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What can I do 2 boost my bfs sex drive?


Avalex25

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Ok...he's 22, I'm 25, 5'9" 125lbs, blond, green eyes & tan. I have an extremely high sex drive and love itanytime whenever, where ever. But he rarely ever wants to have sex and he said it's cause he's never in the mood & he just doesn't have a very high sex drive. I've tired bjs, hjs, sexy outfits etc... Still nothing I never had the guy I'm dating tell me no or that he's not in the mood damn near all the time. I mean I've tired everything but drug him what do I do?

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If there is nothing wrong if having a low sex drive is normal for him I am not sure if there is anything you can do. The only options if you are planning on staying together monogamously is either for him to be there for you or for you to take care of yourself.

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Hi Avalex25,

 

As a general rule people's sex drive level seem to be fairly constant, and a product of their genes. I wish I could tell you different. No matter how much they are physically attracted to some-one - unless there is a medical or physiological reason - it's rarely seems more changeable than the size of their feet. However it does usually shoot through the roof at the beginning of a relationship. I'm guessing that didn't quite happen here, which is a real indicator that he was telling the truth.

 

Another reason could be if he was suffering from depression which temporarily lowers the sex drive or taking anti-depressants, but I'm guessing you would be aware of that scenario by now.

 

Either way it seems that he has come to terms with his low sex drive and is fairly content with that aspect of himself and your relationship.

 

It is who is and he is disinclined to change that aspect of himself. Even he could.

 

I know it is utterly gutting when you fancy the pants off the guy. You could scream with frustration, I'll bet. But little more than suggesting a medical check-up which may indicate low levels of testorone, there is not a whole lot you can do.

 

There is very little documentary evidence that a tiny nurses uniform can significantly change a man's sex drive for the better in any long lasting way. [However I am certainly looking forward to hearing from male ENAer's who can disprove me on that one]

 

All in all, the ball is in your court. He has indicated that there likely to be a low level of sex in this relationship. I guess it is over to you. What is your response? Is this a deal breaker?

 

There are no wrong or right answers here.

 

Personally it would be for me, because it's big deal for me to feel physically desired in my relationships, quite apart from the act itself and emotional bonding which can occur. Aside from the usual explainable dips owing to illness, stress, overwork etc, any frequent knock backs would have my confidence taking a hefty beating. Fragile little bunny that I am, but I accept that this may not be the norm.

 

Some people would grit their teeth and way it against the level emotional intimacy, loving support and care that they are receiving from their relationship.

 

Over to you.

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I love my boyfriedn very very much but I have the same problem with him.

He even got himself some viagra and I was so excited

Then he explained that viagra actually doesn't change your sex drive, it just makes it hard when you naturally want to have sex.

Guess what.. he took the pill and.. we didnt have sex.

He had some problems at worka and he kept talking about it and I was trying to listen and be supportive but all I was thinking was wow.. you just took viagar and you STILL dont want to have sex with me, what am i gonna do NOW???!!!

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I'm noticing a bit of a tone in your post, OP. Do you want to have sex with him because you want to connect with him and share pleasure, or are you looking for him to constantly crave you so you can feel sexually attractive? It sounds like more the latter to me by the way you're writing.

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Isn't that one of the delightful bonuses of having a boyfriend/girlfriend. As opposed to feeling sexually unattractive when they huddle to the far corner of the bed hoping you won't hassle them.

 

The distinction I was trying to make was that the main focus of her post was only seeking that validation. You're right. It's a -bonus-. But it shouldn't be more important than expressing yourself sexually with your partner and sharing love. That's all I meant.

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I think it's pretty natural for someone to feel insecure in these situations, even though it's clearly not the only reasonable inference. I mean if the guy doesn't want to have sex it is valid to for her to ask herself "is it possible he doesn't want to connect with me and share that pleasure?". That said it's not really up to her to guess what the issue is if he doesn't see there is an issue or is not willing to talk about it.

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Wellbutrin (buproprion) prescription, Pycnogenol (pine bark extract), Maca (for hormones), and one of those 'mens libido' type things that promotes testosterone.

 

Hope this helps, if he is willing to take these then you know he is serious about the situation. If he denies there is even a problem then that's a problem that can't be fixed with any pill...

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