, their interest is little.

    If I'm pursuing a woman and she plays hard to get I can't tell the difference between that and her not being interested. And I don't have the time or inclination to play her game. Next.

    Just a thought. What you call persistence may be seen as needy and clingy.

  3. #3
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    Agreed I always see it as both would have similar levels of interest and I can see what you mean by the needy and clingy. I dont text or call constantly Im very open with my contact and spaced but it can still been seen as that I suppose. It is very hard to tell a difference at times with women that play games I agree again.

    Only thing is this girl will be engaged in talking but wont engage the talk which makes it all the more odd, im used to seeing or expecting no contact or a very blank motion of contact that gives a good sign of "yeah, im not interested".
    Ive not really come across girls that arent interested but will continue talking or keep a constant back and forth talk.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member EQ>IQ's Avatar
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    My girlfriend in the beginning did not initiate contact much. So I played it really cool, and would not focus on it too much. Sometimes would get busy with other stuff, forget phone around the house etc. Take a while to reply as well, and overtime we built more and more steady communication. In the beginning texting/phone was mostly to arrange dates. She would always reply to text, but took a while, and didn't initiate much. I called her out on it once.. and she was like.. "well I always replied though!", as if that was all she needed to do to show interest.

    Now its 50/50. She has a very busy life, but always texts at least once-twice a day, and calls me every night before going to sleep, says she likes to hear my voice before falling asleep in bed.

    So I don't know man. I like it also when the girl takes interest in texting/contacting me, but everyone is different. I think to judge a girls interest nothing is better then personal contact. I never had doubts about her interest when we were in person.
    Dancing with my Panther at Midnight

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    With my female friends who do this, I have heard answers from they dont want to put themselves out there, want to play hard to get, or the guy should do all the work or they just didnt feel comfortable initiating conversations.
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine

    "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

  7. #6
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    I'm in a similar situation. Women are so confusing lol I understand what you say about going after something you like. I think we need to just relax, not contact them for a bit, just slow everything down. Well I do anyway
    The harder we fall, the higher we bounce :-)

  8. #7
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Day_Walker View Post
    With my female friends who do this, I have heard answers from they dont want to put themselves out there, want to play hard to get, or the guy should do all the work or they just didnt feel comfortable initiating conversations.
    This. Girls who dont initiate usually have these reasons^

  9. #8
    Bronze Member renewing's Avatar
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    I was thinking when I read this about the responses they give that maybe they just don't like IM! I really hate telephone calls, for instance. When I answer them I try to get off as soon as possible.. Maybe you should suggest just meeting in person and gauge her interest from there.

  10. #9
    Member malvy's Avatar
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    I am one of those persons you're talking about. Most of the times I don't initiate conversations because Im simply not really looking to meet anyone, but I usually reply with certain level of enthusiasm because Im also not really against it. I guess I just prefer to let it happen (meeting someone) isntead of trying to force it.

  11. #10
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    Hey great responses I still text her, taking it slow as we got exams so there a far more important things to take care of right now, the last time I saw her I could tell she liked me and we had a great time. Its more its just odd how people can be sometimes with texting/calling. But I suppose some people there cards close to there chest.
    Friend told me she did it to see how interested the guy was or if they were ****s haha, but she said if she doesnt like the guy she wouldnt reply or just be very blunt with her response leaving nothing for them to reply to.

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