Would like input from men and women regarding my girl friend's dating situation.
We'll call her "Sandy" and him "John".
Sandy's been seeing John for 5 months. She's been out of college for 8 months now & working as a teacher's aid (she's got a teaching degree) which earns very, very little. She also drives an old car that is constantly in and out of the repair shop. On top of paying her 40k debt. John is 9 years older than her, earns about 95k and recently bought a condominium.
John likes 'fancy' dates, i.e. Broadway shows, comedy clubs, fine dining, romantic getaways, etc.
The problem is, she can't afford her share for a lot of those dates. They have done simple things like bowling, movies, skating, diners, etc. in the past, but John tends to lean towards pricier dates. And he's also the type to ask her for her 50%. He has helped her cover the costs of some of those fancier dates, but overall, he wants her to pay her share.
John also lives 1 hour's drive from her. Because she lives with her parents, he insists she drive over to his place. Her car is unreliable & costly to repair. But she always drives to his place.
Recently, he's suggested a trip that would cost around 1k per person. She told him she can only give about $400. She has been very honest about her earnings & has told him flat out she can't afford the whole 1k. He hasn't offered to cover any costs of it.
John's told her clearly that if they were married, he wouldn't mind paying for her trip, or other expenses but since they're just dating, he's unwilling to 'invest' such money.
She's living paycheck to paycheck, and has been refusing to buy some things for herself (like a haircut, purse) because she's saving for future dates.
For the past 2 weeks, she's told me her self-esteem went down because she's having financial struggles & the fact that John doesn't mind wasting $150 on a Broadway show makes her feel even poorer.