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Thread: He says he loves me yet wants to be single

  1. #1

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    He says he loves me yet wants to be single

    When I look into his eyes I see that he truly loves me and I feel so incredibly lucky to have someone like him. Our relationship had been rocky in the past but now it was so much different; for the first time I felt like he really did care for and love me, but it was not until last week that I began to question it. Last week he broke up with me on the pretenses of him wanting to be single. I say pretenses only because Iím a girl who is scared and hurt and doesnít want to believe all that he has told me. He says that he wants to work on himself; to become a better person and grow. I understand that completely and have no choice but to let him go. Words cannot describe how much I love him and thatís one of the reasons why I am posting this. I donít know what to think or how to feel. I would like to possibly date but am too scared of rejection to even bring it up with him. In my irrational girl mind I see it as him wanting to be with other girls. Though it is completely understandable the idea of him searching for other girls just bothers the hell out of me due to him saying he loves me. I guess it is just something I will never understand. I want to stay really close with him (he is my best friend) yet Iím terrified of the day he gets another girl. Can anyone give some advice on what I should do?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Jd1983's Avatar
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    Honestly, I would just let him be.

    He's the one who mentioned that he wanted to break up with you. To be honest, I think there's more to it than he lets on. However, if you do eventually want to start dating other people, then you are free to do so (considering you are no longer together).

    However, I think it's best to just give yourself time on your own to sort out your feelings.

    Hang in there.

  3. #3
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    I want to stay really close with him (he is my best friend) yet I’m terrified of the day he gets another girl. Can anyone give some advice on what I should do?

    well, don't do this ie try to stay his friend. That never works and always ends badly for the dumpee (there are countless threads about it here)

    It's not unreasonable to think he wants to go pursue other girls. I mean, duh of course that's what he's going to do. That doesn't mean he didn't once love you though.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
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    Someone can love you, but wanting to be WITH you, and to make you theirs is a totally different story. When someone tells you something that you don't want to hear, you must accept it.

    Don't stay friends or hang around. You will only get hurt. I've done it. Many people here have too. It always ends in disaster. You're better off cutting ALL contact so that you are free to be with someone that will want to be exclusive to you. Read this thread - http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381011
    No Contact or GTFO!

    Reasons why you shouldn't be friends/in contact with your ex!: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381011

    Changing your social media/computer to promote healing: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=382739

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  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by CGeny View Post
    When I look into his eyes I see that he truly loves me and I feel so incredibly lucky to have someone like him. Our relationship had been rocky in the past but now it was so much different; for the first time I felt like he really did care for and love me, but it was not until last week that I began to question it. Last week he broke up with me on the pretenses of him wanting to be single. I say pretenses only because I’m a girl who is scared and hurt and doesn’t want to believe all that he has told me. He says that he wants to work on himself; to become a better person and grow. I understand that completely and have no choice but to let him go. Words cannot describe how much I love him and that’s one of the reasons why I am posting this. I don’t know what to think or how to feel. I would like to possibly date but am too scared of rejection to even bring it up with him. In my irrational girl mind I see it as him wanting to be with other girls. Though it is completely understandable the idea of him searching for other girls just bothers the hell out of me due to him saying he loves me. I guess it is just something I will never understand. I want to stay really close with him (he is my best friend) yet I’m terrified of the day he gets another girl. Can anyone give some advice on what I should do?
    I'm sorry to say it, but if he loved you he would be with you. Period! This nonsense about finding himself is just that, nonsense. If you love someone, you would never risk losing them by taking some time off.
    By telling you he still loves you, he is stringing you along, so you will not move on. Please do not waste anymore time with this guy and find someone who loves you and wants you.

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