Healing wih the Law of Attraction

I joined this forum on the 14th of July, 4 days after I decided I was done speaking to my boyfriend for good. (Here's the story: ) After I sent him that email I was furious. I would cry everyday, only for a few minutes but i was so angry with him. I replied to an "Angry breakup songs" thread and listed some songs that were all about breakups and jerks. I had negative thoughts all day, everyday and I tried to stay angry because I preferred that over sadness.

3 days ago I stared reading The Secret. An old boyfriend bought it for me about 2 years but I never got around to reading it. I know most people probably think it's nonsense and so did I but hear me out. I started reading about the law of attraction and I tried not to be skeptical.

When I got through half of the book, I put it down and thought of the negative thoughts I had about my relationship, all day everyday for the last month. I pretty much manifested this whole scenario. My boyfriend was so busy and so tired, he was cold and distant even though he tried hard to put on a smile and take me out on weekends. Still, the physical distant bothered me and the more it bothered me, the more negative thoughts I had. I thought about fights, break ups, him leaving without me, etc. Any BS I could possibly think of, I thought of and thought about it a lot! We never fought and nothing happened that could explain why he turned 180 on me, except for this. ( I didn't let him know I was thinking any of it and I didn't let it show).

After I realized all this, I went to my iPhone and deleted my "angry" play list. Then I changed his name on my phone back from "Mr Unavailable" to his nickname. Then I took the picture of us out of the drawer where I hid it and put it back on my desk. Then I took my notebook where I started a journal and ripped out all the pages where I documented all my negative feelings. I threw those pages out and started a new page and drew a big smiley on it. Then I went on to list all the things I really want and I wrote "thank you" next to them all, as if I already had them.

My list included: a job from company X that I've been trying to get for a month now, new PR's I want to set in the gym, a certificate I want to get and the name of the man I'm still in love with. Then I wept. I wept because it felt like the world had been lifted off of my shoulders.

I visualized all the things I listed, I tried to feel them and I was grateful for them. In a few minutes the manager of company X calls and sets up a meeting for today. I met him today and signed my contract. I officially work for them after they've been avoiding me for a month.

2 or 3 hours after I made that list, HE emailed me. (It's in my other post). It's not a positive or negative email but he contacted me after 8 days of NC, out of the blue right after I made that list. Today, I had lunch by myself in a restaurant he would always take me to. I felt nothing but positive emotions while I was there, no sadness, no regrets. I smiled and enjoyed my meal and I was grateful. It just so happened that I was seated next to a girl who was also alone. We ended up making friends and we're going clubbing in 30 minutes, it's Ladies Night

I'll try to make my point now. I have the choice of how I can handle this situation/ break up. I can be angry, I can be sad and I can be completely miserable, drowning in sorrow and not getting out of bed. Whichever attitude I choose is the exact result I will get. If I'm angry I will stay angry, negative and I'll just hurt and hurt and hurt. If I choose to drown in my own sorrow, I will and I'll bring more pain and misery to myself and I will gain nothing.

I chose to be happy, hopeful and positive. It's not easy. It's damn hard! I'm tempted to crawl into my bed and cry all day but I learned that emotion has a snowball effect. Once you start it, it's hard to stop. I do let myself cry if I feel like I need to, I don't bottle anything in but then I work through my negative feelings and start thinking positive.

So far, my positive attitude has brought nothing but POSITIVE into my life. More positive emotions, a dream job, a new friend and much more that I haven't received yet. I expect to get everything else on that list, including the man Here's how I see it: I've initiated NC and I know time will put everything into perspective. I truly believe that we're both in love and that we have something special here.

Most people might think I'm just dreaming but that's the point of the law of attraction. You manifest what you want and in my case I don't believe I'm trying to change his will, I believe it's what he wants too. If all else fails, I know that I have nothing to lose and everything to gain and I'll only gain positive This is how I'm learning to move on with my life, with a smile on my face, gratitude in my heart and optimistic thoughts in my head.

I'll update you with my list and if you're skeptical, watch this space

Great thread and kudos to you! Just reading your post has made me feel more optimistic!

One tip from the movie that really worked for me in a past relaationship was to make a list every night of 5 or 6 things that I appreciated about my boyfriend. He would make a list about me also. This took maybe a few minutes every night and after a month our relationship was completely transformed.

FYI, I've read that rather than imagining yourself in a happy relationship with one particular person, you should simply imagine yourself being in a wonderful relationship. Because that's your true desire and makes it easier for the universe to manifest your wish.

Great that it worked for you....it's always so hard for me to visualize what I want since I have so many thoughts running through my head. Any tips on how to make it easier?

This is an excellent post! I firmly believe in the law of attraction. I had a small list on my fridge last year of things I wanted in my life. I finally got the list entirely checked off in November! It works!

I'm reading "The Secret to Finding Your Soulmate" now. Very similar to The Secret.

Thank you Wilyone! I really like the tip, I think I should try that. I've heard you shouldn't put a face on the guy of your dreams but for now that's what I have to try.

Cagedfeelings, who doesn't have a million thoughts running through their head all day? I just picked out the major things I want in my life right now, I'm not worried about the little things because as long as I'm feeling good and being grateful I'll attract good things anyway so I try not to worry about it. Try focusing on one thing first, the one thing you want the most. Then only think good thoughts about it, think about it only in ways that make you feel good. Then put that image in your head and believe that it's on its way to you. I have to mention that you can't be down most of the time and expect this one good thing because you're thinking happy thoughts about it, you have to change your whole outlook on life and make it positive. The easiest way to do that is to count your blessings, not your problems.

While I dont agree with The Secret or L.O.A to get specific things, I have always believed in the books premise which is to Remain Positive*

I tried all that in the arsenal of stuff to try and get my ex back and of course it didnt work....Maybe I approached it wrong, but the point is, please dont hold onto false hopes for too long....Have hope for yourself to live a good and happy life...Like a poster above mentioned...

Great to see your progress Hope* Those initial stages are horrible and full of pain, but hopefully you'll be finding more peace now.....

Ever Forward

Carus* 8-)

Love it. Heading to bed right now, and instead of crying myself to sleep, I am go to try SMILING myself to sleep. Keep us posted!

So wonderful to see threads like this.

I am a huge enthusiast of deliberate creation (we are all creating our realities constantly, but how many of us are aware of that, and consciously putting in the mental/emotional effort to create it the way we want it?).

I cannot recommend Abraham-Hicks enough. Google it and/or look up the videos on youtube. It took me a little longer to get into "Abe" because it was a little advanced for me when I first started to understand the Law of Attraction, but maybe you'll resonate with them already.

It's been 3 or 4 years since I started to understand LOA, and by now I am a believer, 100%. When I take charge of my feelings and my focusing, I fall into this beautiful flow of allowing everything that I want to come to me. And things keep showing up for me exactly as I specify them, big things and small things, from changes in my physical body to changes in my relationships to perfect jobs to perfect parking spaces, you name it. It gets kind of freaky, like me deciding to myself that I'd like a new purse, and without me saying anything to anyone, a family member comes home the next week from a trip and hands me a purse she spontaneously bought for me. Then the week after that I win another purse in a raffle.

My most recent manifestion is a perfect apartment for my boyfriend and I. We made a list of over 30 things that we wanted to find in one package--really specific things about layout, price, feel, managment, and everything we could think of. We found a place with all but 2 things that we wanted, and everything else showed up way better than we imagined.

When you realize that you are in charge, life becomes enjoyable and exhilerating and fun like it's supposed to be.

I agree with you 100% about keeping a positive perspective in life even throughout problems and that our outlook definitely plays a key part in the life we manifest for ourselves, it's happened to me...they key is to look for the blessing (a lesson) that is there even though it may be hard to see at the time (usually fairly easy to see with time and distance in hindsite though). I believe we will continue to be in situations that are there to teach us whatever that lesson is until we learn it.

One thing I would also add is to temper this positive outlook with a lot of acceptance. Acceptance of the way things are as the way things should be...that is you are exactly where you should be right now, no matter the circumstances (good or bad) and that things are exactly as they should be regardless of circumstances (good or bad). Sure you can change things for yourself if you decide you don't like something, but that decision comes only after you have accepted the situation for what it is and have a WILLINGNESS to change and invest in that change process. I don't know about the Law of Attraction, never read The Secret but I firmly believe in looking for blessings in all things. Once you take on an attitude of gratitude life changes from negative to positive and I do believe the life you manifest is what unfolds for you, maybe not exactly as you would want it to but exactly as it is supposed to.

One other thing I would add in my thought on acceptance is that even if you and your ex do not come together again you can and will be happy again..one of the hardest things for all of us to learn is that we can not change other people. They have to come to their own conclusions for themselves. There are only good or bad decisions based upon our percepectives of their decisions about how they impact us based on our relationship with them for themselves.

I rely on the Serenity Prayer everyday to keep my focus and my attitude positive. It allows me to stay happy even in spite of despite sometimes negative situations going on around me.

Can I ask who the author of the secret book is please? Thanks.

It's a secret lol

...lol. Ho ho ho. But on a serious note - who is it? I want to purchase it, anything to distract myself.

Hi Bella*....Glad I got a laugh out of you..

I'm not too sure but I just googled it and there's plenty of links there...

Best of Luck*

Carus 8-)

I was (maybe still am) sceptical about The Secret. Never read it, but maybe I should...

I know the key is to be positive: negativity gets you nowhere. But it's hard to just "instantly" be positive. That's like saying if you have a stomach ache all you have to say is "I don't want to have a stomach ache" and it will go away. Doesn't quite work like that.

Everyone on this board I reckon wants to be more positive, it's just finding the strength to swim through the sh1t and see the light.

This is my first serious BU, but I've learnt so much from it. I realise now that in the weeks immediately after it I had no choice but to feel like my world was ending. I should have just let the pain envelop me instead of fighting it. Once you get to the point of being able to take no more pain, that's when it begins to ease.

Nothing in life comes easy, even healing.

First of all I want to say that this forum is AWESOME and there’s always a post or thread on here that makes me smile.

Carus, I thought about the false hope thing but I’m just playing it by ear. Time will reveal if he misses me.

Teabee, I’m going to look for those videos right now. It’s so encouraging to hear that it’s been working for you!

Okiedokiestom, that’s funny you mentioned acceptance. Just a couple of hours ago when I was driving home I thought to myself “I accept the current situation and everything that happened because I took away a huge life lesson from it.” I agree with everything that you said and I’m waiting for time to show what conclusion he comes to on his own. I’m just visualizing it and being positive about it.

Just a note, I’ve read that you can’t change people’s minds and wills. You can only manifest objects like a car or job because they don’t have free will. Although that is true, I believe you can manifest for another person to see another perspective or to give you the benefit of doubt. Here’s my example: I kept turning down this dream job because 1 month ago I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit to it. I kept telling them I’ll think about, I’m not sure, what about flexible hours, what about part time hours? No employer in their right mind would trust me after that and they did ignore me for a while but the day I made that list I got a call and today was my first day on the job : )

Bella, the author is Rhonda Byrne.

Lemsip, the first and hardest step is to believe, to take a leap of faith. Real faith, no subconscious doubts. It’s not easy but it’s possible. You’re absolutely right; you need to find the strength to see the light. A lot of strength but it is in everyone’s power to do that.

Good stuff. A few days ago, after a eureka moment when I decided to forgive myself and my ex for our recent break-up, I downloaded the audiobook version of The Secret and put it on my ipod. It is definitely helpful. My only order from "the catalogue" right now is simply "happiness" for I'm not sure what I specifically want other than to be happy. And I've started to feel happier and I am grateful for that.

DD

Yeah, I believe in this - good thread. Did anyone see Derren Brown's Hero at 30,000 Feet? Now I thought this guy was full of it, til I watched this. You can actually see him turning this guy's life around by subliminally altering his thinking from negative to positive. If you're outside the UK I think this link works - inside the UK - . I can't recommend it highly enough.

Good thread... Read the secret and the power by Rhonda Byrne. It's not possible because of free will but if you're on the same vibration and have the same love, I believe an ex can return by using the LOA. I use it and believe in it. You have got to trust in the universe for it to work and know that it's already yours. Oddly enough I've been bringing up the LOA in a lot of threads lately.

The secret is also in the book thread that I started awhile ago.

Good for you Myname. Im so impressed. I think at the 1 week mark I was miserable, never mind able to read The Secret. I, too, am a fan of the book. The audiobook is great for the car--even a few minutes a day is good for the soul. Keep being an inspiration to us all.

I was (maybe still am) sceptical about The Secret. Never read it, but maybe I should...

 

I know the key is to be positive: negativity gets you nowhere. But it's hard to just "instantly" be positive. That's like saying if you have a stomach ache all you have to say is "I don't want to have a stomach ache" and it will go away. Doesn't quite work like that.

You're right, it doesn't quite work like that. You have to keep reaching for the next best thought and move yourself up the scale. So if you had a stomach ache, your next thought could be:

"AGAIN?! I get stomaches ALL the time, I'm so sick of it."

Or you could choose to think:

"Well it hurts now, but my stomach aches never last too long, so I know I'll feel better in awhile."

Which thought feels better? You're not pretending that you don't have a stomachache, but you are reaching for the thought that feels just a little bit better than the one you were thinking before. You can't go from depressed to ecstatic in a moment, but you can ALWAYS find a thought that makes you feel relief. That's the key word--if you think a thought that makes you feel relief, then you are moving yourself up to a better place. There's lots to it, and once you learn how it works, it's not as ridiculous as many people assume.

I've bought the book and started reading it based on this thread. I saw the video before but didn't buy into it... Now I see where it all went wrong

Lemsip and everyone else, please watch this video

If you do, you'll understand so much more. Thank you Teabee!!

 

Just great! I can't even express how much Abraham-Hicks has helped me. I'd also recommend browsing some of their stuff at the bookstore. "Ask and It Is Given--Learning to Manifest Your Desires" is an amazing book. They give tons of different exercises and processes for moving yourself up to a better place and manifesting things in your life.

Hope you enjoy it Mellie and I hope you find it as inspiring as I did!

here is "the secret" movie : link removed

link removed

There's a link about using the law of attraction to possibly re-attract the ex. It's the first one that I've seen that makes perfect sense to me. It's basically what this forum encourages a lot of the time as well from the get go.