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  1. #1
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    How do I stop getting jealous of my girlfriend wearing sexy/revealing clothing?

    I've been in this cyber relationship for almost a year now. We've been talking for almost 2 years and it started when my parents when to visit her parents in California (Im from Buffalo) and she messaged me on facebook. Ever since then we've webcammed and talked on the phone almost everyday. I love her more than anything and can't even imagine being with anyone else. We're planning on finally meeting and seeing eachother this coming March so hopefully everything works out and I do get to see her!

    But anyways lets go to the point.....The other night she showed me this tight black dress that she got for work and likes to wear from time to time. She's a very classy girl and I do trust her completely, but when she put on the dress and showed me it put like a pit in my stomach. The dress doesnt even show any cleavage and isnt short, its just tight and I know guys will go nuts seeing her in it. I dont know what to do or how to get over this. I feel like im wrong because she is the best thing to ever happen to me and i know she would never do anything to hurt me....and i dont want to be too controlling and tell her what she can and can't wear. It just bothers me a lot and i don't know what to do. I'm trying to find a way to get over this but I need help. Like the other night she showed me two bathing suits she was deciding to get and asked me to choose one. That just drove me nuts.....even though I know it's just a bathing suit and im not gonna expect her to wear like a one piece. Any help or advice? Thanks!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
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    First, it is excellent that you recognize that you may be over-reacting. Kudos to you for that.
    Second, How old are you two?
    Third, I think you need to re-frame how you think about this. My ex loved when I wore clothes that showed a little extra skin (which was not often) because as he put it, "Every guy looks at and you but you mine. It's an awesome feeling."
    "Recognizing somebody else's power does not diminish your own." -Joss Whedon
    "Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick [...]"- http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/#ixzz2mOdY2dPO

  3. #3
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    I'm 18 and so is my girlfriend. I understand why you put it that way but I just don't want any guys looking at her like that. Like I can't even imagine whats going through there head when they check her out. I don't know if im just being over protective or it's just the distance between us that's the cause of all this.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    Your being over protective. Men will look at women even when they don't wear tight cloths - I wear loose scrubs at work and constantly get hit on.
    "I am and always will be- the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of improbable dreams." - The Eleventh Doctor

  5. #5
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    Any advice on getting over being so over protective? Like I know I should just let her wear what she wants but how do I help the way it makes me feel? Also as corny as this sounds she is my first love so I think that just has something to do with it.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    It does. And you can't get over it, it's something you will grow out of with time and experience.
    "I am and always will be- the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of improbable dreams." - The Eleventh Doctor

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by ramster135 View Post
    Any advice on getting over being so over protective? Like I know I should just let her wear what she wants but how do I help the way it makes me feel? Also as corny as this sounds she is my first love so I think that just has something to do with it.
    She is with you because she wants to be. If she didnt want to be she wouldnt be. Simple as that.

    When any girl I was with was wearing dresses or heels and was majorly stressing about her clothes I would just tell her "I think you look great" to which she would reply "Im not doing it for you!". Over time I realised she was dressing up to compete with her friends. Mens opinions barely even figure.
    Words to make her stay: you said
    Leave me and the plants die

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
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    You guys are both really young. Like another poster said, as you get older and mature you will feel less over-protective. I will say, DO NOT tell you girlfriend what to wear or you will come off as controlling. You can't stop guys from looking at her. That's just a reality. No matter where she is or what she wears there will be men who are attracted to her. That is just reality. You cannot control that, you cannot control what she wears. Inner peace is really all about knowing what you do have control over and what you don't, accepting that there are just some things you cannot control and letting those things go.
    "Recognizing somebody else's power does not diminish your own." -Joss Whedon
    "Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick [...]"- http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/#ixzz2mOdY2dPO

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moontiger View Post
    You guys are both really young. Like another poster said, as you get older and mature you will feel less over-protective. I will say, DO NOT tell you girlfriend what to wear or you will come off as controlling. You can't stop guys from looking at her. That's just a reality. No matter where she is or what she wears there will be men who are attracted to her. That is just reality. You cannot control that, you cannot control what she wears. Inner peace is really all about knowing what you do have control over and what you don't, accepting that there are just some things you cannot control and letting those things go.
    Thanks your absolutely right. As time goes on hopefully I can mature and get over this. I appreciate everyones advice and comments so far.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ramster135 View Post
    I'm 18 and so is my girlfriend. I understand why you put it that way but I just don't want any guys looking at her like that. Like I can't even imagine whats going through there head when they check her out. I don't know if im just being over protective or it's just the distance between us that's the cause of all this.
    If you can see she is doing this because she wants to gain the attention of other men intentionally I can see where it will be of a concern.
    The matter of the fact is.....other guys ARE going to look, they are going to make 'do want' face, they are potentially going to hit, they may attempt to make you look like a fool in front of your gf.

    Men can be total douches when they see a hot female with a guy.

    Most important thing to do is appreciate the fact your gf has the body and the confidence to wear such clothing.
    Do not ever tell her to skimp down.
    Bad move as it will cause a fight and would most likely leave you dumped.
    Do not loose your cool when a guy hits on your gf while you are with her.
    This will happen.

    You just have to counteract it, by laughing at them or being the one showing them interest which they would have wished came from your gf for example.
    I've done both, the latter made the guy pretty furious.
    Not all guys are like this though, but from what I have gathered the sexier your gf dresses the more douche attention your gf will get regardless of you being there or not.
    Also depends on the town it seems.

    Haters are gonna hate.
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the World will know peace -Sri Chinmoy Ghose

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