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  1. #1
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    How do you know if you are physically attractive

    Weird question but how do you know, for a fact that you are physically attractive?
    My main issue within myself is that I do lack self esteem, underneath the shallowness I don't have much of it, although I fake it to make it if you know what I mean.

    People tell me I am attractive physically, "cute" "pretty" "goregous" but is that not all relative? I mean not everyone finds someone attractive. Right? I just have a very difficult time accepting this. I don't know why, I can't wake up and just accept "Hey you know what, I'm really attractive, if I can get men to ask me out on a random basis, if I can do nothing and have men act oddly around me etc." It's a major complex I have, and it seems that as I age the more attractive I seem to get from what people tell
    me. Regardless it's hard to accept seeing how I am my worst critic and don't believe none of it at all.

    So I am curious, how do you know when and if you are physically appealing/attractive? I've had people tell me I have a good personality etc but it's still hard to see. I mean, do you necessarily have to be asked out in general by guys/girls?

  2. #2
    Gold Member elcie's Avatar
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    Why are you asking this question? Are you having problems with attracting someone, despite being told that you are physically attractive?

    If that is the case, then perhaps your own lack of self esteem is the problem. If you can learn to be happy with the person you are-both inside and outside-then I have no doubt that you will have no problem attracting someone, And when that happens you will no longer have to worry about whether you are attractive or not.
    "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

    - Oscar Wilde

  3. #3
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    <removed>

    With women attractiveness is a combination of looks/age. So by definition you can't look better with age. Unless you lost 50 lbs. as time went on which is unlikely. Most men tend to have the same judgement of who is or isn't attractive. Women's opinion of men's attractiveness varies wildly and is very subjective. The opposite is not true. As for your popularity complex. You can be good looking and not asked out too often. Being asked out is often a measure of how easily approachable you are. I dread going up to a gorgeous woman and asking her out. Guys
    Last edited by HeartGoesOn; 08-23-2011 at 04:12 PM. Reason: Removed personal information

  4. #4
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    dont even try if they don't think they stand a chance. If you can convince them otherwise I'm sure you'll increase the hits you get.

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  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by elcie View Post
    Why are you asking this question? Are you having problems with attracting someone, despite being told that you are physically attractive?

    If that is the case, then perhaps your own lack of self esteem is the problem. If you can learn to be happy with the person you are-both inside and outside-then I have no doubt that you will have no problem attracting someone, And when that happens you will no longer have to worry about whether you are attractive or not.
    I don't have a problem attracting people. in fact I notice I attract more male attention when i don't want to. not sure if that makes sense. I just generally don't believe I am physically attractive despite being told that.. I guess that's due to my poor self esteem..

  7. #6
    Gold Member elcie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reflective View Post
    I don't have a problem attracting people. in fact I notice I attract more male attention when i don't want to. not sure if that makes sense. I just generally don't believe I am physically attractive despite being told that.. I guess that's due to my poor self esteem..
    Is there a reason for your poor self esteem? If you are told you are good looking and don't have a problem attracting people then there may be underlying reasons for your lack of self esteem that may have nothing to do with your physical appearance. You may already know the answer to this.
    "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

    - Oscar Wilde

  8. #7
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    do you know what/how can make you believe your attractive? getting asked out by guys on regular basis? and dont you have it? but you said you attract male attention?
    and what makes you dont think your attractive? you cant manage to get a bf or what?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
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    You are as attractive as you can make someone think you are. You are on the right track, it has to do with confidence and high self esteem. If a girl has that, even if she is not the most beautiful girl in the room, she will seem that way to everyone else.

  10. #9
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    You should keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person might find attractive another person will find ugly. I have this personal theory that it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, there will always be someone from afar who finds you attractive. While I don't usually recommend you get validation from other people(who cares what people think?! lol) I think it is a very good hint that you are attractive because other people wouldn't bother telling you if you weren't. What I think you should stop doing is telling yourself that there is no way you are attractive because that is all a mental thing that you have been telling yourself for probably a long time. Why don't you reverse your thinking and tell yourself that you are attractive? If you can tell yourself and believe that you are not attractive than you can tell yourself you are attractive and you will believe it. Trust me.


    Another thing is that guys love a confident woman who exudes it when she is walking. If you don't already, I recommend that you start walking with an air of confidence. Stand up straight, chest out, shoulders up, back straight. Believe me, you WILL get noticed if you walk and talk with confidence.

  11. #10
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    Focus on "YOU".. and what makes you feel attractive and happy.. This process is all apart of knowing you and not what you have been through. When you are happy and attractive to yourself these questions will rarely cross your mind.

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