Just not sure what to do anymore... don't have a mother to ask of my own, so I'm asking here. What do you do with a daughter that treats you with so little respect, has no consideration of boundaries, swears at you, rages at you, is just plain nasty at you and throws deliberate, nasty comments at you, is ungrateful to all you do, uses you and then acts like you are the enemy. I have tried everything. The emotional outburst from her, even for just a few moments when she is around me is horrifying. So is her defensiveness. It seems all things that are wrong in her life are projected at me, onto me, or just plain acts like she hates me. Our relationship is barely hanging by a thread. She sees NOTHING of what she does or how she treats me, though others do. They only see her "nice" or "sweet" side. She is an adult so little in the way that I can do. Just don't know what to do anymore.... I just know I don't deserve how she treats me and it's just one more thing.
She is 20, lives on her own with her bf and 1 year old from getting pregnant at age 19. She is never, ever wrong. Is verbally and emotionally abusive and has no regard for boundaries. She has rages and rages often at me. I know that her behavior has almost made her and her bf break up several times. But where she doesn't want to lose HIM, she has no problem walking away from ME and not caring how she makes ME feel!!!!
She wrote this on my facebook wall, right after a friend of hers died recently. I thought perhaps this loss might teach her how short life is and that she might come to see how she has been acting with me and appreciate me and me in her life. "I don't think that I tell you this enough but I love you. I am so glad that you have been with me through all of my trials to help me along and I love you very much."-- But no.... even after I watched her son, my grandson, for two days and even had him spend the night so that she could grieve and not have to worry about a 1 year old running around etc. Not only did I really get any thank you for that, but instead got yelled at after the luncheon that day, with her doing her normal storming off and not having anything to do with me crap! She literally treats me like * * * * . And no matter how many boundaries I try to establish with her, she just bulldozes right over them. I don't know WHAT to do at this point other then just not be in her life anymore, which would then mean, not having my grandson either.
My middle daughter says that her sister treats me like her emotional punching bag.
Has anyone else had anything similar to this? What do I do? I am so frustrated. I am presently trying to get all toxic people out of my life, but she feels like SHE is one of them.
She has NO compassion for me anymore. She is cold, heartless, unempathetic and has no real feelings with me. Nothing good anyone. We haven't shared really good feelings together since my husband (her step father) left me. I feel like I am going through de ja vue all over again. This will be my second divorce. (My husband abandoned me 7 months after he married me, I have been seriously ill and he decided he didn't want to deal with it anymore)- in some sort of twisted way--- my daughter seems to be taking this all out on ME. Her real father abandoned her and really has had nothing to do with her at all. She came to live with me when he didn't want to deal with her. (He had the girls for a couple of years after our divorce while I finished school) But she ended up coming to live with me and it was just her and I. I have been with her every step of the way, while HE was NOT and caused her a great deal of pain. Then this other guy came along and it turns out that he is a complete Narcissist. I didn't know this when I got married to him or even what THAT WAS! So between my illness, the fact that my husband that I married after five years together, left me just 7 months later, and then to have my daughter treat me so badly, I am at my emotional end of my rope. I really am. I just can hardly deal with her anymore.
What should I do? I mean really? What do I do?