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Why would she start acting so cold towards me?


delancey

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Hello All! Hopefully you remember my little novel about this girl whom I have been dating for a few months. Basically, she has been very flaky - everything should always be on her terms (she is a my way or the highway kind of girl). I would need more than 10 fingers to count how many times she has flaked on me or changed our plans. One day she is totally into me, but the next she makes me feel like she isn't interested AT ALL. We have seen each other 10-11 times now.

 

 

 

We have been working together on a project lately, but I only feel like she is interested in seeing me when we have work to do. Then, out of the blue, she will ask me out (i.e., bring a bottle of wine and let's have a picnic, or let's play tennis today).

 

Last night after work, we went out together to meet some of her friends (she invited her guy friend, too, who is actually an attractive guy, and he seems to be very into her). I was frustrated, and since I like her, I felt nervous. I didn't say a lot to her that night, and she basically ignored me the entire evening. Wt f? The only attention she gave me was when a girl (mutual friend) started talking to me at the bar (she came between us and sat the girl down at our table). Someone asked us how we met, and she responded "on Facebook" when in fact we met on an online dating site. I teased her about that!!

 

Long story short, she basically ignored me the entire evening. We didn't even kiss good night (and we have kissed a lot). Her interest level must have been 1/100. The ending was very awkward, for her "guy friend" dropped me off at my car, while she stayed in his car for a few minutes. I had a cigarette by my car hoping she would come over and kiss me good night. Nothing! She just stepped out of the car and basically ignored me.

 

When I got home that evening I did a Hail Mary and sent her the following text:

 

Me: I really like you, Blueberry Muffins. I think we should have a romantic date this weekend. I have a great idea."

 

Her: Oh really? What is it?

Me: Oh a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell

Her: Oh yeah?

Me: So is that a yes for our romantic date?

Then I just sent her a song and told her it reminded me of her.

 

 

NO RESPONSE!!!

 

 

I just feel as if though I have allowed myself to get emotionally invested in this girl, and she is not into me like I am into her. She is hot, the, she is cold. I am thinking that I should just back off and let her contact me if she is into me AT ALL!

 

 

What do you guys think?

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Move on - she just isn't interested and you are wasting your time.

 

Yesterday, during the day, she asked me if I wanted to play tennis with her (plans got cancelled due to us running out of time). But I agree, she is taking my kindness and affection for granted. And last night, she was really ignoring me. I don't know - I think my best bet is to move on and find someone else.

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So did this come accross as desperate? (Hence, we have seen each other 10-11 times, and we have kissed a lot).

 

Me: Me: I really like you, Blueberry Muffins. I think we should have a romantic date this weekend. I have a great idea."

Her: Oh really? What is it?

Me: Oh a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell

Her: Oh yeah?

Me: So is that a yes for our romantic date?

 

 

Then I just sent her a song and told her it reminded me of her!!!!!

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Anyone that is "my way or the highway" needs to be on the highway. Relationships and dating is a give-take situation. Not all take, that's not fair and and the taker knows that.

 

This girl doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you. That is wrong. As soon as that other woman was talking to you she swooped in to make sure nothing developed. However, when she has the hots for someone she make sure she has alone time to pursue those interests.

 

The text exchange should be the last blow to your ego. Don't be her "nice guy" or "Plan B'. You're going to get burned, she's already heating up the oven.

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Anyone that is "my way or the highway" needs to be on the highway. Relationships and dating is a give-take situation. Not all take, that's not fair and and the taker knows that.

 

This girl doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you. That is wrong. As soon as that other woman was talking to you she swooped in to make sure nothing developed. However, when she has the hots for someone she make sure she has alone time to pursue those interests.

 

The text exchange should be the last blow to your ego. Don't be her "nice guy" or "Plan B'. You're going to get burned, she's already heating up the oven.

Yes; this is very true. We are going to see each other one more time (so that she can pay me for my services). I am not going to make a bigger fool out of myself that I already have. I have never been strung along like this before; next time a girl like this comes along, I am gonna cut her loose right away so that I don't get emotionally invested....

 

Did my last message come accross as desperate to you too?

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Walk away man... seriously, don't waste another second on this girl. I know, easier said than done. It sounds like this girl likes a challenge, and well, your challenge factor has warn off. She knows she's got you hook, line, and sinker.

 

If she texts you, give it a day or two to marinate before you reply. There's a good chance it might have the opposite effect, and she'll be chasing you again. But from the sounds of it, you're out of the game.

 

Ride off into the sunset with your head up... and in 2 weeks, you'll think back and laugh about it a wiser man.

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I shouldn't have sent her that darn song last night- now she really knows that she can treat me however she wants to and be rewarded for it!

 

She's known that from the very beginning. This is the same girl who lied to you about being sick to cancel a date, then showed up out at some event, right? Most people would have ended it then, but you "rewarded" her by continuing to see her. Like people told you 3 threads ago, she already views you as a doormat. That's the dynamic you established by excusing her bad behavior from the start.

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She's known that from the very beginning. This is the same girl who lied to you about being sick to cancel a date, then showed up out at some event, right? Most people would have ended it then, but you "rewarded" her by continuing to see her. Like people told you 3 threads ago, she already views you as a doormat. That's the dynamic you established by excusing her bad behavior from the start.

Yeah, I am just going to move on... it's just life and there will come better times!!

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Yeah, I am just going to move on... it's just life and there will come better times!!

 

Don't just say it man.. mean it.. Your indecisiveness has killed you all along with this girl. Take your first steps as becoming a more attractive make my meaning what you say.

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Thanks Dubb! The only reason why I have been so indecisive with this girl is because she has been giving me mixed signals. Not cool!!! After having shown her my sensitive side and sending her that song, I don't think I will have a problem with mixed signals anymore!!! haha!!!

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I went out last night with a friend of mine, and these two pretty girls came up to me and said that I look like Prince William. We took a picture (I was in the middle holding both of them). I posted the pic on Facebook, and she responded within 5 minutes of posting it! I responded the next day describing the picture to her (on Facebook) and she never responded.

 

I just feel like I want some type of closure ( I know she is going to continue to string me along like this if I don't set the record straight.

 

"Hey name! I really like you, but I feel like I am putting in more effort getting to know you. Please tell me if I should back off cause I don't wanna get emotionally invested in you if you're not into me."

 

That should give me a straight answer, right?

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So what if she responds that she does like you but keeps acting the same way? What closure would that give you?

 

You summed up perfectly Ms Darcy. OP, I've been in that scenario before (the one that Ms Darcy explained) and boy it sucks even more!

 

Even after sending that note, she will still string you along. Instead just tell her you liked her company but you don't feel that she is on the same page as yours when thinking about relationships. You need someone who is more emotionally invested. Then let her pursue you rather than opposite.

 

And to be frank if you want closure then simply ignore her (I know its really hard if you are emotionally invested). But thats the best closure you can have.

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Done; thanks Dubb!

 

I think I just need to ask her straight up - that way, I know, and if she isn't into me, I can move on, and it will make me feel better. We have mutual friends, and she keeps sending me bread crumbs here and there, which is leading me on. She knows I like her (I sent her a text saying I really liked her a few days ago, and that we should plan a romantic date this weekend, followed by a nice song lol).

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