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Thread: No Contact Rule..how to initiate it.

  1. #1
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    No Contact Rule..how to initiate it.

    Well me and my ex broke up almost 2 weeks ago. She was the dumper and it was a bit of a mutual break up although I did not want it to happen. But she did say after we have both found ourselves and gotten better and crossed paths down the road she would really want to get back together as we had something good the only problem we had was really that we just needed time right now to find herself, i am ill(lung cancer) and depression and she has her own life going on. We don't talk but she does go on my blog about 9-10x a day,(which i have stopped blogging now) I believe she is also in a rebound relationship at the moment..yes this soon, she is dating and filling the void of having affection and love and w.e else. I still have her on my bbm, now because it was a mutual break up im a little worried to delete her off, but cant start my healing process because she updates her statuses and pictures. Im a little in fear that she may gain power and it'll be easier for her to move on. What do you guys think?? Do I delete her without telling her? and will this help the process of maybe having her back sometime down the road? or will i be helping her situation?

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    She dumped you while you have lung cancer? Wow!

    So sorry you are struggling with that and the person who is supposed to be there for you flaked on you. I wouldn't ever want her back.

    Anyway - how to implement NC. In this case I would just block her and if she manages to contact you in some way don't answer. if she has any common sense she will know why.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Mesemene's Avatar
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    Be simple and straightforward.

    If you feel you should tell her - short and to the point - it's hindering your healing process, and you need to focus on yourself.

    Don't use it as a door to establish contact, and don't let her use it as a safety net. Make it gone.

    Either she'll move on or she won't - it honestly won't matter if you make it "easier" or "harder" if she's really interested in a reconciliation. The only thing you control is how hard you can make it for yourself - so take control of that, and take care of your health issues with all of your attention. You felt she deserved your focus while you were with her - don't you deserve at least that much from yourself?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DN View Post
    She dumped you while you have lung cancer? Wow!

    So sorry you are struggling with that and the person who is supposed to be there for you flaked on you. I wouldn't ever want her back.

    Anyway - how to implement NC. In this case I would just block her and if she manages to contact you in some way don't answer. if she has any common sense she will know why.
    Totally agree!!!

    You deserve to have people around that love and support you! Block and delete! Forever!

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mesemene View Post
    Be simple and straightforward.

    If you feel you should tell her - short and to the point - it's hindering your healing process, and you need to focus on yourself.

    Don't use it as a door to establish contact, and don't let her use it as a safety net. Make it gone.

    Either she'll move on or she won't - it honestly won't matter if you make it "easier" or "harder" if she's really interested in a reconciliation. The only thing you control is how hard you can make it for yourself - so take control of that, and take care of your health issues with all of your attention. You felt she deserved your focus while you were with her - don't you deserve at least that much from yourself?
    Well said.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member endy's Avatar
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    Read and check out the guide (pdf) in my signature. It even gives a sample of a NC letter.
    "If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.

    -Thich Nhat Hanh

    "Out of a fear of the unknown people prefer suffering that is familiar"

    - Thich Nhat Hanh

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    She is not a catch at all. I would delete her from everything. Focus on you and your healing, positive people that want to be around you can help you heal, and I am not only talking about the "healing" from a break-up.

  9. #8
    Gold Member ChellyV's Avatar
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    Delete her and do not look back. Go NC and try to heal, physically and emotionally.

    You do not even have to tell her that you will be initiating NC. Whether she agrees or not will not hinder the act, so do so for your own good.

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