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  1. #1
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    I can get hard and then while having sex penis will go soft.

    I just got recently engaged after 4 years with my fiancee. I am 27 years old. For the last 2 years, I have been able to get erections but during sex it will go soft sometimes. I just don't understand why sometimes I will have a rock hard erection and other times it will be just hard and then go soft during sex. I do go soft usually when I do doggy style standing up. Occasionally it will happen when she is riding me or when I am on top of her. I tend to notice it happens when I pump hard resulting in me feeling really hot and sweaty. When I go soft, sometimes I can't get hard until the next day. It is really frustrating. I have been to the urologist to get some tests done. Blood flow was normal as well as testosterone levels. I don't get sexually stimulated easily, and I don't think about sex nearly as much as I did years ago. Getting erect was really easy a few years ago but it takes longer now.


    I still masturbate pretty frequently because my fiancee and I are in a LDR, don't yet have our own apartment yet. Could it be that I masturbate too much? Anyone else have this problem? I did have a history of high blood pressure. I live a very active lifestyle playing American handball, basketball, lifting weights, sprinting, and softball.

  2. #2
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    Do you smoke, drink, exercise, get enough sleep.. there are lots of factors.

  3. #3
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    I don't smoke.
    I don't drink, only when I go out occasionally.
    I exercise almost everyday for more than 2 hours.
    My sleep pattern is irregular. Sometimes I will sleep 10 hours. Other times 5 hours, 2 hours, 7 hours. It is never consistent. Most times I sleep at 4 am.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ForumGuy's Avatar
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    I've had that problem before and I know it is because I simply don't enjoy sex very much. Seems like a chore to me and always has. I would much rather just get my woman off with my mouth and be done with it.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
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    I get this way if I have sex too frequently.
    Last time I recall having erection problems was when I was having sex for two weeks straight in at least fours hour sessions.
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the World will know peace -Sri Chinmoy Ghose

  6. #6
    Member DeadbySunset's Avatar
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    Well Evillink you are not alone (as the website name implies). I have this problem as well when I am with my wife. I am 26 years old and have been with my wife for four years. I can get hard, but when it comes to sex, it falls flat. Oh yeah by the way, I don't smoke or drink and I exercise not as often as you but I am not that out of shape. As one other poster said, I don't really enjoy sex that much. It was great when I first did it and I used to do it four times a day with my ex g/f. Now I kind of just burnt out on it.

    In the past, I taken some male performance pills to keep me hard. They work to a certain extent. I would recommend some form of male enhancement pill. It doesn't have to be Viagra. If you go to any sex shop, they have pills at the counter. They usually work.
    Life is hell, but then you die.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evillink88 View Post
    I just got recently engaged after 4 years with my fiancee. I am 27 years old. For the last 2 years, I have been able to get erections but during sex it will go soft sometimes. I just don't understand why sometimes I will have a rock hard erection and other times it will be just hard and then go soft during sex. I do go soft usually when I do doggy style standing up. Occasionally it will happen when she is riding me or when I am on top of her. I tend to notice it happens when I pump hard resulting in me feeling really hot and sweaty. When I go soft, sometimes I can't get hard until the next day. It is really frustrating. I have been to the urologist to get some tests done. Blood flow was normal as well as testosterone levels. I don't get sexually stimulated easily, and I don't think about sex nearly as much as I did years ago. Getting erect was really easy a few years ago but it takes longer now.


    I still masturbate pretty frequently because my fiancee and I are in a LDR, don't yet have our own apartment yet. Could it be that I masturbate too much? Anyone else have this problem? I did have a history of high blood pressure. I live a very active lifestyle playing American handball, basketball, lifting weights, sprinting, and softball.
    You are fine. Repeat. You are fine. It is just the ebb and flow of being a sexual male. Not every time is date night at the senior prom. Just relax and try to stay in the moment. Whatever happens is great. 90% of sex is mental and you will not make things better by getting stress over this. Remember that sex is supposed to be fun. Dial back the anxiety and focus once again on the fun. You will be okay.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evillink88 View Post
    I did have a history of high blood pressure. I live a very active lifestyle playing American handball, basketball, lifting weights, sprinting, and softball.
    High blood pressure is most likely the problem. There are two factors here. One - high blood pressure will prevent the smooth muscles in the penis from relaxing, as well as prevent arteries that supply blood from dilating. This kills your erection. Almost 50% of men age 40-80 with high blood pressure have erection problems. Two - the drugs to treat high blood pressure wreak havoc with erections.

    If you're having consistent problems like this at 27, it's NOT just the usual male jitters. It's physiological and it will probably get worse, not better, unless you fix it now.

    Your doctors will probably recommend sensible diet and exercise in conjunction with drugs. But if I were you and only 27 years old, I'd go all the way extreme. Go to a strict Ornish diet, including the stress relief and meditation parts. Do that for at least a year, it will also drop your cholesterol through the floor. Most doctors don't recommend it unless you ask them, because it takes a lot of discipline to follow.

  9. #9
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    It's probably all in your head. I remember years ago, about 25 yo, it happened with a one night stand. After that I thought about it non stop so for months I would bring a girl home and have an issue. Somehow I got myself to put it in the back of my mind and just like that I was back and going full throttle. Good luck, and stop thinking about it.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Dragunov-21's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evillink88 View Post
    My sleep pattern is irregular. Sometimes I will sleep 10 hours. Other times 5 hours, 2 hours, 7 hours. It is never consistent. Most times I sleep at 4 am.
    That's what's done it for me in the past. If I'm running on empty (be it food or sleep) it's hard (or rather, not).

    Funnily enough, being acutely tired does exactly the opposite.
    Having another playmate to share in your problems is comforting, but that's not an excuse to find problems that aren't there.

    People make bad choices/mistakes. Big ones. Whether or not a relationship is still healthy depends entirely on how that mistake is dealt with afterwards.

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