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  1. #1
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    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    16

    Question I 'm in an ldr and my girlfriend has become depressed

    I've been going out with my girlfriend for 10 months today . But since the beginning of September she moved to London from Ireland . I've know her for years and it felt right and like the best thing in the world when we started going out . Everything went great the whole way through .Tbh the only time we d fight was during a certain time of the month which she d tell you herself. i went to visit her a week after she left and it was great , we d lots of fun as always . But when it was time for me to go to the airport she wanted to come with me to the airport and I let her thinking it the norm . we ended up staying i the airport over night because I didn't really research it well. when it was a few hour from my time to go she broke down and begged me to take her with me. She was only there a week . She s taken outta big loan and the course lasts for 2 years .I know she cant afford to drop out and besides at the end of the course she gets her dream job. So I put her on a train and sent her back after i calmed her down a bit first . She cried the whole way back on the train , I wasn't there to see this but know . since then we've fought once or twice a week and nothing i do cheers her up . if i ve done something with a bit of excitement she loses it and gives out and then starts on about breaking up . Even as simple as watching a dvd . we text all day only stopipng when she runs out of credit and I generally top her up . but I haven got a text or text her properly since yesterday and I broke up with her on Sunday outta anger, but quickly regretted it and appologised . She doesn't want to live any more .We're still together but she wont get help and I'm too far away to make her . Its down to her to do that but she wont listen. I've tried everything from here and I want to go over but she says not to because its too hard when I go .I haven't held her in a month so i really miss her , then u ve this thing on top . she s to be home in 2 weeks from now, but I don't know how much more i can take. She's even given me set things what we are only allowed talk about. she doesn't sleep, she doesn't eat. Her friendships over there are streched but still surviving and she hasn t told her family back home , because I've talked to them because I'm worried and it only seems like it s with me. She has never been like this with me. I cant keep going on with no hope , its like I'm beating my head again the wall. she admitted to be depressed , but not a time line because if it those feelings go over 2 weeks your meant to go to the doctor but she ll have none of it . So I'm meant to be on to fight with and listen , but we dont talk about us or the good times and she doesn't keep the conversation flowing. Before ye say i haven't paid her enough attention i get up at ten to 7 every morning to talk to her before she goes to uni and i go to work and on for the evening when i get home every night and dont go out so nearly all night saturday and all day sunday . But it s still not enough and i know i m not having enough sleep to function myself . but she gets worst if i go to bed early any progress we make is quickly lost. But with her fishing for a fight and everything else its very hard not fight back. I love this girl, want to marry her but wont survive 2 years of this. does anyone have any ideas ? Please

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    7
    Hey, I have just moved to uni and my boyfriend has become depressed. From reading your post I would suggest going over to visit her as soon as possible, don't tell her if she tells you not to. Once there spend a day or two lifting her spirits. Once she is feeling a bit better, take her to the doctors. My boyfriend went and was given some tablets, not anti-depressants but something to help take away the nervous and sick feeling. It has helped a lot, he is now capable of getting through the day without breaking down and talking to him about how he is feeling is much easier. It's a really hard thing to go through, especially long distance, you feel so helpless, and with you having to support her constantly, who is there for you?

    I hope this has helped a little bit?

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    16
    Thanks it has. Things are going a lot better now. I'm still at home so ya know i ve got work and people who ve been there my whole life around me. Thanks though

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