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  1. #1

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    Question What can I do 2 boost my bfs sex drive?

    Ok...he's 22, I'm 25, 5'9" 125lbs, blond, green eyes & tan. I have an extremely high sex drive and love itanytime whenever, where ever. But he rarely ever wants to have sex and he said it's cause he's never in the mood & he just doesn't have a very high sex drive. I've tired bjs, hjs, sexy outfits etc... Still nothing I never had the guy I'm dating tell me no or that he's not in the mood damn near all the time. I mean I've tired everything but drug him what do I do?

  2. #2
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    If there is nothing wrong if having a low sex drive is normal for him I am not sure if there is anything you can do. The only options if you are planning on staying together monogamously is either for him to be there for you or for you to take care of yourself.

  3. #3
    Gold Member bungalo's Avatar
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    You may as an experiment try to back off completely and see if he pursues you. Use your vibrator, whatever for a couple of weeks and see if he comes around.
    "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
    Rumi

  4. #4

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    I've tired that and was without sex for a month. This sounds bad but one of my gfs say I should slip him a lil blue pill to help but I don't think I should have to resort to that.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Deciduous's Avatar
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    Hi Avalex25,

    As a general rule people's sex drive level seem to be fairly constant, and a product of their genes. I wish I could tell you different. No matter how much they are physically attracted to some-one - unless there is a medical or physiological reason - it's rarely seems more changeable than the size of their feet. However it does usually shoot through the roof at the beginning of a relationship. I'm guessing that didn't quite happen here, which is a real indicator that he was telling the truth.

    Another reason could be if he was suffering from depression which temporarily lowers the sex drive or taking anti-depressants, but I'm guessing you would be aware of that scenario by now.

    Either way it seems that he has come to terms with his low sex drive and is fairly content with that aspect of himself and your relationship.

    It is who is and he is disinclined to change that aspect of himself. Even he could.

    I know it is utterly gutting when you fancy the pants off the guy. You could scream with frustration, I'll bet. But little more than suggesting a medical check-up which may indicate low levels of testorone, there is not a whole lot you can do.

    There is very little documentary evidence that a tiny nurses uniform can significantly change a man's sex drive for the better in any long lasting way. [However I am certainly looking forward to hearing from male ENAer's who can disprove me on that one]

    All in all, the ball is in your court. He has indicated that there likely to be a low level of sex in this relationship. I guess it is over to you. What is your response? Is this a deal breaker?

    There are no wrong or right answers here.

    Personally it would be for me, because it's big deal for me to feel physically desired in my relationships, quite apart from the act itself and emotional bonding which can occur. Aside from the usual explainable dips owing to illness, stress, overwork etc, any frequent knock backs would have my confidence taking a hefty beating. Fragile little bunny that I am, but I accept that this may not be the norm.

    Some people would grit their teeth and way it against the level emotional intimacy, loving support and care that they are receiving from their relationship.

    Over to you.

  6. 08-01-2011, 05:23 AM


  7. #6
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    Sounds like a lost cause.

    I'm afraid if you're looking for sex, you're simply with the wrong person.

    Go find one of the millions of men who wants sex!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    you cant do anything, his sex drive is his sex drive. You either have to accept it or move on.
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine

    "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

  9. #8
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    I agree, it usually does come down to acceptance....or moving on. You can't force anything I guess.

  10. #9
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    I have the same problem, my boyfriend only ever seems to want the normal. Missonary, in bed, lights off, night time. Its so boring! I want to do it everywhere and vary it!

  11. #10
    Gold Member annalisa84's Avatar
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    I love my boyfriedn very very much but I have the same problem with him.
    He even got himself some viagra and I was so excited
    Then he explained that viagra actually doesn't change your sex drive, it just makes it hard when you naturally want to have sex.
    Guess what.. he took the pill and.. we didnt have sex.
    He had some problems at worka and he kept talking about it and I was trying to listen and be supportive but all I was thinking was wow.. you just took viagar and you STILL dont want to have sex with me, what am i gonna do NOW???!!!

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