About 6 months ago I wanted to be dead. I would fantasize about car accidents. I would dream I'd die in my sleep and wake up depressed because I woke up. Then I realized it came from being treated like I was insignificant. Sorry this is long but I really need to vent.
My wife doesn't ask my opinion before planning things with her mother or brother's family even if it overrides plans we've already made. (us + kids) One day, she asked me to cook dinner the kids, then her brother calls wanting us to go to his daughter's concert he forgot to tell us about. She gets home THEN tells me and packs up the kids to go. Food I prepared ready on the table.
I work 1.5 hour drive away. Only job I could find. She refuses to move closer because she wants to live near her mother. (currently 15 min. away)
My birthday, she calls me from the grocery store and asks if I want my favorite kind of pie because I don't like cake. She then forgets to buy it. She doesn't apologize or even go to the store across the street. I go out myself at 9pm to get something. I was depressed as I was eating it anyway. She ends up getting me the damn pie 6 days later. I wasn't thrilled as you can imagine. THEN she tried to make me feel bad for not appreciating her effort.
We throw my son a birthday party at Chuck E's the Sat. before his birthday. Most of her family don't show up. We also planned a small dinner at home on his actual birthday, just us and the kids. I had to work on his actual birthday and while at work she txts me that family are now coming. Then txts me again, that there are too many coming so we are moving the party to my mother in law's house. I had only had 3 hours of sleep and now had to go to my in-laws.
We only have sex when she feels like it. Much less than my libido or her's when we got married. It has gotten to the point that I don't bother approaching her anymore. I just wait until she's in the mood and agree to it. I really want to deny her like she does to me but if I did, I'd never have intimacy. Meanwhile, I feel dirty and demoralized because I'm starting to look at other women. I'm Christian and this really causes me emotional strife.
Just yesterday we both had the day off. She spent it with her mother, didn't call or txt me when she would be home so I ate dinner by myself. She got home at 8pm and brought her 2 nieces for a sleep over. She is working today and left me in charge of them. Didn't bother to tell or ask me about that either.
So I tried to talk to her. She doesn't see any of this as selfish and gets snappy with me. When I explained that it's making me VERY depressed, she said there was something wrong with me and that I should see a psychiatrist. Is this normal 'wife' behavior? Am I asking too much or has she forgotten what is involved in being a couple? I resent how I'm being treated and have begun to hate her for not seeing how disrespectful she is of me. FYI: I am seeking a family counselor but not sure if it's because I think divorce would cost more in the long run.