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Thread: Looking to have our first threesome-need advice on finding 3rd party and how to

  1. #1
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    Lightbulb Looking to have our first threesome-need advice on finding 3rd party and how to

    My boyfriend and I were recently discussing our fetishes and fantasies and I came out to him that I am bisexual and he came out that he's always wanted to have a mff threesome. I have never had one and wasn't even sure how to do it (positioning etc.). I've looked it up online and found some positions I like and some great advice such as setting boundaries ahead of time ( my rules are, pay more attention to me than her and no penetration with her). The main issue is how to find another person. We met a girl at a video game store that we both think is pretty cute, so we are going to try to get to know her and hope for the best. Another possibility is a mutual friend of ours. She's bisexual and I've had a crush on her for a while. Austin (my bf) thinks she's beautiful as well. She's always asking me about my sex life with Austin and suggesting things for he and I to do. She's very kinky. I told her we were going to try to have a threesome and she asked me to tell her how it goes when we find the right girl. I'd like to ask her, but she's a co-worker. In fact, I am a cashier, my bf works on the lot there, and she's a head cashier. That would make it so wonderfully kinky if things go right, but could definitely be an issue if things go wrong. However, since she is a good friend, I trust her more than I would someone we don't know as well (important especially for things like stds) and she has a very serious boyfriend that she is very much in love with so I'm really worried about her trying to take mine since she's happy with the one she has.

    I should also add that I know threesomes can lead to jealousy and awkwardness, etc. However, we are in a point in our relationship when we are very much in love and I believe that we are ready and that this could be a positive thing for our relationship as we explore our sexual side.

    So,
    1. How do we find the right one?
    2. How do we ask when we find one we like?
    3. Any additional advice about threesomes (other than "don't do it" and "you're boyfriend is a pervert for wanting two women")?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Oneironaut's Avatar
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    You might try Fetlife.com. You'll have to sign up, but I've had an account there for almost 2 years and have had no issues at all in terms of viruses or spam.

    If you live in or near a bigger city, that site can point the way to finding groups and clubs of like-minded people.

    Good luck.
    "Dark obsession in the name of love,
    This addiction that we're both part of,
    Pulls us deeper into mystery,
    Keeps us craving endlessly..."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oneironaut View Post
    You might try Fetlife.com. You'll have to sign up, but I've had an account there for almost 2 years and have had no issues at all in terms of viruses or spam.

    If you live in or near a bigger city, that site can point the way to finding groups and clubs of like-minded people.

    Good luck.
    Thank you. Does the fet stand for fetish? If we have another fetish as well, could we find a threesome partner who's into that as well? Also, how do you know if the people on these sites have STDs or not. I am really worried about that. I am way too young to end up with HIV and never able to have sex again. I have an extreme fear of STDs.

    I'll check it out though.

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    Platinum Member Oneironaut's Avatar
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    Yes, the fet does stand for fetish. My boyfriend and I have them, too...lots of them.

    As for STDs, I would recommend getting to know someone first, as with any sexual situation. And that's where a club or group may help. Some even go as far as to have their members tested for STDs, so they can "play" safely.

    Good luck, I hope it helps.
    "Dark obsession in the name of love,
    This addiction that we're both part of,
    Pulls us deeper into mystery,
    Keeps us craving endlessly..."

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  6. #5
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    I went to the site, but it was asking me a lot about S and M type stuff. Is it only for that, because my bf and I aren't really into that. Are there any other sites like that where you don't have to be into bondage? Thank you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oneironaut View Post
    Yes, the fet does stand for fetish. My boyfriend and I have them, too...lots of them.

    As for STDs, I would recommend getting to know someone first, as with any sexual situation. And that's where a club or group may help. Some even go as far as to have their members tested for STDs, so they can "play" safely.

    Good luck, I hope it helps.
    Oh I like the idea of ones that test. How do you find them?

    I am recently opening up to my fetishes and I agree, they are SO much fun. Austin is helping me to embrace my kinky side. I have recently discovered that I am a furry, I like hetai, I have a foot/shoe fetish and am for the first time opening up to the idea of a threesome. I look forward to exploring more fetishes and fantasies and seeing what else I like.

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    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    Another possibility is a mutual friend of ours. She's bisexual and I've had a crush on her for a while. Austin (my bf) thinks she's beautiful as well. She's always asking me about my sex life with Austin and suggesting things for he and I to do. She's very kinky. I told her we were going to try to have a threesome and she asked me to tell her how it goes when we find the right girl. I'd like to ask her, but she's a co-worker. In fact, I am a cashier, my bf works on the lot there, and she's a head cashier.
    Bad idea to involve a co-worker in your private sexual fantasies at home, IMO.
    Carly, don't be sad
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    Don't be afraid
    Carly, don't be sad
    That's your destiny, the only chance
    Take it, take it in your hands



    Well behaved women rarely make history.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BellaDonna View Post
    Bad idea to involve a co-worker in your private sexual fantasies at home, IMO.
    I do worry about that part. That's the real pain in the arse of it all is that otherwise she's the perfect one. Also, what does IMO stand for?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    Sorry, IMO= In My Opinion.

    Some compartments of life should be kept seperate I think. You may want to keep sex and work seperate, although it seems she already knows too much.
    Carly, don't be sad
    Life is crazy, life is mad
    Don't be afraid
    Carly, don't be sad
    That's your destiny, the only chance
    Take it, take it in your hands



    Well behaved women rarely make history.

  11. #10
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/arc...sful-threesome

    If you don't already read savage love, you should start! Dan Savage is a great sex advice columnist, he has TONS of articles on this topic.

    And I agree that getting your coworker involved can get dicey. depends on your jobs though - if you are a cashier at a fast food place, and don't mind getting new jobs if things go horribly wrong, then go for it.

    I think that ground rules are very very important.
    There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



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