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  1. #1
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    Why do some men get so attached so quickly?

    After telling her personal things? After that he expects there to be some "bond."

    I was sitting in the lunch room, this same guy comes by me while I'm trying to enjoy my lunch. He assumes because I don't smile (I'm eating and would not like to be disturbed) I made no eye contact with him because I was eating and reading. He sees me and grabs a chair. I actually want to be alone. He assumes I am upset with him because I am trying to enjoy my lunch, and because I don't welcome him in a loving way. but why would I? I barely know this guy and I don't know what he expects from me. He then is delusive thinking that I am angry or upset wit him. Even though i told him I'm not upset with him. He starts getting whiney and pushes me to tell him what he did. I was only trying to enjoy my lunch. What's this guys problem? Why Is he attached to me so soon, I don't even fkng know him? I don't get it the guys ive experienced get TOO attached! why!?! Is he what people call, a stage 5 clinger? He literally starts whining and giving me his twisted perception of how I must be upset with him because I am not receptive to him - why would I be? I'm eating. and trying to enjoy my alone time for crying out loud? I told him 2 times I wasn't mad and he still whines and says I am. I don't get it. Do these types have some
    psychological issue?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reflective View Post
    After telling her personal things? After that he expects there to be some "bond."

    I was sitting in the lunch room, this same guy comes by me while I'm trying to enjoy my lunch. He assumes because I don't smile (I'm eating and would not like to be disturbed) I made no eye contact with him because I was eating and reading. He sees me and grabs a chair. I actually want to be alone. He assumes I am upset with him because I am trying to enjoy my lunch, and because I don't welcome him in a loving way. but why would I? I barely know this guy and I don't know what he expects from me. He then is delusive thinking that I am angry or upset wit him. Even though i told him I'm not upset with him. He starts getting whiney and pushes me to tell him what he did. I was only trying to enjoy my lunch. What's this guys problem? Why Is he attached to me so soon, I don't even fkng know him? I don't get it the guys ive experienced get TOO attached! why!?! Is he what people call, a stage 5 clinger? He literally starts whining and giving me his twisted perception of how I must be upset with him because I am not receptive to him - why would I be? I'm eating. and trying to enjoy my alone time for crying out loud? I told him 2 times I wasn't mad and he still whines and says I am. I don't get it. Do these types have some
    psychological issue?
    Thats sign of insecurity, it shows that the man is uncomfortable in his own skin and is starving for affection, aka needing to find a women to attach to in order to feel complete.
    Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Mesemene's Avatar
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    In a case like that, I'd tell him "I just wanted a quiet lunch. While your world revolves around you, mine doesn't, and I'm entitled to a little quiet time without being accused of blowing you off just because I want that quiet time."

    And yeah, sounds like he does have issues - but they sure don't have to be your issues

  4. #4
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    I'd say most men would attach and attempt approach easily?
    That is nature. Males are like that, we are not the ones who would get pregnant.

    Then women cannot do is be fooled by that. Attractive men seem easy to get, but it is hard to keep.
    Women on the other hand may be hard to conquer, but once they fall in love they tend to be in for a longer relationship?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
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    This guy has been trying to create positive interest with you but keeps on messing up and freaks out when you do not want to talk to him.

    As a response to the title.
    Some men get a date once every blue moon, and the efforts they may have made may seem only tiny steps from the recipients point of view, but are like taking leaps of faith for them.
    Because they worked so hard by taking the step to potentially get rejected (which is never fun) they end up being very attached because they do not want to have to go through that again.
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the World will know peace -Sri Chinmoy Ghose

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Generation's Avatar
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    If you had said hi to him when he walked in, he would've came and talk to you about crap you wouldn't want to hear..
    If you did what you did, he whines and clings on.. hahahahaha!


    Anyhow, yeah he's really insecure about himself, and would be a stage 5 clinger if you were dating him. But because you're not, he's at stage 2.

    Infact, there are a lot of guys (that I know) who are like this. I'm gonna generalize a bit, but they're real downers and usually develop a negative view when it comes to women later on. They don't go on a lot of dates, and hardly hold down any relationships. They're like lost souls. They have no confidence because everything that they do gets their confidence shot down because of the mentality that the world is against them, like you said when you were just eating your lunch and he thought you were mad at him.

    But it also depends on the woman these men are dealing with too. If they've led the guy on, well, can't really blame him entirely. That's just their growing fondness from the affection of being led on.



    EDIT: I don't like calling it "psychological issues" cause that makes it sound like something is messed up with him, or there's something wrong with his brain, but it's not really like that. All it is 'is that he has low confidence and self esteem issues, perhaps with communication as well, but he's not a psychological mess in any way.
    Last edited by Generation; 09-23-2011 at 01:35 AM.

  8. #7
    Silver Member sjjohnson89's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reflective View Post
    After telling her personal things? After that he expects there to be some "bond."

    I was sitting in the lunch room, this same guy comes by me while I'm trying to enjoy my lunch. He assumes because I don't smile (I'm eating and would not like to be disturbed) I made no eye contact with him because I was eating and reading. He sees me and grabs a chair. I actually want to be alone. He assumes I am upset with him because I am trying to enjoy my lunch, and because I don't welcome him in a loving way. but why would I? I barely know this guy and I don't know what he expects from me. He then is delusive thinking that I am angry or upset wit him. Even though i told him I'm not upset with him. He starts getting whiney and pushes me to tell him what he did. I was only trying to enjoy my lunch. What's this guys problem? Why Is he attached to me so soon, I don't even fkng know him? I don't get it the guys ive experienced get TOO attached! why!?! Is he what people call, a stage 5 clinger? He literally starts whining and giving me his twisted perception of how I must be upset with him because I am not receptive to him - why would I be? I'm eating. and trying to enjoy my alone time for crying out loud? I told him 2 times I wasn't mad and he still whines and says I am. I don't get it. Do these types have some
    psychological issue?
    In short, yes he sounds like he has psychological issues. What youve got to try and understand is that how you process things in your mind is obviously not how he processes things in his. What he is doing is taking your 'cold shoulder' approach which is you just trying to enjoy alone then processing that as some kind of rejection, he is taking it personal thinking its something he has done. I suspect when he questioned what hed done first you were blunt and stone faced saying that you want to eat lunch alone and hes done nothing, he is for some reason expecting a more emotional response therefore perceiving there to be a problem. The reason why he is expecting an emotional response i dont know, maybe he believes you two to be more friendly than it is from your side of the table.

    He might just simply like you but carries a lot of issues making his approach to being friendly awkward and out of hand. Or, if you know 100% that there is no way that you two could be in a spot right now that could be considered friendly and he is taking it as such, then, that is more of a cause for concern.

    It is a sign of insecurity emotionally yes, not sure of himself and is not putting on the front that most guys do of 'pretending' to be sure of themselves. You sound angry at him though, maybe this is because you feel pestered, but, if you had this tone before he sat with you for lunch then ive got to admit if i thought i was friends with someone and they gave me the cold shoulder saying they want to be alone i would feel there is something wrong and likely would look to myself first. But, taking into account what you say, he sounds like a very emotionally unstable guy who likely needs help because being that emotionally responsive to someone you say doesn't know you is not healthy. I would suggest being pleasant with him though, for, i doubt he means harm and youve got to look at things from his side, how he must feel inside going by your description of him.
    "Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something." Plato

    "There are many things in life that will catch your eye. But only a few will catch your heart." Ben Crenshaw

    "Rational judgments repeat rational judgments. Irrational judgments lead to new experiences." Sol LeWitt

  9. #8
    Silver Member Voguester's Avatar
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    I've never encountered a guy like this ever! I thought they were a myth :P It seems that I'm always the one chasing them...I'm dying to come across one of these men who get attatched too soon lol

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Generation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voguester View Post
    I've never encountered a guy like this ever! I thought they were a myth :P It seems that I'm always the one chasing them...I'm dying to come across one of these men who get attatched too soon lol
    No you're not!
    I'm a male, and I thought the female equivalent was a myth, and like yourself I wanted to come across one myself. WHAT DID I WISH FOR?!

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voguester View Post
    I've never encountered a guy like this ever! I thought they were a myth :P It seems that I'm always the one chasing them...I'm dying to come across one of these men who get attatched too soon lol
    No you dont trust me. lol! I'm an Aquarius so this behavior PUTS ME OFF so much!!!!

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