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my boyfriend enjoys anal stimulation... is he gay?


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We are both extremely confused right now. He really wants to do anal with me... as in, he wants me to do anal to him! Like, I've researched online and i know the G-spot is in the anus on a male.

We're both at the age of exploring our sexual curiosity. The problem is, he's getting really confused on what to think. He enjoys anal stimulation (he fingered himself and stuck an object in there). He says that he feels gay for it and I asked "You don't want a guy to do it, right?" and he said "No, not really. My curiosity is off the chart right now". I don't know what to say to him. Because Im insecure about the whole thing, I asked if he was attracted to me and he said that I turn him on and my body turns him on and thinking about me turns him on and that he has no desire to be with a man.

We've talked about me giving him anal stimulation while i give him oral, but I don't think I can. I'm worried and confused and just don't know what to think. Like, i just wish he wasn't this way but I don't want to tell him that, I just don't think I can help him explore his sexuality. What do I do/think!? Please answer me on here or e-mail me

I just need a male to tell me it's not a gay act and a female to say that she's done it. I need someone to tell me whats going on!!! I feel like our sex life will be weird/akward/uncomfortable and i just want things to be and feel normal. i mean for gods sakes! ive never even seen a straight porn where the man gets fingered! HELP ME PLEASE come to terms with this.... please :sad:

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it is totally not gay, and can provide great pleasure for a man as his G-spot, so to speak is there, and i just did it to my BF as well, it gave him a very strong and intense orgasm and he loved it, and he is surely not gay either, it is seen as a taboo and will cause people to react negatively but as long as you can give him great pleasure that way who cares? i gave my BF a blowjob at the same time and he was harder as he has ever been before, and we will certainly do it more often....

just enjoy it if you can, if you don't like it then you shouldn't do it, but it can be fun and really intimate for both of you!

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Well i am a male and honestly he is not gay. Tell you the truth i will bet my life that most guys like some kind of anal stimulation but will not admit it for we do not want to be portrayed as gay. If you don't want to do it just tell him and if he really wants to do it he will while you to are sexual. Don't let it get to you. The women i have been with loved doing it and it also turned them on more. It brings our orgasm more intense and a different feeling when we ejaculate

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It's women thinking that it's gay that makes men not want to reveal that they would like to try it.

 

It's totally NOT gay and my fiance loves it. I introduced it to him because he never thought to really give it a try and I was the first girl to make him comfortable about it heck I even suggested it!!

 

Give it a try I'm sure you'll both be pleased!

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It's women thinking that it's gay that makes men not want to reveal that they would like to try it.

 

This. There's nothing "gay" about massaging the prostate gland. The only reason so many straight guys get antsy about it is because of 1) homophobia, and 2) being penetrated is viewed as being made feminine, which is also something most guys are encouraged to fear.

 

Trust me. I've known straight guys who unfortunately did not have the guts to admit to their girlfriends that they wanted to pursue strap-on play out of fear of being labeled as gay or being seen as less masculine. It took a lot of guts for him to confide that in you. Just remember that being gay means that you're physically and emotionally attracted to other men. It doesn't mean attraction to particular sex acts regardless of the gender of those involved.

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I doubt that us telling you it isn't gay is going to do anything to alleviate his fears. I wouldn't say it is necessarily gay but it isn't a stretch to think for you boyfriend to spread his legs and allow himself to be penetrated isn't somehow assuming a role that has traditionally been considered "female". Perhaps it is less a gay concern as it is a gender concern. I wish we could all just be happy and not so sensitive about it but in many cases that is just unrealistic. I could say well it should be ok for your boyfriend to wear a skirt to work if that is what he wants, I doubt though if it would make any difference in how he would get treated at work regardless of what anybody says on here.

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If your boyfriend is truthfully attracted to you he is by default not gay. At most it would be possible he is bisexual.

 

In the case that you are really not comfortable with this, remember that he can explore this on his own. You both just need to be totally honest about your comfort levels here.

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I would agree with lukeb that this has more to do with "gender panic" than about sexuality. Being "masculine" is taken to mean the pursuer, the aggressor, the penetrator, the seeder, etc. The "feminine" is passive, that which is pursued, the penetrated, etc. That's why so many guys have such a kneejerk reaction to the idea of being stimulated anally. As many feminist theorists have written about extensively, the fear of penetration is one of the hallmarks of patriarchal societies.

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thank you all sooo much! you guys helped me out tons! like, ive read things like this posted online, but its totally different when someones actually saying it to you. this really made me feel so much better. i actually smiled at some of the replies becuz it made more sense and by the way its sounds, it could be fun!

im not quite sure if im ready to try it just yet, but i know now that i do want to try it someday! and im also the kinda girl that loves giving oral so when sara-pezzini said that it will make him harder than ever before, that go me excited and made me giggle lol

i guess part of the reason i felt so wrong was also cuz i mentioned it as a joke, cuz ive heard of it before, and then when he tried it on himself, i kinda flipped... but my eyes have been opened and ive seen the light! haha thank you all again SO much!

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A guy wanting his ass fingered because it feels good is not gay. A guy placing assorted objects in and up his ass that were never designed to be there is probably not gay but it is a bit of an eyebrow raiser. A guy who is asked if he's into guys who answers "Not really" such as your boyfriend did, is suspect. A guy who wants a woman to wear a strapon and screw him in the ass is probably gay because she has now become a symbol of a male and that's a lot more than just anal stimulation.

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A guy wanting his ass fingered because it feels good is not gay. A guy placing assorted objects in and up his ass that were never designed to be there is probably not gay but it is a bit of an eyebrow raiser.

 

Funny that no one "raises eyebrows" at women who want the same thing, even though they are actually less physically set up to get pleasure from it than men.

 

A guy who wants a woman to wear a strapon and screw him in the ass is probably gay because she has now become a symbol of a male and that's a lot more than just anal stimulation.

 

Uh, no, he's not gay unless he actually wants to have sex with just men. I'm gay myself and I can absolutely assure you I would have zero interest in having sex with a woman with a strap-on. They're very different desires.

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Uh, no, he's not gay unless he actually wants to have sex with just men. I'm gay myself and I can absolutely assure you I would have zero interest in having sex with a woman with a strap-on. They're very different desires.

 

Interesting to see it from your perspective.

 

I never thought of it that way.

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Fathomfear I find your posts insightful and very to the point, but a being penetrated stap-on is a bit more than taboo i feel, im not calling gay per-say but its a bit too out there in the realms of what i consider my view of sexuality. Different strokes for different fokes though.

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Fathomfear I find your posts insightful and very to the point, but a being penetrated stap-on is a bit more than taboo i feel, im not calling gay per-say but its a bit too out there in the realms of what i consider my view of sexuality. Different strokes for different fokes though.

 

The fact of the matter is that males have prostate glands. It's called the "male g-spot" for a reason. Men actually have a much higher potential to experience pleasure from it than women do, physiologically speaking.

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Yeah I'm not denying the physical pleasure of the act, I'm talking about using a strap on to do it, being penetrated by a fake penis being worn by a female I'm not sure where it fits in the sex world, not really taboo per say maybe just unusual. I just don't know how to perceive it.

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  • 1 month later...

I hope by now you will realise your b/f is not gay. Liking anal stimulation is not the same as being gay. His liking for anal stimulation may be long term and he was probably born with this liking but is too embarrassed to discuss it. He may secretly fancy the idea of going down on all fours and having someone penetrate his anus doggy fashion but agaain this does not mean he is gay. In truth he would probably like you to wear a strap-on dildo and penetrate him in this way while masturbating him with your hand. In actual fact, if I am right, he will have satisfied himself about this experience and may not rate it as tops in future. As an alternative, instead of going to the expense of buying a strap on you could wiggle something in his bum while masturbating him while he is on all fours or lying down suitably

 

I suspect he will enjoy anal stimulation while having sex with you in the normal way. Try wiggling a small dildo or similar small object in his bottom while having intercourse. Actually a six inch soft rubber enema catheter would be suitable, well lubricated and stroked gently in and out. As it is soft and flexible there will be no chance of jabbing him with it but block the end of it for hygiene purposes. He may go wild with this as the anal stimulation enhances the orgasm. One thing is for sure, if you do this and he is able to relax about his sexuality, he will love you for ever!!

 

Remember, he is just made that way, as many men are, and he will always enjoy sex with you while there is something up his bottom. It does not mean you do not satify him, you certainly will and he will reward you for this by giving you, fantastic sex at the same time. Just try it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

i've always been open to all things sexual tbh i've had a GF try putting a finger up there and i hate it but love stimulating her anus. tbh he is not gay trust me i know guys who love their GF's putting strap-ons in their arse but are completely homophobic haha don't worry hun it isn't gay but if you aren't comfortable doing it DON'T!! sex ik about exploring with eachother and crossing boudaries to keep the passion if you dont enjoy it you dont do it again simple

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I wouldn't worry so much about him being gay (at all really), but the whole idea sounds icky to me. I know that's where the g-spot so it would probably make him feel good. But I can't help but think said finger would come out smelling badly and possibly with an unwelcome surprise on it. It just doesn't seem sanitary. Honestly, if my bf asked me to do that with him, I don't think I could. If this is something that really turns you off, he needs to be understanding as well of that fact. He shouldn't want you to do something sexually that makes you feel so uncomfortable. I have explored my bf''s fantasies and fetishes with him, but there are some things he likes that I won't do because it's such a turn off for me. I have the same respect for him not to try to force him into something he doesn't like. I would like to have a threesome with a friend of mine, but he said he would never feel comfortable doing a threesome with another guy, so that's the end of it. I don't feel comfortable having my butt touched, and even though he'd love to fully explore that area, it's off limits. If it's really a huge turn-off to you, don't do it, because it's only going to ruin sex between the two of you.

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actually miss Kitty, it doesn't smell and in my case, no surprises came out, i was afraid to at first and even wanted to wear a glove, i have a thread here asking for advice on how to do this, but my BF never asked for it, i wanted to do it myself cause i know it can give a man great and intense pleasure and since i love him i want him to experience that pleasure and also get to know him in a way no one else knows him LOL

and i used lots and lots of lube and while i was giving him a blowjob i played around the area with my finger, making sure he was okay with it, which he was, and making sure he was relaxed enough and when i felt the time was right i gently inserted my finger and gave him ablowjob at the same time, well he has never been as hard and thick as this before and he never came as hard as this time before! and you know what, it was fun and very intimate and also a turn on for me!

so you might just play around with the idea, it's not gross at all......and he absolutely loved it! well worth it, and will do it more often

now i can't really see me using a strap-on and do him, but this was fun!

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