My ex broke up with me, but still talks to my sister...

Long story short, I dated my ex girlfriend for 2.5 years. 6 months into our relationship I got very drunk and kissed another girl. My ex decided to forgive me, but never really got over this. Around Thanksgiving this year, my ex went through my facebook messages and found a conversation I had while I was on Ambien. Which led to me admitting that I had been addicted to taking Ambien for sleep for a year. She broke up with me and was completely heartbroken that I had betrayed her trust. She called me a liar and a bad person.

For the next month I did something nice for her every week. I shoveled her driveway, baked her cookies, got her a thoughtful necklace, wrote her cards. She began to text me often, and then finally started calling regularly. She said that someday I would be in charge of fixing her broken heart. Then out of the blue she says she would love me to take her out on New Years Eve. I of course obliged.

A week before New Years Eve this year, she surprised me and showed up at my house. We ended up hanging out for two straight days. Made love, had tons of fun. She even invited me to a wedding for the second day. We had fun again. Then the following day, she calls me up and says she can't do this anymore. She doesn't want to try and trust me again no matter how long it takes.

I was of course devastated again after getting my hopes up so much, and rightly so because of how she was talking to me and saying that she was ready to rebuild our relationship from the ground up. And that she loves me with all of her heart (but not her brain...she said).

But alas, she said that she actually doesn't think she can ever trust me again and just wants to move on.

However, she still texts and talks to my sister. Why would she keep in touch with my sister and ask about me?

She's clearly not over you. Probably wants to hear that she Should get back with you someday. That, or she's keeping tabs on you.

Wait, what?

What does taking Ambien have to do with the time you made out with another girl?

You're not telling us the whole story. What was the conversation you had while on Ambien? More importantly, who was the conversation with?

The Time I kissed the girl was a different thing all together. Personally I think that because I was scared of getting too serious with my ex at the time, I may have acted out when I blacked out. I don't know. It was wrong, stupid, and I stopped drinking like that after that, and she knew I did. We decided to move on from that. I can't take back what I did.

The conversation on Ambien was with a random person who contacted me from 'Mexico or Dubai'. They spoke spanish and I don't speak spanish, so I used a translator online to communicate, who knows why...maybe I thought it was cool at first. My translations were not perfect. I don't want to post the whole convo because if anyone who knows me finds it, I would feel absolutely awful and I can't do that to my ex.

Yes I feel extremely guilty for having the convos. The worst parts are (translated):

removed convo because I am nervous about privacy...

See, it was more than just about Ambien

Look, frankly I see you using alcohol and Ambien as excuses to do stuff with other women. I think you should leave your ex alone and enjoy being single.

I understand the logic. I just know myself. I didn't cheat on her after kissing the girl early in our relationship. I've been cheated on in every relationship I've had, so I know how much I hurt her, and how hard it was for her to forgive me for the first incident. I don't expect her to give me a chance, I really don't. And you are correct. I did keep the conversation going after I realized I made a mistake the first night. IDK, I'm upset with myself for ruining this and more upset for causing her so much pain.

Hmmm. Well I'm one to forgive. We all make mistakes. The conversation didn't seem that bad. Weird, but not unforgivable. I've never gotten an ex back. But probably have to do NC, and wait for her to contact you if she does. If you crowd her, or pressure her, you're doomed. So fix yourself and pray for the best.