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Ex lover wants a threesome


Blondiegirl

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My ex have been broken up for quite sometime and we occasionally talk and recently he messaged me on facebook asking if I would participate in a threesome. He already has a partner and they have been dating for 2 months and quite frankly I never knew she would be up for this since she is madly in love with him so imagine my surprise when he asks me if I would like to have a threesome. I haven't had a good shag in over 2 months so I am kinda considering it but doesn't having sex with one ex lover and a new flame complicate things? I know it is every man's fantasy to have a threesome but why would he ask me when he already has a partner? Isn't having sex with one partner good enough why involve me? Perspectives from males or females please thank you.

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My ex have been broken up for quite sometime and we occasionally talk and recently he messaged me on facebook asking if I would participate in a threesome. He already has a partner and they have been dating for 2 months and quite frankly I never knew she would be up for this since she is madly in love with him so imagine my surprise when he asks me if I would like to have a threesome. I haven't had a good shag in over 2 months so I am kinda considering it but doesn't having sex with one ex lover and a new flame complicate things? I know it is every man's fantasy to have a threesome but why would he ask me when he already has a partner? Isn't having sex with one partner good enough why involve me? Perspectives from males or females please thank you.

 

It's not every man's fantasy. That's just what the men who do have that fantasy want you to think so you'll be more likely to indulge them. By making you think that all men want this they are attempting to manipulate you to do what they want you to do. Up to you whether this is your type of thing or not, but don't go into it with false assumptions. Of course it will complicate their relationship as well as your relationship to both of them.

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I am kinda considering it but doesn't having sex with one ex lover and a new flame complicate things? I know it is every man's fantasy to have a threesome but why would he ask me when he already has a partner? Isn't having sex with one partner good enough why involve me?

 

Honestly it depends. I know people who have an open relationship and have sex with whoever but always come back to each other so to them its ok and works. And it isn't every mans fantasy for a threesome, some are for it and some are not. He could be asking you for the comfort aspect. If you all think you can go into this and not cause to much tension or emotions then I say go for it. However there is a good chance I think everyone won't feel right about it and jealousy could break out so be careful.

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I suppose curosity is what is really intriguing me. She could very well be bi and it might be her fantasy to have her way with me and my ex. I mean I am quite attractive not to blow my own horn or anything but I am very attractive and his new girlfriend is average. I know my ex still has fantasies about me. I would be willing to bet he said I really want to shag my ex and then she said only if we have a threesome.

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I suppose curosity is what is really intriguing me. She could very well be bi and it might be her fantasy to have her way with me and my ex. I mean I am quite attractive not to blow my own horn or anything but I am very attractive and his new girlfriend is average. I know my ex still has fantasies about me. I would be willing to bet he said I really want to shag my ex and then she said only if we have a threesome.

 

I don't know anything about your back story of how you broke up with your ex or if he broke up with you. But do you think its possible that the reason you're considering it is just a subconscious way of trying to prove to your ex that you are better than his current girlfriend? In your last statement you did imply that you are better looking than his current girlfriend, which means you have at some point compared yourself to her, which means you 'may' still have feelings for your ex.

 

Also, I don't know how open of a relationship you have had with your ex boyfriend prior to him being your ex or now, but if you are more attractive then his current girlfriend and he is the one who asked you if you are up for the threesome then it could be he still fantasizes about sex with with you over his current girlfriend, which could cause a lot of problems with his current girlfriend. And you may just be a tool utilized to open up the problems within their relationship.

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It was a complicated break-up. He was going back to school and said he was trying to find himself and in the meantime while he was away at school he managed to meet the new girlfriend in one of his classes they have been dating for almost a month now. He talk here and there and as I said he messaged me on Facebook saying I know this is an odd question ( please bear with me) and said would you have a threesome with me? I paused for a second and thought wait what? Mind you it was at midnight and I was half asleep so I said maybe I have always been curious and then he didn't message me back for the longest time and said well if you are game we can definitely do it very,very soon. I have no feelings for him whatsover except sexual feelings. I always wanted secretly a shag partner but we never really discussed that and as far as I was concerned I thought he was happy with her so when he contacted me for a threesome I admit I kinda got excited because I haven't had a good shag in quite sometime and I have seen different movies involving threesomes and have thought about it because I am still young and want to say hey I did it so I thought of a threesome does intrigue the heck out of me.

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If he is an ex, and you are fairly certain you are done with him (adios romantic feelings); for you it's probably a "safe" threesome.

 

I could see it being more complicated for the couple involved.. But if you are done with him, then it shouldn't effect you too much..

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Maybe he is worried about diseases and what not and I am certainly in the clear. I suppose it is better shagging someone you know rather than someone you find on the internet or something and if his girlfriend is okay with it I suppose by all means..... I have no more romantic feelings for him those went out the window when he left for school.

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  • 2 months later...
Shockingly I never heard anymore about it. He just wanted to probably test me and see if I would participate. I messaged him last night just to wish him a safe holiday and do I hear anything back? Nah......

 

Shockingly, you never heard anymore from him. Wow OP, you are pretty naive about this. You traveled down a long mental road and got yourself all worked up over nothing. Here is the truth as I see it. He was mildly horny and saw you on FB that night so he floated a little fantasy scenario. There never was a 3some and never will be. Do you really think his new girl would be into that so soon, especially with his ex? The guy was just playing with you and he sounds ethically challenged.

 

You mention several times that you need a good shag, well, go and get one! The threesome very rarely lives up to the fantasy. People can develop shyness, have performance anxiety, begin to feel jealous, etc. And not to mention the fallout afterwards. One of the party can decide they want to pursue an ongoing affair in secret. The complications are staggering.

 

My suggestion is to just go find a new guy for a bit of fun. If you are as attractive as you say you are, it should not be very difficult. Leave you ex behind and stop worrying about if he still fancies you and fantasizes about you. You need to stop the lust as well. It is over and he has a new relationship.

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  • 3 years later...

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