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  1. #1

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    my boyfriend enjoys anal stimulation... is he gay?

    We are both extremely confused right now. He really wants to do anal with me... as in, he wants me to do anal to him! Like, I've researched online and i know the G-spot is in the anus on a male.
    We're both at the age of exploring our sexual curiosity. The problem is, he's getting really confused on what to think. He enjoys anal stimulation (he fingered himself and stuck an object in there). He says that he feels gay for it and I asked "You don't want a guy to do it, right?" and he said "No, not really. My curiosity is off the chart right now". I don't know what to say to him. Because Im insecure about the whole thing, I asked if he was attracted to me and he said that I turn him on and my body turns him on and thinking about me turns him on and that he has no desire to be with a man.
    We've talked about me giving him anal stimulation while i give him oral, but I don't think I can. I'm worried and confused and just don't know what to think. Like, i just wish he wasn't this way but I don't want to tell him that, I just don't think I can help him explore his sexuality. What do I do/think!? Please answer me on here or e-mail me<removed>
    I just need a male to tell me it's not a gay act and a female to say that she's done it. I need someone to tell me whats going on!!! I feel like our sex life will be wierd/akward/uncomfortable and i just want things to be and feel normal. i mean for gods sakes! ive never even seen a straight porn where the man gets fingered! HELP ME PLEASE come to terms with this.... please
    Last edited by HeartGoesOn; 07-06-2011 at 10:41 PM. Reason: removed personal information

  2. #2
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    It's not gay and I've done it to a man. You are just freaking out because maybe it's a little bit taboo.

    Totally normal.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator agent's Avatar
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    I've done it to guys. It's fantastic.

    Look, there's nothing gay about wanting to see what your body likes.
    By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. - Confucius

    You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too.- Anais Nin

  4. #4
    Platinum Member sara-pezzini's Avatar
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    it is totally not gay, and can provide great pleasure for a man as his G-spot, so to speak is there, and i just did it to my BF as well, it gave him a very strong and intense orgasm and he loved it, and he is surely not gay either, it is seen as a taboo and will cause people to react negatively but as long as you can give him great pleasure that way who cares? i gave my BF a blowjob at the same time and he was harder as he has ever been before, and we will certainly do it more often....
    just enjoy it if you can, if you don't like it then you shouldn't do it, but it can be fun and really intimate for both of you!
    Well, I won't give up on us , God knows i'm tough enough
    We've got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it
    I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough
    I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up

    - jason mraz -

  5. #5
    Member mrwebcam's Avatar
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    Well i am a male and honestly he is not gay. Tell you the truth i will bet my life that most guys like some kind of anal stimulation but will not admit it for we do not want to be portrayed as gay. If you don't want to do it just tell him and if he really wants to do it he will while you to are sexual. Don't let it get to you. The women i have been with loved doing it and it also turned them on more. It brings our orgasm more intense and a different feeling when we ejaculate

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Huntress0527's Avatar
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    It's women thinking that it's gay that makes men not want to reveal that they would like to try it.

    It's totally NOT gay and my fiance loves it. I introduced it to him because he never thought to really give it a try and I was the first girl to make him comfortable about it heck I even suggested it!!

    Give it a try I'm sure you'll both be pleased!

  7. #7
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huntress0527 View Post
    It's women thinking that it's gay that makes men not want to reveal that they would like to try it.
    This. There's nothing "gay" about massaging the prostate gland. The only reason so many straight guys get antsy about it is because of 1) homophobia, and 2) being penetrated is viewed as being made feminine, which is also something most guys are encouraged to fear.

    Trust me. I've known straight guys who unfortunately did not have the guts to admit to their girlfriends that they wanted to pursue strap-on play out of fear of being labeled as gay or being seen as less masculine. It took a lot of guts for him to confide that in you. Just remember that being gay means that you're physically and emotionally attracted to other men. It doesn't mean attraction to particular sex acts regardless of the gender of those involved.

  8. #8
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    I doubt that us telling you it isn't gay is going to do anything to alleviate his fears. I wouldn't say it is necessarily gay but it isn't a stretch to think for you boyfriend to spread his legs and allow himself to be penetrated isn't somehow assuming a role that has traditionally been considered "female". Perhaps it is less a gay concern as it is a gender concern. I wish we could all just be happy and not so sensitive about it but in many cases that is just unrealistic. I could say well it should be ok for your boyfriend to wear a skirt to work if that is what he wants, I doubt though if it would make any difference in how he would get treated at work regardless of what anybody says on here.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member NightLily's Avatar
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    If your boyfriend is truthfully attracted to you he is by default not gay. At most it would be possible he is bisexual.

    In the case that you are really not comfortable with this, remember that he can explore this on his own. You both just need to be totally honest about your comfort levels here.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
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    I would agree with lukeb that this has more to do with "gender panic" than about sexuality. Being "masculine" is taken to mean the pursuer, the aggressor, the penetrator, the seeder, etc. The "feminine" is passive, that which is pursued, the penetrated, etc. That's why so many guys have such a kneejerk reaction to the idea of being stimulated anally. As many feminist theorists have written about extensively, the fear of penetration is one of the hallmarks of patriarchal societies.

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