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  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    new york city
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    6
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    Female

    Unhappy My Boyfriend is ignoring me after a fight.

    3 days ago my boyfriend and I got into a dispute (all through text, by the way) about someone harassing me. Whoever is harassing me has been doing it for a year and its all cyber-bullying. i normally dont talk about it unless it is with my friend who is going through it with me. So i decided to talk to my boyfriend about it, just releasing some emotions. Eventually he became angry that this has been going on for so long and that i havent done anything about it to fix the situation. Unfortunately i did everything that i could but nothings changed. I became defensive and i started to text back aggressively explaining that ive done everything that i could but cops wont do anything. He winded up getting angry at me and said he is going to talk to me later... the next day i sent him a long apology stating that the way i behaved wasn't right and that i should do something else and that i am going to and asked him to contact me when hes not busy. Again the same night i texted him asking him whats going on. Again the 2nd day after the fight i texted him wishing him good luck for an interview that he has coming up. And after i took action again when about my harassment situation i called him to let him know i tried doing something again.

    through all my efforts of contacting him, he has never replied once, but i do know he has time to go on facebook and contact other people. I am not sure whats going on because we are in a temporary long distant relationship and he has broken up with me 3 times already because of minor mistakes that i have done. i know that i really havent done anything this time, but i dont know what to do anymore... today is the 3rd day and he still hasnt contacted me or anything. im giving him his space but i wish i get some clue to whats happening. i can respect the fact that he needs space, but if he would just tell me i would be okay but i dont know anything. i dont even know if he wants to break up with me. i dont think he doses, but from previous actions im not sure... any advice could be helpful.

    I also want to say we've been friends for 5 years so i know overall he is a good guy... ive know his ex girlfriends and ive heard the good and bad about it from several people which ive seen also. i know that he loves me and furthermore, we both had feelings for each other for those 5 years.... i just want some insight...

  2. #2
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    701
    WOAH.

    He broke up with you three times for minor mistakes you have done? Were they honestly mistakes or did he make you feel this way? Do Not. DO NOT be that girl to have her self esteem lowered from someone who makes them feel low the decision they make. Love is love, through the good and the bad. Love is a choice...along with a feeling, the feeling comes and fades but the choice always remains.

    He is getting angry at you for the actions of someone else that you have no control over. He should be your best friend to confide everything into and yet he gets made when you tell him your discomfort and annoyance at this cyber bully?

    This guy has issues, hes jealous, territorial, and over bearing. CYBER BULLYING, this isn't physical or anything else, and this guy supposedly isn't flirting or trying to hook up with you. This is no reason to get mad and if anything he should be comforting you, not ignoring you.

    My suggestion is to stop contacting him and let him apologize for over reacting and treating you like your the culprit and the conspirator. You have done nothing wrong, yet YOUR BF is making you feel this way. THAT IS THE ONLY PROBLEM I SEE HERE. My two cents.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    2,687
    So much for support! Sounds like you're being punished. He sounds very manipulative and immature. I would look a little more closely at the 'relationship' because I am thinking you're ignoring many red flags.

    How are you being cyber-bullied?

    Do NOT contact the boyfriend, again. And for God's sake, do not apologize.

  4. #4
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    Jul 2011
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    new york city
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    Female
    the thing its normal for a lot of people to think me and my friend are not doing enough for being harassed... though thats because the cops think it was a college prank so they dont take it seriously no matter how many times we file complaints. i understand him getting angry at me for "not doing enough" because a lot of people feel that way. he isnt the first one to react that way and i know he wont be the last. the cyber bullying involves some what stalking me and my friend, attempting to steal my friends identity... sending me threatening emails and constantly texting me... the scary about it is that its some one i knwo just not sure who...

    the 3 "mistakes" ive done were... me seeing my ex boyfriend to give him closure. me and my boyfriend were supposed to skype that day but i wound up not bailing because i was forced to console my exboyfriend and his parents. i didnt call my boyfriend to let him know why i cant skype with him because i felt it was disrespectful to contact him when i was with my ex and his parents. i was very close to them. he had no idea what was going on except that i was at my ex houses till very late. I never did anything and i was with his parents to teh whole time... i never lied to him about anything but i did ditch him...

    the second time i was planning to hang out with one of his best friends (this was before his best friend knew me and my bf were dating) alone. The main reason i was going to meet with him was because i wanted to tell his friend in person since he used to have feelings for me and he was a good guy. i felt i owed to say we were dating in person instead of thru text since he was a good friend of mine too

    the 3rd time was plain stupid. but he finally admitted it was because of the long distance and the fear of being with me and getting hurt. his past girl friends were completely into him and i guess revolved around his life a lot. im not that type of girl, which is something i know he loves about our relationship that im not to dependent on him...

    none of the things ive done were great, but i do know that they are reasons for being uncomfortable... and especially since hes more protective and jealous compared to my ex. this was all at the beginning of the relationship... i was more used to having a bf who didnt care about anythign i did... so i lived that way without wondering how he would take things....
    Last edited by gssblue; 07-09-2011 at 12:36 AM.

  5. #5
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    701
    Well the only main mistake you made was the going to give the ex bf closure...and not telling him up front...that is the only true mistake.

    Other than that...I still feel as if he is over reacting. He is putting it all on you, expecting you to fix everything.

    How about he stands up for you instead of get angry. How about he helps you figure out how to get this pest out of your life, instead of pass judgement that you are not doing enough.

    How about you not apologize, but ask him for help? Maybe he is mad because you keep it from him? I wouldn't apologize. Wait for him to contact after he cools down and then figure it all out.

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