We've been dating for four months and have had a really good time. We had a few hurdles in the sense that he was in the final months of writing his Phd thesis when we met and so he couldn't spend time with me or would be quite tired when we saw each other. I suggested maybe we should go on a break until he finishes his thesis because this wasn't easy for me at the beginning of the relationship. Also, literally the day after he was due to submit it, he had to work 7 days a week at a summer school in another town, so I got the feeling I'd keep waiting, as it were. Anyway, we talked about all this, he said he really didn't want to go on a break and we made it work and I was supportive when I began to understand how much finishing the thesis meant to him. He even thanked me in the acknowledgments for it and told me he didn't know why I stayed because it was so intense, but happy that I did.
Then he started working at the summer school straight after and would call me at any moment he had, though it was usually only for 30 seconds. I didn't mind because I knew he was busy. In the meantime, my dad got pretty ill (brain tumour and we were awaiting results to find out if it was cancerous or not). I thought I should let him know because I didn't want him to think I was being aloof or that something was wrong between us. I asked him to call me that night and he didn't. I was not in a good place and felt I needed to tell him as I didn't know when I would next hear from him at a time when we can talk properly, so I sent him an email to let him know what was going on.
He texted me the next day to say sorry to hear about that, I wish I could be there for you as you have been for me and I'm sorry that I'm not, know it's unfair blah blah... and he also said that from the tone of my email, it sounds like I want to go on a bit of a break which is a bit sad but that he understands. I called him straight away and told him that is not what I meant by the email at all (I admit it was worded badly, but it wasn't easy for me to write it down). Anyway, his response was to be angry with me which I was surprised by so I said I'd call at night, he insisted that he'd call and never called back.
I texted him goodnight and a few days later I emailed him to say I'm sorry for the tone of the email and that if there was anything other than that which upset him, he should be honest with me. Told him how much I liked him and just want to make him happy etc. The only response I got was an auto reply saying that he wouldn't have regular access to his email until 2nd August and that if a query is urgent, to message him on his mobile. I know he has very regular access because he still replies to posts on Facebook etc.
Anyway, I thought it best to leave it at that thinking he'd get in touch when he is ready. It's now been over two weeks and he finished working at the summer school yesterday and no word.
It's just really breaking me. I know that what he has done is unfair and to an extent unforgivable. But I care for him and his behaviour is just not in line with the person I knew and obviously I have a thousand questions in my head. Also, I'm likely to bump into him at events and parties because we have a lot of common friends and we move in similar circles (I haven't told them about this).
I bumped into his ex-girlfriend a week ago and she asked me if I'd heard from him and whether he was okay because he'd asked her to meet up for a coffee. I know it's not because he wants her back, they had a tumultuous relationship and she is now with someone else but they are really good friends and I know he finds it difficult to talk to people about things.
Anyway, I just don't know what to do or think, I've never been in this kind of situation before. I've held back the urge to contact him everyday...
Any input would be gratefully received.