I have been reading on the web about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and have found that my ex boyfriend displays almost all the characteristics of it: self-love, inability to care about others, always criticizing others (he's always right, you're always wrong, end of story) no empathy, appearing all confident but deeply insecure inside, has no emotional attachments, always angry, belittling toward others to create "comedy" and make other people laugh.
I don't really have strong feelings for him anymore, but he is still in my thoughts, in an controlling kind of way. I do not stalk him, in real life or online, but he is still in my mind. I think it is because when we were together he made me feel like I was never good enough and always criticized pretty much everything I did/said. And now I am still trying to sort of gain his approval to just be good enough for him once. I know it sounds disturbing and all sorts of wrong, but please do not judge. I am only like this with him, not with anyone else in this world.
He keeps checking up on me secretly. He visits my facebook frequently but never writes or anything, and visits my blog at least twice a day (which I can track). The last time we talked it was over email about a week ago (he sent the first email, after a few months of silence) and it ended up in an angry message from him once again saying how I am wrong and he is right and how childish I am etc.
I have a feeling after this he will never actually initiate any more contact with me, and this may be the end of this story (he is moving away in a few months anyway) and this thought scares me a little. While he has so many problems with his emotions he also has good qualities that I am afraid I will never find in another guy (intelligent, responsible). He is the kind of person who will never reach out to you unless you reach out to him first and made it very clear in this last email that if I want to talk to him I should be the one initiating conversation, if I want to hang out with him I would be the one initiating it etc.
So how does one deal with this kind of person? Is there any way I can help him out of these issues? Should I try to hang out with him (not as a date) and stay friends with him? I know I'll eventually forget him, and I have no trouble going NC with him, but I don't want it to end that way....If he really doesn't care about me, why does he bother going on my facebook or blog?
He is 28, I am 21, and I was the longest relationship he has ever had (8 months). Before me he had dated many girls but never had a real relationship with anyone. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. Thank you all!