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Thread: My boyfriend is going to lunch with another girl.

  1. #1

    Question My boyfriend is going to lunch with another girl.

    My boyfriend told me about meeting this girl a few weeks ago during his graduation ceremony. He told me she had been in a few of his classes but he never really talked to her. The next day he told me that he emailed her and she responded.

    Yesterday, my boyfriend told me he had a confession. He told me that he had agreed to go to lunch with her today. I've been feeling weird about him meeting her ever since he told me. I feel like he's leaving out details or something and his behavior has changed. We have been in a LDR as of a few weeks ago, right after his graduation. Usually, we text/IM all day, an occasional call during the day, and then he calls me at night and we talk until we fall asleep. All of that has stopped.

    I'm also concerned because my boyfriend has been flirty with other women in the past and I highly doubt he's given up his old ways.

    Please give me your opinions on this situation.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    If he uses the word 'confession' then it seems more likely something is going that should not be.

  3. #3
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    Yea...the fact that he called it a 'confession' is NOT good. That doesnt imply lunch with just a friend.

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    I have to say, after reading so many stories about people who actually full-out cheat and then lie repeatedly I find his forthcoming-ness refreshing. It does sound like a potentially bad situation, but I think it's great that he has told you about it. Have you specifically asked him, "Is there something going on between you two? Is this a romantic thing?"

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Deejmonster's Avatar
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    I don't think that he is cheating.. he is being honest.. but when someone is honest about meeting another person... that usually means that he is trying to tell you that he is lining up another relationship. My best friend is a girl.. and i never have to hide anything from my current girlfriend. I thought that this is what he was doing at first in your post.. but the fact that you are no longer in visible contact with him might mean that he is looking for a way out. It might be because he needs affection that he cant get from an LDR.. or the fact that he feels that she can offer something else. Whatever excuse is completely immature and wrong. I would find a way to see him personally. That would be the only way to really talk to him. Ask him what is going on, you deserve the truth. If you text/call/IM there is always a way for him to dodge you. If you are in person.. not so easy. What I am taking from this though is that he is looking for a way out, but is trying not to cheat on you, because that would weigh on his conscience, he probably thinks that this is more "moral" by telling you everything that is going on.. but it is still wrong. Don't accuse him of anything just yet, they might be just platonic friends.. it can happen! but i would seriously suggest talking to him very soon about this.
    When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

  6. #6
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    Do you have a chance to visit him or see him face to face? He might be getting things from this girl that he can't get out of a LDR and this might be a potential end for your relationship. If you have that chance, pay him a visit and make him remember good old times you had. You have to keep these memories and excitement alive and it is only possible by being with him physically. Maybe if you could visit him for a few days, his butterflies might return and he might realize that what he has already established with you is far more strong than what he could have with a new girl he met for lunch.

  7. #7
    Thanks for your input guys.

    In addition to the "i have a confession" thing he also asked me not to get mad.. so maybe it is something more than he says. I've asked him over and over if he's attracted to her and why he wants to meet with her and all he says is "she's my friend, i feel no attraction." Honestly, all my concerns are stemming from a similar situation that has happened between us not too long ago. The only difference is that he met the girl online and seriously considered giving her a chance and "playing the field." He even told all his friends and some of his family about her and he tried to meet up with her. He was actually attracted to this girl but he lied about not being attracted to her.

    I do appreciate his unusual forthcoming-ness, though, especially considering past incidents . I do think that the distance is dulling his feelings for me. He's supposed to come spend the day with me next Friday so hopefully that will remind him of just how awesome he thinks I am.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    Time to get a new boyfriend, or boyfriends.

    The writing is on the wall.

    If you want to date him, then make sure you leave all your options open. He sure has.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    There's nothing wrong with a guy having female friends but his words indicate that he's being shady about it.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
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    He has met someone that has peaked his interest and is letting you know that, since you are long distance. He is being honest, and basically leaving the door open for you to go out with someone else, too. My NUMBER ONE rule in dating now, is no LDR. They may work for some, but I will never do one again.
    "My requirements for a man are simple; no man-boobs, nothing abnormally small or large, and no third anything...." ~ Hot in Cleveland ~

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