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  1. #1
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    Ex said to 'never contact her again'. Does the mean it?

    My ex girlfriend got upset this week when I contacted her. Said to never contact her again, to leave her alone, and that she doesn't want to hear from me anymore. But she also said she misses me as a friend and would rather have a friendship/communication on 'natural terms'. Conflicting ideas, to me. Our breakup is not exactly 'fresh'. It's been long and messy. Is she just angry and needs a few months? Or does she mean what she says?

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  3. #2
    Platinum Member Furbys's Avatar
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    If she has asked to be left alone then respect that and do so.

  4. #3
    Gold Member Sim54's Avatar
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    Who knows?
    Best to assume she means it and move on.
    If she changes her mind, she'll let you know.
    It's rare that 'never' means never again. Life isn't really good at never, and forever.
    But you can't change her mind, or do anything that will pull her back towards you, except let her go and move on.
    My ex got really angry with me and told me she didn't want any more contact.
    That was just over a year ago.
    She wrote me 2 weeks ago as she's going to be near me and wants to catch up.

    So, time passes and things change.
    But it's been a long time.
    I think that if you are REALLY committed to healing a relationship, then you have to be totally committed to implementing sustained growth in your life; healing your hurts, and developing strong character- me.

  5. #4
    Gold Member Flyingpiglet's Avatar
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    Whether she meant it or not, she said it so you should honour it.
    Probably best for you both, especially at the present moment
    Don't hold strong opinions about things you don't fully understand.

  6. #5
    Gold Member eternalsunrise's Avatar
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    You should honor her request of not contacting her. If she doesn't mean it, then she will contact you later.

  7. #6
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    Her telling her not to contact her makes me want to send her even more texts. I guess because now, I officially am not supposed to. Anyone else ever experience this?

  8. #7
    Gold Member Flyingpiglet's Avatar
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    No contact is always tough, but you will do yourself no favours. You will only antagonise the situation if you contact her now.
    Don't hold strong opinions about things you don't fully understand.

  9. #8
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    Who knows with these people. My ex of almost three years ago just contacted me recently and we had not spoken since the break up!! He was really rude about it and mentioned that we could chat or "be good friends eventually." I told him that to me a break up is final and to show him I understood he didn't want me around anymore I made sure to never contact him again.

    I bet after a long amount of time passes she will come around or contact you out of curiousity. For now, try your best not to contact her because she's being dramatic.

  10. #9
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    My ex said this to me. Said she hates me, never talk to her again, all kinds of rubbish. I was 20 days NC when I received a message saying she missed me and "doesn't want to not talk" (FYI it was a breadcrumb and I didn't bite). I think anything said during times of frustration can just be written off as emotional.

    At the end of the day, who cares. She knows whether or not she wants to be with you and right now she doesn't. EVEN IF you get a message saying she misses you, chances are something has happened to her that is making her feel at a low point and she needs some emotional support. Tomorrow will likely be a different story. Let her go.
    I wake up in the morning and piss excellence.

  11. #10
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    I don't think she hates you, but she just needs to take care of herself and reset her boundaries for now, so respect her and honor her wishes.

    When my ex and I ended things, he continued to contact me to extend the olive branch, legitimately wanting to be friends. I was happy he would call or text, and I would look forward to the next contact, but I found myself crashing after we would talk; I'd leave feeling confused and all the feelings would return. I would analyze things -- did he want to make things work? did he want to rebuild together? if we just did XYZ things could work? etc. and I would get confused about my goals and whether I was working to get back together with him or working to get over him and get on with my life. So, if you aren't calling this person in hopes of getting them back, then do both of yourselves a favor and stay away so you don't send the wrong impression.

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