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  1. #1
    Member
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    Feb 2010
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    ex girlfriend using me or does she want me back?

    Okay so it has been over a year since my ex gf broke it off between us. I have done a lot of healing and underwent a lot of changes since then by improving my poor qualities and maturing greatly. I am 21 and she is 18 but ever since she broke up she would contact me at least once a month. A few months ago she broke it off with her rebound and recently she has been really flirtatious with me and wanting to hang out with me. She will contact me at least once a week and last week the whole thing kind of hit the fan because she started telling me how she hates being single and all this <removed> about guys. Then she tells me how she will always have some feelings for me and that she still feels close to me even though we havent seen each other in close to a year. She also is planning on hanging out with me a lot this summer as she says and she flirts with me whenever we talk. The other day she videochatted me and we ended up talking and flirting for about 3 hours.
    My question is i dont know what to do going forward because i clearly still have feelings for her but im reserved that she will <removed> me over again and hurt me. I dont know if shes just using me, wanting to be friends or legit trying to set the stage for us getting back together? We also discussed how much she hurt me in our recent conversation and she was apologizing and saying how it was just best for her at the time..what does that even mean? she also admitted that her rebound was just a booty call to try and get over me and in her words she said it didnt work at first but then left it at that. The whole point behind me writing this is because I do want her back but i dont know if its a good idea or if thats what she is intending because i cant ever just be friends with her. Just from this recent conversation i am missing her more and getting upset when i try not to talk to her a lot and she will only initiate contact with me randomly. Please offer any advice for me, it is much appreciated!!

    Dave
    Last edited by avman; 04-19-2011 at 10:29 PM. Reason: Language

  2. #2
    Silver Member DigitalSpy's Avatar
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    I would say keep your distance for a while. It may well be that right now she is feeling lonely and maybe a little hurt, and she wants to go to the only guy that has ever made her feel truly special and wanted (you). I would try and sit this out for a while, after a month or so she should know deep down if she really wants you or if she just wants a companion.

    Keep LC you dont want to push her away, but at the same time keep your distance. Don't get emotionally attached again and do not expect this to become anything more than what it already is. If you dont expect anything, you can be let down. After a month or so if she is still the same maybe you might like to see her on a "friends only" basis. You will be able to tell what her real intentions are at this point.

    Just carry on how you are, its been over a year and you have healed so dont start taking steps backward. Take what comes, and never expect anything.

    All the best mate

  3. #3
    Member
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    Feb 2010
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    31
    Yeah i was thinking something along those lines. She is so confusing and I don't know why but I just want to be with her still and I've dated other girls but no one has made me feel like she does. I'll just stay friendly and maybe hang out with her to pick up on body language and talk things out casually. I've been stepping backwards recently but i'm trying to prevent it cause its not a good feeling. Thanks for the input!

    Any other advice from anyone else reading this??

  4. #4
    Platinum Member learning2relax's Avatar
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    LC sounds like the way to go if she is confusing you. You will know when she is serious. Otherwise, why risk her just looking to use you as a back up if she doesn't like being alone. The part that really stuck with me about your post when you discussed how much it hurt you when she broke things off is when she apologized and then added that it was good for her at the time. Justification. That tells me that she hasn't learned enough to handle things differently and you could be setting yourself up for the same.

    Don't get me wrong, I am not saying move along and forget about it. I am just saying hold back a bit and see if she works for it. When you start getting clearer signals from her and less static, you might have better information for which to make the decision that is best for you and the health of your heart and soul.
    Learning2Relax
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    Practice not doing, and everything will fall into place.
    You are entitled to your actions, not the results of your actions.
    Fulfillment is a feeling, not a person.

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  6. #5
    My ex girlfriend broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. we was together for 2 and a half years and have bin through and done alot together i met her when i just turned 16 and now im 19 years old. I am so in love with this girl which she has also said to me but im also very confused. the reason she broke up with me is because she said she felt like she was in a bubblle of my protection. she said that i changed in the relationship and she didnt like it she said she broke up wid me because she didnt want to do something she would regret because intensity can only be built up until you have an outburst and she didnt want to break on with me on bad terms as to why she split wd me. she ask for us to still remain friends and i agreed to it cause we were also like best frineds we literally know everything about each other past present and also future. she still says shes in love with me she loves ,etc.... couple days after the break up she got kicked out her house and called me to ask to stay i allowed it and she was her for 3 nights we kissed we had sex she told me she loves me then she left.... no and again after that at keast once in that week she would come see me but this wasent from her calling to ask to see me we would be talking in txt or phone and ill say oh come see me hang out bla bla and she will.... whens she comes we will styl mess around have a laugh the other night i was standing in front of her and she pulled me to her and we kissed for quite some time when it came to her going home we went upstairs to get her stuff and she grab my bum and stuck her hand down my trousers playing with my member and said oh she loves to tease.... but this is where im cnfused whilst doing all of this she allows guys to cherpse her she gives them her number or blackberyy pin when she comes to see me ill see flirtatious talk. she says if someone asks her out for a date she would go, yesterday i asked for her to chill she said she cant cause she has plans and she was supposed to be meeting this guy she apperently has known for 2 years yesterday but i dont kno if she did. a few days after we split she went to one guys house who i dnt like because when we last split up they kissed and she regretted it which made her come back to me cz thats when she realised... she went to his house a few days after she split with me and the kissed tongue and everything... she said she just needed a friend but i said to her he isnt a friend he just wants to get in yur knickers bcuz what guy friend will come onto a gurl knowing she just came out of a relationship... judging by her telling me he made the 1st mood she exceoted but stopped after a while,,,,,, and when she told me she broke down in tearss because she thot she was gonna loose me for ever becuase of that.. she said that she needs to build the bridges in her life and work on herslef so she can be the wife she wants to be to me because she says that she wants to marry me and she wants me and her to have our 1st children together but right now she dont want a relationship and she says she cant commit to me right now.....and everytime i bring this up she jus says its stressfull bla bla so i try not to but its hard... like the other day she randomly txt me saying good night bbe i love you... since the break up we bin talking she will contact me asking me how my day went cause i started a new job she would flirt wid tell me about her day about whats new or she wud call me if she nneds someone to talk to.... like since we split she hasent onced ask to come see me but wen we talk i suggest it and she comes. however yesterday when i asked her if she wanted to chill bearing in mind i aint seen her since tues and i kinda had a bad day and wanted a friendly face she couldnt make it she had plans.. which later on was told she was going to meet a male friend and go chill out his house so she says... she said to me if it comes down to being in a intimate situatuion if she wanted to do it she would becuase she can.... HELP im so confused is she using me... does she genfrallly want me back or is she leading me on until something better comes along ??

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