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  1. #1
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    I always make him mad on accident???

    My boyfriend thinks I'm doing things to purposely hurt him or to start fights. The other night, he was in a bad mood from having to deal with some roommate issues. So I asked him if everything was ok and he said it was. Then he started playing a game. But he was still frustrated while playing the game and asked me to take over. So I agreed to take over for him so he could lay down but then when I got up to take his place, he didn't move so I said "Ok, I can take over for you now, you don't have to play anymore." I noticed that he was still frustrated and was clicking furiously so I told him that it was fine and I would take over so he could lay down. He took it as me trying to start a fight and purposefully trying to annoy him. He said it was obvious that I was trying to start something because I asked him if everything was ok and then tried to annoy him by trying to kick him off the game. I told him I just noticed that he seemed grumpy so I asked if he was ok and then I tried to help him by taking over like he asked me to. Then he got mad that I always do things on "accident" and that I never own up and admit that I like starting fights. This scenario has happened quite a few times. Things got really out of hand when he blew up because he thought I was picking my fingers. He had told me the night before that my finger picking habit reminded him of "everything that he hates" and so the next morning I caught myself about to pick my fingers and so rubbed my hands together instead to stop myself from picking. He got really mad because he thought that I did it on purpose to trick him into thinking that I was picking my fingers to make him mad. That time I told him that I wasn't picking my fingers and I knew I was about to so I changed it to just rubbing my hands together thinking that would be better. But he said that's my excuse for everything that I always do everything on accident.

    I'm not really sure what to do at this point. It's frustrating because I HAVE NO INTENTIONS OF HURTING HIM! What do I do? Am I supposed to admit to purposely hurting him when that's not at all what I was thinking?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ToF's Avatar
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    Is this the same guy who tells you that you don't make him happy, and that you shouldn't have dated anyone before meeting him?

    Honestly, I think you should leave him.
    "Yes, you'll have problems. But they'll be your problems. And besides, what would you do without them? The problems are what get you out of bed in the morning. They're what makes succeeding at things such a goddamned rush. You can't be a dragon slayer without dragons."

    [Formerly known as TwistOfate08]

  3. #3
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    I know. I've been thinking of leaving. I don't know why I can't bring myself to do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by ToF View Post
    Is this the same guy who tells you that you don't make him happy, and that you shouldn't have dated anyone before meeting him?

    Honestly, I think you should leave him.
    Last edited by sambal; 04-27-2012 at 01:31 AM.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    Totally abnormal behavior. Hope you escape before he injures you in rage.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ToF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sambal View Post
    I know. I've been thinking of leaving. I don't know why I can't bring myself to do it.
    It's almost never easy. Sometimes you have to make very hard choices, in order to save yourself more pain.

    Do you honestly believe you deserve to be treated this way?
    "Yes, you'll have problems. But they'll be your problems. And besides, what would you do without them? The problems are what get you out of bed in the morning. They're what makes succeeding at things such a goddamned rush. You can't be a dragon slayer without dragons."

    [Formerly known as TwistOfate08]

  7. #6
    You are in what is called an abusive relationship. He is verbally, mentally and emotionally abusing you. There is only so much time before it escalates and you don't want that. Your boyfriend is blaming you for all of his insecurities. Do not be his fall guy because he can't get his stuff together. You need to stop thinking of leaving and just do it. You have no reason to remain with him. However, if you want to remain with him then you need to discuss the problems that you two are having and if he doesn't see where he has a problem then he is delusional. He can't help himself if he doesn't see anything is wrong. If you don't look out for and respect yourself, NO ONE ELSE WILL. You have to learn to put YOU first.

  8. #7
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    Right before reading your post, I was watching on You Tube an interview of Whitney Houston on the Oprah Whitney show. I think it would be a good interview for you to watch because Whitney Houston explains how she got to the point to actually leave Bobby Brown, who was abusive to her. Sadly, Whitney Houston ended up still self-destructing in the end, but in that interview you really see how dependent she was on this guy, who clearly wasn't good for her.
    Your boyfriend sounds like an a$&. If you had a daughter, would you want her to be with a guy that gets pissed if she does something as benign as picking her fingers? I know it is very hard, but you have to muster up the strength and courage to leave this situation. I know how difficult it can be since I've done it myself at one time. But you have to believe in yourself, and realize you're worth more than that. Life can be beautiful, but it isn't when you're walking on eggshells with an abusive creep. Love yourself first and walk away.

  9. #8
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    Honestly it sounds like he's trying to push you into breaking up with him so he doesn't have to be the "bad guy" and do it himself. I think he's the one who is finding ways to pick fights with you about any issue he can find.

  10. #9
    Member Surreality's Avatar
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    From what you've said he soumds like he could get physical later in the relationship. End it now before you feel even MORE trapped.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member bulletproof's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sambal View Post
    He had told me the night before that my finger picking habit reminded him of "everything that he hates" and so the next morning I caught myself about to pick my fingers and so rubbed my hands together instead to stop myself from picking. He got really mad because he thought that I did it on purpose to trick him into thinking that I was picking my fingers to make him mad.
    This is insane. He is clearly a very angry person and he's taking it out on you. Please leave him.
    Free rein! Free rein! Free rein!

    For a minute there, I lost myself...

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