Wish him a happy birthday?

Should i wish my ex a happy birthday? im in NC and its been 3 weeks .Does it break NC?

Yes it does.

No you shouldn't.

You only want to say happy bday to see how hes doing.

Be honest with yourself.

Yes it does.

No you shouldn't.

You only want to say happy bday to see how hes doing.

 

Be honest with yourself.

A birthday is not an excuse to break NC.

It will do no good and only set you up for further pain depending on the reply or lack thereof.

Do not wish him Happy Birthday. Feel free to peruse my started threads. I started one about my ex's birthday about a month ago and got some good responses.

A birthday is not an excuse to break NC.

Thats what I'm saying??

If i want to try to get him back then? shouldnt i remind him of me in some way?

It's a nice gesture but do you think he would of texted you on your birthday? I read your last post. If he can so easily break up with you, blame it on distance, then essentially want to erase you out of his life (deleting facebook thing), well he doesn't deserve your 5 seconds to type him happy birthday.

If you want to try to get him back then you're on a different path altogether.

The first thing you should do is repair thr damage done by the breakup.

This takes time and by time I mean tine alone. (without him)

You need to rediscover yourself first then see if you really want him back or if you're just hurt by the breakup and want the pain to end.

Theres a huge difference in wanting him back and wanting to feel better.

I think NC is a tool to heal and feel better.

It can be used to provoke interest from the dumper but is not recommended as it can be dangerous for you.

Saying that, here is a key to provoking interest.

If he expects an action from you then do not act.

It's that simple.

I wouldn't say anything on his bday as it will probably be read as "she misses me" no matter what you write.

Just forget about living for him and try to get on with your own life for now.

When you feel better you can make a proper decision on wether you really wanna try to "get him back".

Ps... Just consider the sentence "get him back"

It's not right Hun.

If you have to force or trick someone back then it will never work.

They should want to come back on their own.

The only way you achieve that is to be the you they fell for in the first place.

That means healing and NC.

On your own!

Good luck and try to see the sense in things.

Emotions are cloudy right now.

Well, no contact has never been a tool to get someone back, it's to heal yourself. If you REALLY want him back, one of you will have to break down and contact the other eventually. But contact after 3 weeks seems a tad premature. Trust me when I say he can't have forgotten you after that little time.

I'm in a similar position...well, ish. We have been trying to go no contact but I've always broken it over the past month. I sent him a text the other day asking if I should post his birthday gift or deliver it in person...dumb idea. No response. So I sent it just yesterday. He should receive it on Monday, his birthday...

So I dont know whether I should send him a text to say happy birthday too. Because I feel bad that he's be upset if I didnt, even though he's treating m like crap and ignoring me even though he knows Im in the depths of despair...man, just talked myself out of it. I've already spent money on a gift for him and he is treating me like nothing. Done. no text.

Well, no contact has never been a tool to get someone back, it's to heal yourself. If you REALLY want him back, one of you will have to break down and contact the other eventually. But contact after 3 weeks seems a tad premature. Trust me when I say he can't have forgotten you after that little time.

Well all my friends say if you want him back his birthday is your chance to break the NC,,when comes my next chance? Christmas? hmm...or i can just write him in a month or two asking "whats up" ? but that's maybe weird

He knows you know it's his birthday and he knows you will be thinking about him. It won't surprise him at all. It will show him more by not being there for him, than it would by you trying to get his attention. If you do send him a message be aware that you may not get the response you want, or you may not get a response at all. I went through this with my ex, her birthday was just a couple weeks after break up, I decided not to do anything, and she ended up calling me two weeks later.

I really don't think you should contact him for his birthday, it's still breaking NC which will make you seem weak and give him an ego boost. He needs to understand what it's like to not have you around, and if you try to use his birthday as an excuse, what will you try to use next time? You need to draw the line, for you and you only. Don't worry about him he is not in your life anymore.

Well all my friends say if you want him back his birthday is your chance to break the NC,,when comes my next chance? Christmas? hmm...or i can just write him in a month or two asking "whats up" ? but that's maybe weird

How long has it been since the breakup? What issues led to it? Have they been resolved or is there a real hope of resolving them? Is he seeing someone else?

Those are all thing to consider before contacting him.

Congratulating someone on their birthday is just decent. I do not see what's wrong with that. As long as you keep it nice and simple I'd send him a text message. A 'Happy birthday! Have a nice day' will do.

If you really want to, we can't stop you. Just say happy birthday, hope you have a nice one. If he doesn't say anything back or even start a conversation then don't push it any further.

I posted this in Forum: Healing; Thread: Is it immature to not respond to ''polite'' texts from the dumper?

Didn't your Ex say he played and fooled you?? If so, then no, I would not send him a Happy Birthday text. It's as if your relationship together was just some big game for him. NC is the way to go

Didn't your Ex say he played and fooled you?? If so, then no, I would not send him a Happy Birthday text. It's as if your relationship together was just come big game for him. NC is the way to go

If this is true then absoutly don't contact.

Formalities are one thing but I don't think they have a place here.

Didn't your Ex say he played and fooled you?? If so, then no, I would not send him a Happy Birthday text. It's as if your relationship together was just come big game for him. NC is the way to go

Yes but that was during our fight and we both said terrible things to eachother,i guess i wont wish him anything right now

If this is true then absoutly don't contact.

 

Formalities are one thing but I don't think they have a place here.

I started the fight(but my words were not as hars as his!) and he has tried to contact me since then(once),,but you are right i wont contact him tomorrow!

I started the fight(but my words were not as hars as his!) and he has tried to contact me since then(once),,but you are right i wont contact him tomorrow!

I know it feels weird right!

But, honestly, you just gotta look after yourself now.

He'll know you're thinking of him.

And he may contact you to say hey.

Or try to fish contact from you somehow.

Just stay strong and live your life.

No contact's like dieting in a cake shop.

You gotta stay strong coz you know you'll regret it if you take a bite.

No matter how tempting it looks.

Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk you down.

Did you find out what he contacted you about? Everyone here is so gung-ho about no-contact like if it fits every situation. Those that break-up suddenly due to a huge event like a fight, or something said, have a higher chance of getting back together. Its those long prolonged problems that go on for a long time that builds up and builds up that one person really breaks up with you BEFORE they actually break up with you. Those are the ones that are hopeless, because you will be fighting several months of a thought pattern about getting rid of you, as opposed to something that happened during a fight that lasted only 5 minutes.

If you ignored his text, then you wont know what he wanted. Just like people say dumb things and dont mean it, is the same way someone act crazy and breaks up. I broke up with my ex and it lasted 20 minutes, she broke down to me, and i revealed that i didnt know what i was thinking, that its too much fighting and i need to get out, but that i do love her and dont really ever want to leave her. Well, she dumped me for real a year later, and i chased, if anything... just to get it out of my system, to know that i tried and i can look better and shrug and say, "well, now i know NOTHING can bring her back." -Believe it or not its easier to get into NC when you exhausted every possibility.

he just asked "how are you?" i replied "im ok thanks"(no questions) and nothing more

he just asked "how are you?" i replied "im ok thanks"(no questions) and nothing more

How long has it been since the last contact? Did he text anything after this?