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Texted the EX.. Feel so dumb


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Well.. We broke up in February.. and im still wrestling with the fact.. Its sooo ridiculous.

 

I guess we all have our ups and downs.. Sometimes i go for days striving from the fact that im able to go out with my friends, and have a good time, and text boys and dress pretty... But then out of nowhere i hit a huge low, as if it has happenned yesterday.. AGAIN.. Then i go and do something stupid like texting him..

 

Last week, i texted him that it was my birthday and i was suprised that I hadnt heard of him, and if he could stop ignoring me already.. Then he replied and he said he wasnt trying to be an A55hole but that he just didnt want to fight with me. I told him that i wouldnt give us a reason to fight with him, and that being friends was better then being ennemies.. He just said that it wasnt just me.. and that.. ya okay, we could be friends or okay..

 

I left it to that.. Today i texted him just a hi.. and he didnt respond, so i said Okay then! Take Care!

 

I feel like such a loser right now.. omg... im so embarrassed. I feel so unimportant.

 

I saw my friend have a fight wiht her bf this weekend, where she got mad and he responded by telling her the next day he hadnt eaten all day and he loved her.. Its crushed me because my babe never fought for me that way.. I know its a good thing its over if he never did. But its sucks because I love him. Im really sad and feel oh-so small. I dont know why its so important to me for things to come from him.. Its so sad.

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its not easy, I too have failed and either texted or called my ex. each time just ended up getting hurt again.

 

Yes like you it does suck that the person you love doesnt feel the same or show any interest and to accept that is not easy, and you want them to show some interest to make you feel better and wanted. I thin kthe same as you.

 

hang in there and just try keep yourself busy. you say you can goes days feeling fine, thats brilliant-just try to keep yourself busy and when the thought comes around about contacting him...DONT...just think how * * * * ty he has made you feel and think if he was worth anything then he would still be with you, or making some form of effort to reconcil things.

 

keep your chin up

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The thing that might help is to not have or hold any expectations of him. I know you're bummed you didn't hear right back from him, but you kind of fed into what he was getting at last week and that was that he didn't want to fight with you. As frustrating and hurt as you were, your text back to him when you hadn't heard from his is putting expectations on him that every time he hears from you, you are somewhat expecting to hear from him immediately. Maybe he didn't have his phone, or was taking a shower, or at work or class. Ya know what I'm saying? You're trying too hard, and you're trying to force something (friendship) that needs to grow from a seed, and not the tree of 'we had been in a relationship' before. He obviously knows you enough to know that maybe you're not ready to handle a friendship, and/or sees you still do have feelings for him. So you need to cut yourself a break and just concentrate on moving past it all before you concentrate on a friendship. It's not easy remaining friends with an ex, it isn't. At least not until you've healed enough, and even then you think you have and realize you haven't. It's wanting them in your life because they mean something to you BUT the context of them being in your life 'now' is as a friend,and nothing more, and although there are expectations being friends are to abide by and decencies, etc. within friendships BUT, just because he is your ex doesn't put him in a position to have to be your friend and treat you better just because you two dated. Look at his other friendships and compare. And if you see he goes beyond for you than them, then you know he cares about you a lot because you two dated. If he does the same as them, then you know he sees and cares for you as a friend. But if he does less for you than them, then you know he's doing this to appease to you or so that if it means you'll back off a bit, and ease your mind, then he's doing it for those reasons alone.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well that night we did end up texting and fighting.. And im actually quite happy with what happenned.. He was totally being aloof and uncaring.. So i told him.. That it was sucky that he didnt want to remain friends but that was that and i wont contact him anymore.. And that if ever he does change his mind I will be there.

 

I know what your thinking. OH godd.. you look pathetic he will use you as his safety blanket. but no. It just clicked in my mind.

It made me realise that i have always done so much for him. And I am tired of it. And this is my way out. I am happy that i can hold my head up high for being a nice person. And I realise that there is someone soooo much better out there for me. Someone that will treat me the way i deserved.. And its exciting to know that im gonna feel that again, and with someone that feels it with me too..

 

I feel great since then.. I feel liberated and that i no longer owe anything anymore..

 

there is hope id ont have the secret answer but.. it sure feels great.

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First off your not dumb! Thats not fair to put yourself down! Everyone has moments where they want to be with that person or want to hear from them! I broke up with my ex in december and still wish from time to time that she would pick up the phone! But you know what nothing good can come of her talking to me! The past is the past for a reason! It does take time to get to that point but under no circumstance are you dumb for wanting to talk! Keep yout head up! I know its hard! Trust me! But it will pay off eventually! Take care! And smile! =)

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  • 2 months later...
Like why would he even reply `okay``

 

Maybe "okay" was at the top of his list of "quick text" phrases so he just grabbed that one because it was the most convenient.

 

I may be wrong but my guess is as good as any other one you might get and equally unimportant in the scheme of things.

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