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  1. #1
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    Two straight guys in love with eachother but scared to be with eachother

    I know crazy situation I'm in right? Ha. Actually the title should read straight and bi curious guys in love, me being the bi one. So the deal is I meet Eric a while ago had had class with him last year but never paid any attention to him-two different crowds of people. Well the next year we met (a very strange way) and fell in love. Well I was more than eager to embrace my feelings towards him (not aware of the consequences, though at the same time I couldnt a rats behind) but he was more reluctant. I tried over and over to tell him how us being together doesn't make us gay and that in the end we're only two human beings that just happen to love eachother, but it never got through to him. Well his reluctance put a huge strain in the relationship, and as well as other factors, led him to walk away from me, never to talk again. It's been months now and honestly it still bothers me. At first I was trying so hard to try and figure out a way to win his heart back, then I thought I was over it, and now idk. Ive been really thinking about all that the baggage that comes being a same sex couple and honestly it scares the living crap out of me. I never understood before why he couldn't just forget about everything else, but now I understand. I've been going back and forth trying to figure everything out. The fate of the relationship, has always been in my hands, and I know some part of him wants it and calls out for me. As crazy it sounds I just know. When you know you know. And now there's one last hope for the two of us and I don't know what to do. I never wanted to feel this way for another man or be with a man and there's a lot lost with being with him, but at the same time I do love him and don't see him as a man and that losing him maybe a greater loss, especially when you know you found that one, how do you let it go. And then I find myself thinking that why put the both of us through what we're bound to go through. It's so hard for same sex couples in today's world, and the fact that we have the choice to go through not like most couples who are forced to endure or spend their lives alone or ashamed of their love. I just want to make the right decision here. Id hate to take the easy way out but I'm not sure it's a fight I want to fight.

  2. #2
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    man + man = gay. Why do gay/bi men always pick straight guys and try to convert them, then bum out when the straight guy isn't interested?

    Anyway - not sure what decision do you need to make? You said he's cut you out of his life and you haven't spoken in months.

    Find another gay man and leave the straight boys alone. It will go a lot easier for you.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ariel85 View Post
    man + man = gay. Why do gay/bi men always pick straight guys and try to convert them, then bum out when the straight guy isn't interested?

    Anyway - not sure what decision do you need to make? You said he's cut you out of his life and you haven't spoken in months.

    Find another gay man and leave the straight boys alone. It will go a lot easier for you.

    Well FYI I wasnt trying to convert anyone it just happened. And as I said I was barely interested in men at the time. I like women very much so, and as well does he so 2 men doesn't necessarily lead up to gay. And he hasn't cut me off from his line but that's a whole different story.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelito18 View Post
    I like women very much so, and as well does he
    In that case, I would say you are BOTH BI. (I agree with Ariel85 that man + man = gay).

    That said, I would say it's best to let it go. You say "I'm not sure it's a fight I want to fight" and as things stand, I don't see any future anyway, so it's best to move on (imo).
    Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.

    Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.

  5. #5
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    Ok...this is a strange situation. Love is a strange concept. You can love absolutely anyone for a variety of reasons in a variety of way, but I feel there are stages of love. I.e., you love your significant other more than you love your family and friends, and you love your family and friends more than you love some random stranger on the street. I'm sure you love this man and he loves you, but it's clear he doesn't love you as much as you should love a significant other. He's not the person you should spend the rest of your life with, and you're not the person that he should either.

    There are 4 basic sexualities: homosexual, hetereosexual, bisexual, and asexual. Your sexuality is determined by which sex(es) you are physically and sexually attracted to. The term bi-curious is used to describe people who identify as heterosexual (or sometimes homosexual) but are curious as to whether or not they are bisexual. Asexual people aren't attracted to members of the same OR opposite sex. Now, I'm fully convinced that you are bi-curious and your friend is heterosexual. "Being together" doesn't make you homosexual...there's another term for that. It's called pansexual. Pansexuals are defined as being able to have romantic relations with another person, regardless of either person's gender or sexual orientation. Here's some examples of pansexuals: A) a homosexual "in the closet" who marries someone of the opposite sex who they are romanticaly attracted to and in love with; B) an asexual who just wants somebody to love, regardless of their gender (a lot of asexuals only date the opposite sex, but not necessarily); C) most bisexuals (some of them don't want to have romantic relations with the same sex). Notice what sexuality wasn't in my examples? Pansexuals are almost exclusively non-hetereosexual. However, you are pansexual and are hoping your friend is too. Unfortunately, you're probably wrong about that. He's thinking what you two have together is more of a "bromance" and not a romantic attraction at all. I think you should have an in-depth discussion with him about it, but if he's not interested "in that way" then just move on.

  6. #6
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    Thanks very much, the only insightful response I've gotten thus far. I totally agree about the pansexual thing and honestly I know what the deal is with him, he'd rather not be labeled a "fag" just to be with someone, I know he feels the same but I guess lacks the same "devotion" I guess. And honestly even if we did talk I don't know what I hope for it too accomplish honestly. I feel that if we get involved it'll be real serious and long term and I don't know if I can handle that. I keep getting trapped between the love I want and the love I got, I wouldn't chose it but I got it absurd not half bad, but it comes with a heavy price. Or lead a life that isn't that complete I guess. The situation is complicated and a strange sort and whatever decision shouldn't be taken lightly.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capricorn3 View Post
    In that case, I would say you are BOTH BI. (I agree with Ariel85 that man + man = gay).

    That said, I would say it's best to let it go. You say "I'm not sure it's a fight I want to fight" and as things stand, I don't see any future anyway, so it's best to move on (imo).
    Yea true but I don't know what I'm moving on from.

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