Jump to content

Have Ex's Facebook Password.. Curiosity is Killing the Cat


Recommended Posts

After never been told exactly why my EX GF broke up with me after being engaged and 4 years later, I wanted answers and manage to get her passwords to e-mail and facebook account even though she changed her passwords. (I work in the IT field so i'm really good on finding information) I finally found she cheated on me a week before breaking up with me and had the whole break up was planned for weeks (see my other posts) through her messages to this guy.

 

She has no idea I know anything or that I have this type of information.

 

shes telling the person all of my personal information as well as hers and it really hurts me inside but for some reason I keep wanting to check it to see what she is saying about me now to him and how she is doing (hopefully bad to be honest haha)

 

anyone else ever been in this position? I know if I read it I will just get hurt more but if I don't I will sit her and wonder

 

I have done EVERY other step to move on! contacts, phone, pictures, items, but I can't let this one thing go to heal.. I mean I am super glad I found it as now I have closure to heal since she wasn't a good enough person to close it for me.. but not I have this itch I cant scratch and I know its not healthy but how can I stop?

 

After four years I gave this girl everything she could wish for and she talks about me like I am the scum of the earth..

 

HELP

Link to comment

Hmm could you help me break in my exes FB too?

 

Hey sometimes the cat needs to get a reality jolt especially after an important relationship. Its not easy to move on so easily when unanswered questions are running thru your mind.

Know that your ex needs to mature and whomever she is with won't fare better,people have ingrained behavioural patterns always.

Link to comment

If you want to get down to her level then I guess no one can stop you. But it is going to make you feel miserable. And do be careful ever considering accessing anyone else's private account as it can be considered misdemeanor if not a felony in some states. We aren't in the 90's any more. They take these things very seriously.

 

link removed

Link to comment

Thank you all for your words and fast replies, it really does help hearing it from other people! I will be bookmarking this page and every time I want to scratch that itch I will just come back here and look.

 

In my mind i'm hoping that I will go on there and she will be doing horrible but I doubt that is the case (she broke up with me, she cheated on me etc) guess it boils down to is if she is hurting as much as I am right now, even though I know the answer deep down. I still want to hold onto that last bit of contact.

 

But like you guys said, nothing good can come from it and I will be prolonging my healing process. This was my first real long term relationship and it doesn't help me being alone, on top of losing almost all of my friends. So I don't have many people to talk too anymore.

 

How do you deal with starting a completely new life with all pain and no one to talk to? The thing that I miss the most is having a female companion to go have a starbucks with or watch a movie or talk about how this guy at work was a jerk today etc. I guess i'm also curious if she's doing it now with him.

 

edit: and ya sidehop I do understand that it is breaking the law which is another reason I don't want to do it, and havn't told anyone else about it besides right now

 

but again thanks guys for keeping my head up, I love this forum it has been so helpful. I guess I got what I needed to know and should just let it go...

Link to comment

This place rocks for sure so make sure every time you are feeling down, you come here to talk.

 

Wishing someone else unhappiness isn't going to make you feel better. Her unhappiness will come from her own Karma, I wouldn't be suprised if she fell head over heels for this guy and he does to her what she did to you. It comes full circle eventually.

Link to comment

It does suck not being able to talk it out loud or even pour your heart out. And sometimes you just have to take drastic action to keep yourself busy. It could be joining any local activities or some sponsored event. Or it may be volunteering to help people that truly needs a little bit of your time.

 

Sometimes it's easy to get sucked in with the problems you have and unable to see clearly ahead of yourself or people around you. But by breaking out from that routine and doing something that you can truly appreciate and if anything see the situation from a different perspective it'll greatly help to heal and move on.

 

Besides, people like her who spread lies and purposely go out of their way to hurt (emotionally or physically) another innocent victim (you) will eventually taste their own medicine. There's always a cause and effect just like karma.

Link to comment
This place rocks for sure so make sure every time you are feeling down, you come here to talk.

 

Wishing someone else unhappiness isn't going to make you feel better. Her unhappiness will come from her own Karma, I wouldn't be suprised if she fell head over heels for this guy and he does to her what she did to you. It comes full circle eventually.

 

I fully understand and agree! I just really wish I had friends like I did before I got involved with her right now to get my mind off all this going on but I am glad I found this forum thats for sure!

 

and nocontactqueen I have actually thought about that as well but again it is breaking the law and i'm sure she will know who did it if I do something like that I could actually take over her e-mail and facebook and delete everything as well if I wanted lol but again I shouldn't stoop to her level even as much as I want too I have to try and be the bigger person but trust me I have contemplated it!

 

Edit: to be honest what I really wanted to do was go in her account send him a message saying "stop talking to me, I am getting back together with my ex" and delete his profile haha.. so tempting but so wrong.. I know it, but man would vengeance be sweet..

 

I just hate how she now has all these guys going after her and good friends and family and I have very little anymore, my life literally went from having everything to nothing overnight and thats on top of being the one dumped, Makes me wonder where the karma is in that, ya know?

Link to comment

All I can tell you is just walk away from this with your head held high. It's never a good thing to snoop on your ex because when you do find answers your going to regret knowing. By all means just let this girl go. She's bad mouthing you behind your back and the fact she has cheated on you is enough.... Start the healing process the path you are going down by just keeping tabs on her will only delay you and cause you so much heartache. Stop stalking her facebook, block her and get on with you life. It's going to be a rough road ahead of you but you will find someone alot better.

 

 

Just take it day by day and stop these habbits it's not healthy.

Link to comment
All I can tell you is just walk away from this with your head held high. It's never a good thing to snoop on your ex because when you do find answers your going to regret knowing. By all means just let this girl go. She's bad mouthing you behind your back and the fact she has cheated on you is enough.... Start the healing process the path you are going down by just keeping tabs on her will only delay you and cause you so much heartache. Stop stalking her facebook, block her and get on with you life. It's going to be a rough road ahead of you but you will find someone alot better.

 

 

Just take it day by day and stop these habbits it's not healthy.

 

I completely agree and I know what I am thinking is unhealthy ive gone through every other step to take her out of my life but still can't let go of this last object! I used to be one of those people who never understood how people got so crazy after a breakup.. boy did I learn my lesson fast and it hit me like a brick wall!

 

I have always been a believer in life experiences is what makes a person who they are and how open minded they can be. But how do you trust another girl after this? For the first week I was blaming myself and very depressed now that I found out what was actually going on and she couldn't have the nerve to atleast tell me! it has now gone to anger and denial, I just wish I could make her feel the way I do right now. I know that resentment is unhealthy but venting my emotions even on this forum do help so much..

 

I am sure all these feelings are normal but I have never gone through it all atleast nothing this serious and long, and have no idea how to control it.

 

but like a friend once told me that also got cheated on, I WILL get over her eventually I WILL find someone else better I WILL have learned a lot about what I want and don't want in another girl, I now know mistakes and have learned quite a bit in these 4 years but even him.. 2 years later still refuses to get to attached to another women. Because the farther you keep them the less you will get hurt.

 

again thank you all and much

Link to comment

Dude literally, I have been doing the same thing. I got my vengeance by finding out the truth. She claimed I was the best blah blah in the beginning but that was just to hook line and sinker me into being easy. When it didn't become a challenge anymore, she got bored, got her plan b guy situated two months before she dumped me, all the while pretending we were in this perfect relationship we never argued and she BARELY complained. I wanted to delete everything and say "lying is a * * * * * isn't it". But I chose to be mature, and let things take their course. She did change her password, why? Idk, but it wasn't because I made my curiosity completely obvious, or at least i don't think lol. Get those old friends back, love your family. If you are in school or have a good job or both, focus and make sure you stay on that path of success. Karma will come around one day and you will have your accomplishments to lift you to your vengeance.

Link to comment

wow that almost sounds pinpoint to my situation!

 

and yes the whole thing where I have the power to message this guy tons of stuff through her account, delete him off the account and delete any traces of the messages is really tempting to when she wakes up one day and is like "wow he stopped talking to me for no reason, I really messed my life up" would be all the vengeance I would need.. but I know I will never get that justice or at least will never know about it...

 

Problem too is I just took a little vacation from work this week and we had plans together.. now I am sitting at home, alone for days with all this free time and nothing to do. Which is not helping the situation right now

Link to comment

talk to friends and seeing a therapist will help you man. Talk to family if you can and just start taking things down that remind you of her. BLOCK HER on facebook, you do not need to know whats going on. Take the photos down, and just have a strong head on your shoulders.

 

Your me 7 months ago, things do get better just takes alot of time and distractions. Don't even talk to this narcissistic individual.

Link to comment

Reasons for her actions will never be justified. I don't know about you, but my ex jump into a relationship with me after being single for a month or so, and then jump shipped for another guy. I know it is hard, I am almost two months into my breakup and I am so happy. I was on the receiving end of a very selfish one sided relationship where I sacrificed my needs for this family friend that I trusted and knew for 10+ years. Needless to say, my vengeance is knowing she is jumping from one to another not figuring out her problems, while I and hopefully you will take the much needed time in NC, and really develop the self awareness needed. It sucks, but love blinds us. Remember it and use what we have made ourselves aware of in our alone time to help better our next relationship. I may not be the best person to give this advice, but I have made myself aware of the faults and the strengths and what I need to do to make it better.

 

You will get your justice trust me, if your situation is like mine, she is dating a complete tool with no ambition who just wants to party, have a good time, smoke a lot of pot, drink a lot of alcohol, and always there to put her on her back when she wants it. Trust me, I know its hard to imagine, but * * * * her really. You don't need it. She is the one who failed to communicate like an adult with someone she apparently loved, and she was too immature to tell you the truth and be honest. People like that are terrible people who are simply either so lost they don't fully imagine what they are doing, or that they are just that selfish and sickening people that they just don't care. Grass may be greener, but there is always * * * * to be found and it always has to be mowed.

 

Because you have the password to emails and Facebook, I cannot help you because I had that problem too. I got lucky and she finally changed it, but for you it will be hard and will take a lot of self control.

Link to comment

I'm a network engineer... I have her email and phone passwords. I caught her lying, used my intuition and then did what I had to do before I broke up with her to know I was doing the right thing. We talked for a week after, while she was running back to her ex. I caught her lying a month before I did any of that. I checked her phone constantly for a week and her email. She would talk to me, then her ex, then me, then her ex. All I had to see was an email that said I love you and that was that. I made it a goal not to check it anymore and the urge went away. Make it your goal to stop this behavior pronto, it will only make it hurt worse.

 

It's easier to let go once you don't know anymore. Also, she is her own person and you need to worry about YOU now. Not her anymore. They were both cheaters, karma is a * * * * * . It will come back to her. Just move on and keep your head up high. You now have full closure. There's nothing else to gain from looking at this.

 

I agree with everything blackhawks said as well.

Link to comment
I caught her lying, used my intuition and then did what I had to do before I broke up with her to know I was doing the right thing. We talked for a week after, while she was running back to her ex. I caught her lying a month before I did any of that. I checked her phone constantly for a week and her email. She would talk to me, then her ex, then me, then her ex.

 

Man this is exactly my story, how do they do that?

I never knew a human being can be capable of doing that honestly!

Link to comment

Hey OP I also had (still do) my exe's FB password and when she broke up with me, I would log in to her account every single day. Its something Im not proud of but my reasoning was this; Now I can find out the exact reason why she left me, and perhaps eventually she'll msg one of her friends and tell them how much she misses me and made a big mistake. Boy was I wrong!

 

It was the most PAINFUL thing I could've done to myself. I got NOTHING out of it. Some of my friends would be envious of the fact that I had her password but let me tell you, its not such a good thing. Its like a double edged sword. On one hand you can keep track of your ex and see what they are doing without you and try to get some answers and on the other hand you start to see them for what they trule have become and thats what will hurt the most..

 

There were days where I was literally crying over the computer while seeing what she was doing without me. At one point she was even saying all these false negative things about me. She told one friend that I kept calling her from a private number to harass her (I never even ONCE called her after the BU so that hurt alot) and that was just the tip of the icerberg..

 

One time it was so unbearable that I actually threw up. So take it from me Virus, dont go on it anymore, please. I did it for the first 3 months of the breakup and I havent been on it since (its been 6 months now of no fb stalking). Is it hard? It sure was at the beginning but trust me when I tell you this, you're better off not knowing the crap they are doing since its none of your concern anymore, plus I was starting to feel like a real stalker and I knew I had to stop which I did. I dont know if she has changed her password or not since I last logged in nor do I care but you have to stop it. Its not worth all the pain, trust me..

Link to comment

Virus:

 

From experience, the best thing you can do is get rid of the passwords and block yourself. I had the password to my ex's email and i was curious after she ended things with me via a gchat text. No explanation, just " its not working out." Then she turned her phone off, and left the country for 2 weeks. This was out of the blue, and we had been dating for 2 1/2 years. I knew deep down there was another reason. So i checked her email, and there it was. She and this guy were sending pics of herself back and forth 1 day later. Miss you's 2 days later. Had dates planned and lined up within 5 days. At the same time she would respond to my email about what went wrong with " im too busy to talk right now." But what she was really doing was talking to him, and ignoring me, and leading me to believe that the whole thing was my fault. I had the guy's information and had an email written up to him telling him things about her that she wouldnt want him to know. I was ready to sabotage that whole thing. But then i said * * * * it. Got rid of everything. It would have only felt good temporarily.

 

I still have the images burned into my brain... Believe me, you dont want to keep looking. Soon enough you will see something that you cant forget.

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

I know this is months after your post and you're probably fine now but I just wanted to let you know I'm in the same situation. 3 year of bliss, happiness and perfection and then out of the blue she leaves me for my best friend. I started no contact and of course she contacted me within a month saying "Wow I haven't talked to you in so long. I've really been missing you." The pain of someone being so good to you and then flip flopping is unbelievable. Of course now I have her email and FB password and checked once because of curiosity and found out she and my best friend were having "great sex" etc. I felt terrible. But now I know the whole truth. After her "missing you" comment and talking to her gf's about "missing me" I realized it was only hurting so I stopped.

 

If there is anything to feel good about then it's to know it's happened to a lot of us and life goes on. It's so hard for me to forget her completely but a strong person would and I know I'm strong. Glad/Not Glad to hear you're in the same situation. Hang tough. We'll all get through this... although after this amount of time you may be OK.

 

I consider knowing the password as a challenge. It takes a lot of willpower to get over something like this but it takes an even stronger person to resist using the password to unlock the answers. I know I'll feel good about myself if I can hold strong.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...