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When do men miss their exes?


PrettyGood

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I general people tend to cruise on a breakup-wave when they dump someone...then when that wave crash into land and it ain`t so fun no more their true feelings surface. Most ex`s do come back, if you leave them alone for some time... However in my experience I would say in general about men that they are more likely to fall into the catagory of "out of sight out of mind" compared to woman...

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I general people tend to cruise on a breakup-wave when they dump someone...then when that wave crash into land and it ain`t so fun no more their true feelings surface. Most ex`s do come back, if you leave them alone for some time... However in my experience I would say in general about men that they are more likely to fall into the catagory of "out of sight out of mind" compared to woman...

 

Out of sight out of mind means the less you see or hear from your ex girlfriend (the dumpee) the easier it is forget about her?

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Yeah I believe it is so...if it ain`t a long-time relationship like 3+ years. Then I think it becomes alot more complicated for both parts. But the oh-Im-so-happy-alone part goes for everyone who breaks up...again in my experience. I once left the girl Im now "waiting" for...I had a real energy-boost just after and changed alot of things. Then when things went back to "normal" I missed her again and contacted her and we got back together.

 

I think girls process things differently after breakup...They miss the feeling of having the man they love...as guys tend to miss the precence of the woman we love...it`s a theory at least. Let the woman express themselves perhaps

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Then when things went back to "normal" I missed her again and contacted her and we got back together.

 

And how long did it take for you to 'party out' all the happiness until you began missing her? Was it several weeks, several months or several years after? I'm just asking out of my curiosity

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There's really noway to tell. What your looking for from us is a time frame from us so you can start counting the days until he comes back. The truth is he might not and we certainly don't know when. Your best bet is to just work on being happy with out him and figure out what went wrong. That way if he does come back you can work on things with him or you'll be more prepared to be in a relationship with the next guy.

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And how long did it take for you to 'party out' all the happiness until you began missing her? Was it several weeks, several months or several years after? I'm just asking out of my curiosity

 

I broke up in early september and we had LC. I still loved her to death...then in january we stoped having contact (no agreement) and after a month I think or maybe 6 weeks. I felt rapidly more misserable until I finally understood why...I missed her in my life. My happiness-part of this period lasted perhaps for two months... Then it slowly went downwards... Just to add some confusion, the happiness-part wasn`t really a happy period...it was shallow in many ways, but I started working out and took real good care of my apperance and I still try doing that. I think that and the fact that I realised how deeply I love her was the best part. Well, now she is gone (after 2 years) and Im in her shoes

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And how about if you begged/pleaded the day after break up then went NC for a month then tried to reconnect and asked once again if we can work it out and they said no. Since then I have been doing NC for 1 month and don't plan on contacting him again unless he does. Is there still a chance he might miss me later in the future? Or does he now hate me? He did say he is open to friendship as more time has passed. I'm just wondering because I know he is out doing the 'dating' and 'party' thing, how can he have time to even think about me. We were together for 1 1/2 years and broke up 3 months now.

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Heartbroken30, I know it's an old truth and you already know about it, but NC is the best thing. Because no matter WHEN you contact him AGAIN and later AGAIN you don't let him to miss you. IMO he needs a LONG time without you to miss you. So it won't help if you try to keep NC and then try to contact him again. The more you chase for him - the more he runs from you. Stop chasing and he will stop running. You CAN'T do anything to MAKE him return to you, but you CAN make him miss you more which leads to a wish to return to you. And it's a long time where YOU need to change. Not for him. For yourself. You need to refresh your clothing, hairstyle, your body care, maybe go to the gym, start doing things which could improve you physically and mentally. Start dating - don't rush all the things with new people. If you're in some dating site or any other social site - make your new photos where you are really happy being yourself (without him). Don't pretend, try for yourself. Because he may never return to the OLD YOU. And when he writes you - don't sound too enthusiastically or surprised that he wrote. Be yourself. Don't even start talking about the relationships or feelings. Don't EVER ask him if he wants to return or not. And if he suggest you to be friends - refuse, turn around and go back to your life without him. Maybe it will help him understand that you changed and MAYBE just MAYBE he will rethink his decision to re-conciliate. But it's a real long time of changing yourself. So 1 month is not enough just to write and ask him if he wants to return or not. That's why he said strict NO. But that's just my opinion, you know.

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And how about if you begged/pleaded the day after break up then went NC for a month then tried to reconnect and asked once again if we can work it out and they said no. Since then I have been doing NC for 1 month and don't plan on contacting him again unless he does. Is there still a chance he might miss me later in the future? Or does he now hate me? He did say he is open to friendship as more time has passed. I'm just wondering because I know he is out doing the 'dating' and 'party' thing, how can he have time to even think about me. We were together for 1 1/2 years and broke up 3 months now.

It`s so hard to say... I think, if he loves you he will contact you. But, it`s not in your hands no more. You can`t push, and you cant sit and do nothing or else you`ll be a wreck. There are success-stories and there are not. In the end, you decide your value. If your value is sitting and waiting for a guy who is partying/dating other girls, well then that is your choice. Either way, since there is nothing you can do to get him back, I suggest that you do something for you and get yourself together. Then at least you won`t waste your time anyway if he stick by his decition or comes back.

 

Im totally in your shoes now. But I will stay NC bc I respect what my ex has decided, and she knows that if she wants back then it`s her call just as it was mine before. So now, even if I have tough days, I try to keep going...keep my value, and then one day, if I`ll have to let go. Well, then that is what I have to do. The difference between me and you is probably experience, and the courage to think "the unthinkable" She/he will never come back. PM me if you need to

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And how about if you begged/pleaded the day after break up then went NC for a month then tried to reconnect and asked once again if we can work it out and they said no. Since then I have been doing NC for 1 month and don't plan on contacting him again unless he does. Is there still a chance he might miss me later in the future? Or does he now hate me? He did say he is open to friendship as more time has passed. I'm just wondering because I know he is out doing the 'dating' and 'party' thing, how can he have time to even think about me. We were together for 1 1/2 years and broke up 3 months now.

I don't know. Anything could happen in the future, but since he has already told you twice that he doesn't see a future with you (once when he dumped you - that's a big sign - and the second time when he said he didn't want to work it out), then I think it would best if you accept his decision, AND respect it by not bugging him. Make choices to move on and if he realises that he wants you, HE will let YOU know.

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Thanks guys for the responses. I just feel like the only reason we broke up is because of really bad timing on my part. I had just moved out on my own and didn't think ahead before I did and got into a bit of a financial rut and could not go out and do things as often as he'd like, also I hated my job. After a year I moved back in with my parents and he also lives with his mom so now we went to not seeing each other as much and no sleep overs. The weekends at my own place were amazing...the distance came when I moved back home. It really affected us. But we both knew it was going to be hard and both said it is only temporary until we get our own place. Well he couldn't wait it out. He said he lost feelings and felt we were growing apart. We had amazing chemistry and connection. I was his longest relationship outside of his first girlfriend many years ago whom cheated on him. I do believe he took the easy way out. I have since then gotten out of my financial rut and started to really be able to live again. I am already fit but still go to the gym and started running outside, I joined a martial arts class, I got my motorcycle license, I am changing careers and started volunteering with habit for humanity. I think a month ago he said No to me because he is afraid things will be the same. I realized I need to make myself happy in all aspects of life before I can make anyone else happy. And I am doing that. I am in a much better place. But I know in 6 months I will be in an ever better place. I do believe he is the love of my life, I have never felt this way about any man in my life. So I am willing to wait it out and in the process do everything to change for the better. And I hope one day I will be able to show him the New me. I know he is out dating other girls or girl but that is given we've been broken up for 3 months. I can't expect him to not date. I guess I just hope within time he realizes what he let go. But I will stick to NC till then. Is it true the longer time apart and space between you the better chance of reconciliation?

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Is it true the longer time apart and space between you the better chance of reconciliation?

If it is true love there ain`t such thing as obstacles (in my view) But you don`t know if he loves you anymore, so even if you are going NC to get him back now. Be open to the fact that you might need to let go forever. As I said, its just not in your hands anymore. So focus on the things you can change and don`t think about the things you can`t.

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Also, regarding the title of your thread. People can miss you and love you, but wanting to be WITH you is a totally different story. He might miss you, but that doesn't mean he wants to come back.

 

This!!! Chances are he will miss you at some point, but the chances of it being enough to want you back aren't as great. It takes a lot more than missing someone for reconciliation to occur. They have to want to put in the effort into actively changing what went wrong in the relationship the first time around, otherwise even if he does miss you and makes an impulsive attempt to reconcile, you will still end up in the exact same spot you are in now if the initial problems weren't resolved. To answer your question more directly though, I have seen several posts on here where they claim that men who are dumpers generally start missing their ex anywhere from the 3-8 week mark, but who knows how much validity that holds.

 

From personal experience, eventually I have missed every one of my ex's at some point or another. Does that mean I wanted to get back together with them? No, not really, all it took was for me to remember all the things that were wrong in the relationship to remind myself why I didn't want to get back together with them. I may have missed them, but it wasn't enough. As a recent dumpee, my ex contacted me after five weeks. Is he missing me? I'm sure he is. Did he come out and say he wanted to get back together with me? No, he didn't. So... he can miss me all he wants, but it doesn't change anything or our situation.

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When they're so horny they think they'll lose their minds if they don't get with a woman now and not a moment sooner, I believe. When they realize they can't orgasm with their new girlfriend. When they're tired of taking care of themselves...Well, that's just my experience, anyway.

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Also, regarding the title of your thread. People can miss you and love you, but wanting to be WITH you is a totally different story. He might miss you, but that doesn't mean he wants to come back.

 

Yeah. Lots of people need to know that - [i love you/I miss] you does not mean [i want to get back with you.]

 

dramallama I think that is a female thing. I think if a guy really miss a girl he`ll want to come back... woman however are more considerate when it comes to future-plans and if things realisticly can work out.

 

I'm a guy and I really miss my ex. (The sex)

 

But no way in hell would I want her back.

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Just my 2 cents, I dumped 2 girls in my life and was dumped 5 times (3 of which I did the slow fade to make them dump me, I know I was immature back then).

 

The twice that I dumped the girls because things were getting serious and I had commitment problems back in college, and I started to miss the first one (dated 4+ months) around 6 weeks mark and started to miss the second one (dated 7 months) around 3 months mark.

 

The first girl went NC straight away and I really started to miss her companionship in 6 week mark and I tried to contact her and she did not want anything to do with me by then (so I guess thats that)

 

The second girl did the begging and guilt trip routine which only made me ran away further at first, she started NC 2 weeks after the BU so took me 2.5 months after that to miss her (and for the initial joy of being single in college to die down).

 

I guess what I am trying to say is, you really need space to miss that somebody, give the dumper space and let them miss you. Trust me, if the relationship ended when cheating is not involved, the dumper will remember the good times they had with you, at least thats a good start to any potential reconciliation.

 

Just my 2 cents

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