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Thread: How often do you get oral sex from your partner?

  1. #1
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    How often do you get oral sex from your partner?

    I want to know if there is something wrong with my wife or whether this is just normal.

    I'm a 35 year old man and have been married for almost 10 years. I get oral sex only for a moment during foreplay and before intercourse, but I never got just oral sex from my wife although I would really love to from time to time.

    My wife has no libido and has sex with me once every three months. She says she is very happy with me and doesn't need more. But I am way from being sexually satisfied. I offer to go down on her very often, but she says she's not interested. She also refuses to go to counceling saying that we already have a wonderful relationship.

    My friend tells me that his wife gives him a blow job to completion 3 to 4 times a week. I believe him. But who is the exception here? me or him? and in this case can I do something about this? Is my situation normal? Shall I search for my sexual satisfaction elsewhere?

  2. #2
    Gold Member Sim54's Avatar
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    Wow, this is tough.
    First, there is no normal, but your wife expecting you to be satisfied with sex 3 or 4 times a year is really pushing it. That to me is pretty selfish, but you can't make her have sex if she doesn't want it.
    Have you told her that you are not sexually satisfied?
    I think that you need to somehow find a way to communicate how this affects you.

    I would't go elsewhere for sex right now, but if your wife isn't interested in give you pleasure, then perhaps you need to discuss how you can get your needs met.
    I think that if you are REALLY committed to healing a relationship, then you have to be totally committed to implementing sustained growth in your life; healing your hurts, and developing strong character- me.

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    I agree, very selfish of her. Do you really have sex only once every 3 months?! I'm surprised you tolerated it as long as you did. Don't cheat (it's a cowardly/selfish act)...talk to your wife and if she is not willing to change, this relationship should be over.

  4. #4
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    I understand but let's put intercourse aside for a moment.

    My question to men is: How often do you get a blow job from your wife?

    My question to women is: How often do you give complete oral sex to your husband?

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  6. #5
    i understand how you feel. i really respect you for being tolerated. you probably have to talk to her. maybe she can change.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member d24's Avatar
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    wait... holdon ... you get oral during foreplay? wow, my STBX never did that for me.
    I'd have traded 3 months of what little sex I did have for just a tiny bit of oral/hand/boob relief.

    But in general... from what you have posted I believe her sex drive is very low. I think the national average (according to some random poll I saw in a magazine recently, FHM?) is 40 times a year in the UK which is just under once a week? Not sure if I buy that though, I think it's a brevado thing that makes men say they get it more than they do. Who knows? I've never been in a relationship where oral sex has been on the menu.

    I'm in your boat though, possibly half a dozen times since I met her 6 years ago I think?
    It's the thing I'm looking forward to the most when I start dating again.... *dreams*

    Talk to her about it, make her understand this is a problem for you, and see what she does about it
    "You act as though you haven't seen trees bow to an unborn child before?"

  8. #7

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    When I was in a relationship, I gave him blowjobs whenever he asked for it (never said no) and sometimes I asked to give it myself. But he wasn't a huge of blowjobs, he always wanted intercourse instead. Not all women are like me tho.

  9. #8
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    There's none at all in my marriage, but my friend's husband gets them almost daily. I wouldn't mind once in a blue moon, though he isn't interested, but I don't think I could handle daily.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Huntress0527's Avatar
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    I don't think there is no norm when it comes to how many times. Some couples may be every day of the week while others could be once a week. Also depends on preference. It's what the couple compromises. In your case there is no compromise, she is satisfied while you are not. Time to sit down and have a heart to heart.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member sidehop's Avatar
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    I agree, it's a matter of communication; if there's a deep psychological reasoning or health issues that's holding her back it's something you two need to discuss. Of course without any finger pointing or pressuring her for an answer.

    Do let her know how you feel about her aside from this issue and keep the option open as far as her seeing a doctor or a professional counselor (together or not). She'll likely consider the issue to be a stress factor on your part rather than feeling like you're nagging or pressuring her.

    Good luck!
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