Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 52

Thread: never cheated on bf of 6 years, now im having an affair

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Omaha
    Posts
    234
    Gender
    Female

    never cheated on bf of 6 years, now im having an affair

    story : my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 years. we both love each other very much and have never cheated on each other before. we are super close and are best friends, and convinced we are gonna be together forever.

    but about a month ago i started cheating. ive been having an affair with another guy that im falling for. he knows everything about my boyfriend and hes actually been hanging out with our friends with over a year now but just recently showed interest.

    ive been staying with him every night for a little over a week now and we are developing strong feelings for each other. hes convinced im gonna leave my bf for him, and ive tried to but its so hard to officially end things between us.

    ive tried telling my bf that i need a break and i do believe we'll be together forever, but that we should both be single one more time before we meet back up for good. he says he can tell ive been different and he knows i dont want to be with him anymore. he doesnt know theres someone else and i keep telling him i dont want to break up to be with other guys, just to be alone and have space (which he always gives me when i want) but the thought of not having him around scares me because we've been together for so long. i love him so much and there are things that i just cant compare to anyone else because, well its him and we've been building this for so long.

    i have no idea why i started cheating. idk if i was bored or what. i know our relationship is already ruined because of my cheating so it's almost like i have to.

    i have to choose between the two very soon, and i have no idea what im gonna do.
    what if my affair is just fun because its new and exciting? what if i immediately regret breaking up with my bf and he moves on? all these what ifs are killing me and i really need some advice! any advice is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member iBroken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    3,305
    Gender
    Female
    Stop being a coward and tell him the truth - let him make the decision for you........

    You are only making this worse by lying to him and saying that you need to be alone for space when in reality, you were not likely going to feel this way if AP wasnt in the picture. He deserves to know that you are laying in some other mans arms every night. He also deserves someone who will respect the boundaries of a relationship.
    Keep Calm and Carry On

  3. #3
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1,270
    man this is real bad. i have a question for you. if you break up with him. and tell him you want to be single how do you think he is going to feel when he finds out about the other person?imean imagine this is you. how would you feel. put yourself in his shoes. and also if you wanted to be with some one else you should of never cheated. because if some one takes a cheater. its more likly that person will probably cheat. dont use the guy your with just leave. because your hurting him way more then you know.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,619
    So you want to 'have a break' with this new guy without telling your boyfriend that you are cheating on him with the new guy so that if the new romance doesn't work out you can go back to your old boyfriend and he won't know?

    Please, tell your boyfriend the truth so he can find someone who loves him and won't cheat on him. I am sure you and the new guy will do just fine even if you don't stay together.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member faithful14's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    2,067
    Gender
    Female
    I think you need to be honest with your boyfriend about what's going on.

    He deserves to know the truth about you so he can decide what to do.
    Have you noticed that when you stress too much about something & keep waiting for it anxiously, it just won't happen? This is true for everything in life. When you want something so desperately you won't get it. But when you can let go of your obsessive feelings & learn to care less about it, you will achieve your goal.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member avman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Minnesota
    Age
    47
    Posts
    8,569
    Gender
    Male
    I too think your boyfriend deserves the truth. You can't be seriously thinking of telling him you want a break and then go behind his back with a new guy. That's so unfair. Break up with your boyfriend if you want to play the field.
    You can make the world a better place - one person at a time.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member guynextdoor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    5280
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,508
    Gender
    Male
    The damage is done. Please tell your bf so he can move on with his life without you...
    Sabrina don't stare at it, eat it!- Patrick Bateman

  9. #8
    Silver Member C_Unknown2005's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Mars
    Posts
    800
    Gender
    Male
    I think it's very selfish of you to be cheating on your boyfriend. The relationship needs to end and if you TRULY love someone you wouldn't have slept with this other guy."You believe you'll be together forever" is bullcrap and all your doing is dragging this out. To me the relationship you two have built is about to crumble. You need to be honest with him and tell the bitter truth.

    I'm not here to judge you but what I think your doing is wrong. And going to the rebound guy will not help you in the long run with your mind set.


    Holy cow this forum blew up!!

  10. #9
    Platinum Member teabee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    1,087
    Gender
    Female
    I believe you do not have empathy for your boyfriend right now. You will understand better when you see the devastation on his face when he finds out.

  11. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Omaha
    Posts
    234
    Gender
    Female
    i said any advice is appreciated, and it is. i need to hear this from an outside perspective because all of my friends have just been supportive to what they think i want to hear. obviously there are other factors that would take me months to type in this forum, but those are the main points. thanks everyone

Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
One of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life are failed relationships. Making a relationship work is one of the most important life ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
It has been universally acknowledged that having a long distance relationship is not such a good idea, especially if there is no known end-date to ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Some people say that when we deeply love or care about someone we automatically open the door to betrayal. I am not sure whether such statement holds ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •